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  1. #1
    DF VIP Member burner1's Avatar
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    Default Any lone parents here?

    It's not really a 'legal' issue so I thought I would post in here. Just wondering what sort of benefits (In figures) I would be entitled to as a lone parent of one child full time. Is there any members who are in this situation? I am obviously looking into the implications over the next week or so via benefits office/CAB etc.., but due to rarely being in town long enough to pop in anywhere during work hours (Due to my job) that is going to take a while. Basically, my ex has asked me if I could take on our youngest full time as she (mum) has had a hard time of it these past couple of years and I can appreciate it hasn't been easy for her (even though she cheated on me the bitch lol). Up till now, I have the little one and my 4 YO son 3-5 times a week and every other weekend as it is, and don't claim anything for that as it would effect mums money. I want to help her as much as I can, but having the little one full time would mean I would have to give my current job up as it involves having to be very flexible in my daily hours and no two days are the same.. sometimes I am out till 9 or 10 P.M, sometimes I have to start at 6 A.M, you get the picture.

    There is personal benefits, child allowance, housing etc.. lots of different things.
    So if any guys/gals are in this situation would be interested to know what I could expect, cheers....

    ps: I could not and would not stay out of work for too long as it would do my head in, but as I say, my current job is no good for a lone parent and just looking at all options at the moment.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member Keva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    if your in a job I think you are eligable for tax credits. Im sure someone will correct me if im wrong

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member beekae's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Work harder and pay for nursery care.
    Benefits are for the deserving,not a choice,rather like children.

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member burner1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Quote Originally Posted by beekae
    Work harder and pay for nursery care.
    Benefits are for the deserving,not a choice,rather like children.
    I work as hard as I can, and work long hours when required. Jobs in my profession (that is; what I am experienced/trained in) and the geographical location I live in don't come easy and the pay is not that great, if all I wanted was 'decent' money I would feck off abroad and rake it in, but I don't, because I want to be here for my kids. As I said, In my current position, I have to work early/late hours so if you are such a smart arse and know of a nursery service that's on call 24/7 that falls within my budget then let me know. I simply asked a few questions regarding one possible scenario that I may face.

    I feel I HAVE to make a choice here, just tell my ex to naff off and let her get on with it? with the possibility she could cause herself/the kids grief?

    I said I want to, and will work, but need to change things from the status quo for the benefit of my kids which may involve some time being unemployed. Don't make me out to sound like some selfish, lazy sponger, because I'm not and never wish to be.
    Last edited by burner1; 14th November 2005 at 10:42 PM.

  5. #5
    DF Probation stuz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Seems like a tough one here.

    Basically you must have a legal stance if your ex is now giving what seems like full custody of your child to you? Surely she would be entitled to pay money for the childs upbringing. You should DEFINATELY post in the legal section about getting benefits from the government as well.

    As for what to do with work, it really isnt easy, and unless you have a relative such as a granny or something who would be willing to look after the kids then there is no choice but to either get a childminder, or leave the job. I went to a childminder for about 3 hours after school when I was ages 5-10 and it wasnt that bad at all. Costwise it was £2 an hour for my mum to pay. However, parents do feel guilty about leaving their children for extended periods of time, its a natural thing and I wouldnt be entirely happy leaving a child of mine for 15 hours a week with a family of strangers.

    However, there must be a compromise somewhere, like perhaps when your working you could have your child at his mothers?

    EDIT: Just remembered about the 'granny' thing, my friends gran used to drive up to his house every day to look after him when his parents were both working, if theres a close relative who would get involved then thats great. And I know your son might end up sticking the fingers up at your mother in law all the time
    Im a fuckwit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member snow white's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Looking at benefits you would be entitled to free council rent and council tax,
    child benefit and income support for yourself and your child about £90.00. a week +
    £15.00. a week child benefit. However Job centres are now doing a programme called
    New Deal, it may be worth enquiring about that at your local Job Centre.
    Good Luck

