joke....
ach well its early doors....
>A man, an ostrich & a cat walk into a bar and.....
>The bartender says, "What would you like Sir?" The man says, "I'll have a
>pint of beer."
>He looks at the ostrich and says, "What will you have?""I'll have a pint of
>beer" says the ostrich.
>He looks at the cat, "What will you have?"Half a pint of beer - but I'm not paying."
>"That will be $12.65" says the bartender. So the man reaches into > > > his
>pocket and pulls out exactly $12.65.
>The next day after work the man goes into the same bar. "What'll it be
>today?" says the bartender.
>"Double whisky on the rocks" says the man.He looks at the ostrich and says,
>"What will you have?"
>"I'll join him in a double whisky" says the ostrich.He looks at the cat,
>"What will you have?"
>Half a pint of beer-but I'm not paying" says the cat."That will be $21.95"
>says the bartender. So the man reaches into > > > his pocket and pulls out
>exactly $21.95.The next day after work the man goes into the same bar..
>"Excuse me"the bartender, says, "I was just wondering why, no matter what
>theprice,you always have the exact change in your pocket?""Well" says the man, "when my grandmother died she left me everything in her house and inside there was a lamp. So I rubbed it and out popped a genie. It granted me three wishes. So I asked that every
>time I wanted to buy something I would have the exact change in my pocket".
>"That's brilliant" says the bartender. "You'll never ever run out
>of money.What else did you ask for?"The man sighs and says, "A bird with
>long legs and a tight pussy!!"
**************************
and heres some nursery rhymes..
Mary had a little skirt
with splits right up the sides
and every time that Mary walked
the boys could see her Thighs
Mary had another skirt
'Twas split right up the front
.but she didn't wear that one very often
=*=~
Mary had a little lamb
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
between two chunks of bread.
=*=~
Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet,
her clothes all tattered and torn.
It wasn't the spider that crept beside her, But Little Boy Blue and his horn.
=*=~
Simple Simon met a Pieman, going to the fair.
Said Simple Simon to the Pieman,
What have you got there?
Said the Pieman unto Simon,
Pies, you dickhead.
=*=~
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the kings horses and all the kings men, said "F*ck him, He's only an egg.
=*=~
Mary had a little lamb
It ran into a pylon.
10,000 volts went up it's ass
and turned it's wool to nylon
=*=~
Georgie Porgy pudding and pie.
Kissed the girls and made them cry. When the boys came out to play, He kissed them too, cause he was gay.
=*=~
Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
to have a little fun.
Jill, that dil'
Forgot her pill
And now they have a son.
=*=~
Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
to fetch her poor dog a bone.
When she bent over
Rover took over,
And gave her a bone of his own.
=*=~
Little Boy Blew.
Hey. He needed the money
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Originally Posted by toto67
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