Dying from Alcohol abuse !!!

[piggzy]

Not sure how to word this.

Lost by best mate when I was young who became and alcoholic (serious spirits abuser) . Died in his twenties !!!

Just found out (but suspected for a few years) brother in law has a week to go from same thing.

He had warning signs and pretended to family he had stopped drinking, but I knew this was BS and tried to warn family but they refused to listen.
Now tonight he has been given a week to live.

I tried hard to warn and open eyes but was called out. However I feel like a shitty cunt.


Rewrote this about 5 times now. I am no saint. FUCK

[crazyal]

How people live their lives and what they do with their time on earth is down to them. You can't take responsibility for that, you have your own life to live. I understand he may have needed help, but you sound like you did what you could chap.

Let's hope they are wrong and he has more time than what they say.

[consoles]

sometimes there no helping them, my half brother went the same way.

[CzarJunkie]

The suicide rates across the world are going up. I view deaths like this as a form of suicide, it's just a slower method. It's sad that we live in a society where there has never been so much abundance but joy and happiness seems to elude us. I think we need to rethink what's important and maybe look to family and community as the most important aspects of life, rather than facebook, material wealth and superficial distractions like our celebrity culture etc.

[DavidF]

I echo Czar's thoughts and was especially the second part. As for you Piggzy. Don't beat yourself up mate. I'm afraid that people will do as they wish. Sometimes the feelings are just too strong. I recall my own mother when faced with the facts that smoking was slowly killing her she declared "It's all I have"....Her only pleasure - This was apart from the fact that she had my father by her side for 45+ years, Went too bingo with my sister a couple times a week, Had a few very good close friends handily her best friend for over 50 years lived next door....She was not in poverty and had a somewhat "attentive family".....But in her own head she couldn't/wouldn't give up smoking because it was all she had.
Your own feelings about the situation are probably similar to what many in my own family felt, But you do realise with time that people are free spirits some are happy some are median and some are sad but hardly anyone can explain why...You tried to do the right thing as you saw it. You know that realistically you could do no more. Just be there for him and his friends and family and try to avoid thoughts and recriminations of who should have done more and all that stuff. The people who are left are the ones that can be "saved" by all getting on and supporting each other in any way.

[piggzy]

Oh well. It's all over now. He's gone .
His poor fucking family.

[Teajunkie]

Nothing to say other than he must have been a selfish man.

When you see your family suffer so badly like this and yet you continue to slowly kill yourself the same way knowing it will destroy them even more.
I'm sorry he was a selfish bastard he lied to his family and only cared about himself.
I have myself seen similar situations in families.

RIP

No offence pigzy it's not your fault you did the right thing I would have done the same.

[piggzy]

None taken. He absolutely was selfish.

[CzarJunkie]

I think you are being harsh on a clearly very troubled individual. You may want to believe that you have free will, but free will is a fallacy. We're all products of nature and how we've been nurtured. Society as a whole has to take responsibility for each and every member of society. When someone drinks themselves to death, it's not because he was selfish, or he wanted to hurt his family, he was clearly troubled and the only comfort he found was in drink. I think it's telling that he thought he had to lie to his family to hide the truth, maybe that says more about them, than him.

Sometimes a person is so damaged that you can't help them, and that's truly sad. But to suggest he was selfish and in control of the situation he found himself is naive and narrow minded. I accept that we all have to take personal responsibility for our actions, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you control everything you do. You don't, every decision you make has been years in the making.

[piggzy]

I know there is Physical dependency and Emotional dependency on alcohol.

To my surprise they told him it was an Emotional Dependency so as Czar says above, something in his past, a ghost I don't know about? Something has driven him to this.

Still not getting my head around it tbh. Just trying to be there for the wife and all the extended family is my job for now.
Is shocking to see entire wards dedicated to just this issue.

[DavidF]

I know there is Physical dependency and Emotional dependency on alcohol.

To my surprise they told him it was an Emotional Dependency so as Czar says above, something in his past, a ghost I don't know about? Something has driven him to this.

Still not getting my head around it tbh. Just trying to be there for the wife and all the extended family is my job for now.
Is shocking to see entire wards dedicated to just this issue.

This mate sometimes there is no obvious cause. Some people take themselves to dark places in their own subconscious. Neither can they explain their predicament nor do they often realize that they are unwell.

Sent from my Elephone P8000 using Tapatalk

[crazyal]

I think you are being harsh on a clearly very troubled individual. You may want to believe that you have free will, but free will is a fallacy. We're all products of nature and how we've been nurtured. Society as a whole has to take responsibility for each and every member of society. When someone drinks themselves to death, it's not because he was selfish, or he wanted to hurt his family, he was clearly troubled and the only comfort he found was in drink. I think it's telling that he thought he had to lie to his family to hide the truth, maybe that says more about them, than him.

Sometimes a person is so damaged that you can't help them, and that's truly sad. But to suggest he was selfish and in control of the situation he found himself is naive and narrow minded. I accept that we all have to take personal responsibility for our actions, but don't fall into the trap of thinking you control everything you do. You don't, every decision you make has been years in the making.

Suggesting that society as a whole has to take responsibility for each and every member of society and that someone that drinks MUST be troubled is the biggest load of crap I've read all week.

[CzarJunkie]

Suggesting that society as a whole has to take responsibility for each and every member of society and that someone that drinks MUST be troubled is the biggest load of crap I've read all week.

Considering what you must read, I find that very hard to believe. Unless it's the only thing you've read all week.

[crazyal]

Considering what you must read, I find that very hard to believe. Unless it's the only thing you've read all week.

Fair enough, it's one of the biggest loads of crap I've read all week.

[CzarJunkie]

Fair enough, it's one of the biggest loads of crap I've read all week.

So, I take it you think you have free will? And you are free to make decisions in the moment acting only on the information at the time and independently of any other form of bias or previous experience?

I can already tell from this post and your other contributions to this forum that you seem to lack empathy and compassion. This is probably as a result of your upbringing and the society in which you were nurtured. You may think you were in full control when you posted the above, but it was driven in part by a lack of empathy. That probably took many years to develop and it is so deep rooted in your subconscious that you have absolutely no control over its effect on your decisions.

[crazyal]

Go fuck yourself long-term troll. You have always been a twat here.

[CzarJunkie]

Go fuck yourself long-term troll. You have always been a twat here.

Anger and a lack of empathy go hand in hand. Your response is textbook, and very predictable. It's a shame because I was genuinely looking for a debate on free will. And you've played the 'troll' card, which seems to be common now when one wants to try and mask one's own shortcomings.

[piggzy]

Well something must have just sunk in cos I just spent about an hour blubbing like a 5 year old.
We were best mates about 15 years back but when he turned into the person he became I distanced myself because he changed and at times was a complete cunt.

Emotions are a funny thing really. Sometimes you don't know the fuck why you feel the way you do .

Perhaps I am feeling more for the suffering family, I know one thing I am so out of touch with my emotions.