  7. #7
    ABCMan
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Quote Originally Posted by snow white
    Looking at benefits you would be entitled to free council rent and council tax,
    child benefit and income support for yourself and your child about £90.00. a week +
    £15.00. a week child benefit. However Job centres are now doing a programme called
    New Deal, it may be worth enquiring about that at your local Job Centre.
    Good Luck
    no idea on the figures but..

    you'd be entitled to (assuming you were not working)
    free dental
    free prescriptions
    free school meals
    free school uniform
    free council tax
    free rent (council or private rented upto your local limits)
    child benefit for each child
    income support/jobseekers allowance
    income support for each child
    single parent benifit (an additional payment made to single parents)

    that is all assuming that both children are your own, if not then going to court to get a residence order (which is basicly like an adoption but without the name change) will also allow you to claim a residence order allowence through your local social services department, a residence order allowence is not counted against other benifits / allowences and doesnt need to be declared, that should pay upto £168/fortnight on top of any other benefits, although you'll probably have to do a fair bit of argueing with social services to get it.

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member b!lly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    if u are still working u can claim for working tax credit,,,,,(as i do)and they also pay 70% of my nursery fees...cost is £100 per week(4 hours a day) and they pay £70 per week leaving me only £30 for child care which is a good boost,,,, if u make £15,000 or less a year they will pay up to 70% and the more u make the less they pay,,,,,,,hope this helps......i know how u must be feeling,its pretty hard trying to work and live comfortably while trying to be a good parent and spending ime with your kids.

    hope it works out for ya m8

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member lin's Avatar
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    Me and my fella spit our dummies out so we won't be coming back. ever. boo hoo.

    This is a techy / hackers forum not a fu**ing mothers meeting so - peace out.

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member burner1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Thanks for the input all, appreciate your info/comments, especially those links lin, very useful to have.
    I had a meeting with my team leader today and put him in the picture regarding my situation and intentions. He is looking into perhaps getting my hours fixed nearer to a 'normal' working day, hopefully that would be good news, but you know what senior management are like

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member beekae's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    ....see,I was right.
    Now what contribution is the ex making,apart from dumping her kids ?

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member flumperino's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    that's perhaps a little harsh mate?

    It's not like this woman I know of, who had another kid just to get the cash! Now that is plain sad

    Shooooooo-ryuken!

  13. #13
    DF Probation stuz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Quote Originally Posted by beekae
    ....see,I was right.
    Now what contribution is the ex making,apart from dumping her kids ?
    How exactly were you right?
    Im a fuckwit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  14. #14
    DF VIP Member burner1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Quote Originally Posted by beekae
    ....see,I was right.
    Now what contribution is the ex making,apart from dumping her kids ?
    Blimey beekae, you can be judgemental!

    As I said, she has had a hard time of it (emotionally/psychologically) past couple of years and has asked for help as she knew she was in bother.. I thinks that's her 'contribution'; actually admitting to a problem and everyone concerned dealing with it, with her. I certainly know some women who would just let the kids run riot day or night and stick their head in the sand regarding their safety and welfare. Or do you feel someone that is having psychological issues to be 'lazy'?

    As for your 'being right'.. are you referring to work harder? etc.. it's nothing to do with working harder, it's about the unsociable and unpredictable aspect of my work hours occasionaly.

  15. #15
    DF VIP Member beekae's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Woah,hold on.
    The guy has worked out his work situation,as I said he should do.
    Now,his cheating partner,who is trying to pass off her parental duties(as awarded by any court in the land),is surely now duty bound to do the best for her kids by working and earning her ass off.

    People who have kids,are morally bound to provide the best for them.
    If you CAN work,and earn money,you have a head start on those who cant.

    Burner1 opened up to us,he made a decision,now as its an open subject I think his partners efforts are fair game for taxpayers.

  16. #16
    DF VIP Member beekae's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    my thoughts were posted simultaneously with yours burner.
    Without more information about your partners "hard time" its difficult to make any other judgement.

  17. #17
    DF VIP Member burner1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Any lone parents here?

    Quote Originally Posted by beekae
    my thoughts were posted simultaneously with yours burner.
    Without more information about your partners "hard time" its difficult to make any other judgement.
    Fair comment mate, it's one of those things you don't want to go into too much detail about sometimes.

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