Come on Baby light my fire

This is a transcript of an actual cyber sex session. As all of you are
well aware, online computers are often used to engage in cybersex.
Detailed fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly
transmitted over then Internet. Sometimes these harmless fantasies
become fairly raunchy. This is not the case with the following
transcript of an actual on-line cybersex session. Either this guy is
clueless or has the greatest sense of humour known to mankind.

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I
workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair
of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old
T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind
of funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the
stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm
smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel
your huge swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I 'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly
off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing
and pulling.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my
soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck.
Do you have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly; I reach behind my
back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my
breasts, nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your
tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains
of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it
in the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard
tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I 'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,
in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a
cup. Where do you keep your cups??

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost.
Where is the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against
each other.


Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for
the toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle.
Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm
walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,
woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm
having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another
second. Slide it in! Screw me!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all
floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my
underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across
the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and
your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell
on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a
shocked look on my face.


Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

seen it before - still funny :)

thats bloody funny. a cleanfreak cyber sex session!

Thats quality! Never seen it before well done! K+!

Very old but it made me smile again.

lmao, seen a few of those b4, not this one though

ALways wondered what the point in cybersex was, that looks fun tho