reincarnation

**GameKing** · 3rd January 2005

Hi,Derek (or can I call you Del?), I was wondering if you could tell me what the low down is on reincarnation, do we come back in another life or not?
If we do what are the chances of me coming back rich and famous?

Derek Acorah · 3rd January 2005

Hello gayking48, of course you can call me Del, I prefer my subjects to be relaxed.

Reincarnation is the cornerstone of my belief system, if you visit my website ( http://www.derekacorah.org ), you can read all about me and my past life in Ethiopia 2000 years ago, its not much different to my modern day home town of Liverpool, except of course for the pestilence, famine, social depravity and ritual slaying although Ethiopia wasn't too hot either.

Everyone who is alive today has been alive in the past, the souls of the dead are reborn into the bodies of the living, its a bit like waiting in a massive queue at the deli counter, when you die you are given a number and then you wait in line until your number is called. In the meantime you get to wander around in the spirit world and make me a few quid.

Unfortunatley you cannot choose who you return as, it's pure pot luck, I'm hoping to go back next time as a lady, as I feel like a change.

**mladen** · 3rd January 2005

Just wondering, would you say we are reborn again into humans or could we be reborn as a cow for example? Are the spirits of humans and other animals equal in heaven?

Also, can you tell how long the queue is? Or is it just random? It strikes me as being a little unfair if it is random. :nowords:

Derek Acorah · 3rd January 2005

Hello mladen, welcome to Derek's Mystery Machine!

You have come up with some bumper questions there, good for you.

Humans were created in the form of the creator and we are his chosen species, therefore we get top billing when it comes to the Spirit World. There's no equailty in death I'm afraid, animals still shit in the street in heaven you know.

When you join the queue for reincarnation it is a given you will be going back as a human, however, special dispensation can be given to what are known as 'trancenders' in the spirit world, better known on earth as Albanians, if they have led a particulary useless life God can recommend that they return as hamsters.

The reincarnation queue presently stands at around 56,000 with an estimated queing time of around 8 months.

**vn1** · 3rd January 2005

Hello Derek,

What happens when I have attained enlightenment?

Derek Acorah · 3rd January 2005

Originally Posted by vn1

Hello Derek,

What happens when I have attained enlightenment?

You will recieve a Badge, a Certificate and a 10p mix.

**GameKing** · 4th January 2005

Cheers Del, I just hope I dont come back as an Albanian..........so when Freddie Starr eat that hamster, he was really eating an Albanian :cartman

**lin** · 4th January 2005

Hi Derek.
I was a cat in my previous incarnation, this time I have been reborn as a woman. As there is obviously nowhere higher for anyone to go, could I choose to be a spirit guide next time and be famous like Sam?

Derek Acorah · 4th January 2005

Hello Lin, it is always good to see female members of the forum asking questions, you are probably taking a break from washing up or ironing no doubt, well not to worry my dear, tell your husband not to fret as this won't take long (something I often say to Yvette).

To become a spirit guide you often have to have led a particulary productive life. Sam is on the panel that actually chooses new spirit guides and he is always looking for prospective guides for the future.

In order for Sam to be able to assess your potential you must stand in front of a full length mirror (it is essential that you are naked) and take a picture of yourself with a digital camera with a flash. This will highlight your 'spectral aura', once you have taken 3 in various poses please email them to me and I can describe your aura to Sam.

All the best
Derek.

**fonetech** · 4th January 2005

I believe in reincarnation

Just last night I reincarnated a vindaloo

doesnt my arse know it too

**lin** · 4th January 2005

Thanks for your considered reply, Derek.
I have the photos here but unfortunately they are obscured by jagged orbs that split the mirror.
As you do not accept emails I am at a loss as to what to do next, maybe I should post them on Reader's Wives?
Sorry for the delay in replying, I was making a casserole.