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Thread: Rooster booster

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member GameKing's Avatar
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    Funny Rooster booster

    It`s an old `un, but I hope you`ll like it.....

    A farmer has 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster that he would sell.
    The other farmer says, "Yep, I've got this great rooster, named Ralph. He'll service every chicken you got, no problem."
    Well, Ralph the rooster costs £1,000, a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Ralph. The farmer takes Ralph home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk.
    "I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So,take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.
    Ralph seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Ralph takes off like a shot. WHAM! Ralph nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Ralph is in there. Later, the farmer sees Ralph after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! He gets all the geese. By sunset he sees Ralph out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last 24 hours. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Ralph on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air. Vultures are circling overhead.
    The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says,"Oh, Ralph, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself."
    Ralph opens one eye, nods toward the vultures circling in the sky and says,
    "Shhhh! They're getting closer."

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member Shambles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster







    F*k me I just pissed myself wet thru. No I did

    That's one of the best I've heard this year mate.

    When I can get karma to you I'll post it first class

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Fooking hilarious. Well done sir!!!!
    Long time since I heard that one and loved it then.


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    rotflmfao ... best one in ages!!!!

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member fonetech's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    roflmao, good to see a great joke in the comedy club, some are good, this is excellent

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member wtaylor's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    F**king brilliant, cant wait to tell that 1

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member baggy13's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    although i think this is one of the best jokes ever i for my sins cannot tell it
    when i tell it it just sounds so poor it really has to be told by a good joke teller to get the biggest effect
    please be my guest and carry on with quality humour

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member fastblatt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Brilliant. Made my day.

  9. #9
    DF Probation Ryan5262's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    bloody great joke mate !!!

    Karma defo coming your way for this !!
    [FONT=Arial Black]Life is a waste of time, Time is a waste of life so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life!:biggrin: [/FONT]

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member incognito™'s Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Karma'd you up for that one... fookin brill

  11. #11
    DF Member beano21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    good joke mate.......... if only us human men could go like that..........
    karma given....................

  12. #12
    DF Rookie skudda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    pmsl fookin brilliant lol

  13. #13
    DF Member jimenguk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    :thumbs Excellent joke!! ill be telling that one for sure...Nice post mate!

  14. #14
    DF VIP Member Crags's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Superb mate - pre fekkin petry - K on route...

  15. #15
    DF VIP Member MaxP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    u can have some Karma for that

  16. #16
    ABCMan
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    loved it

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Cheers ABCMan for bringung that back, missed it the first time. Superb :thumbs

  18. #18
    DF Probation $wish's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    i missed it first time too, fcking loved it! have some $wish Karma :thumbs

  19. #19
    DF VIP Member Apocalypse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    buwahahahahaha, fooking stonker of a joke mate

  20. #20
    ABCMan
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    Default Re: Rooster booster

    Quote Originally Posted by philo
    Cheers ABCMan for bringung that back, missed it the first time. Superb :thumbs
    dont blame me for bringing it back, i linked in from someones post in another thread

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