Right im am absolute muppet!! I gave up about 2 years ago for about a year and never touched a machine cos i worked out i lost a lot, i mean a lot. In the last 5 months ive steadily been hitting my usual haunts and i started by watching a few mates i used to gamble with, play the machines. I started watching the £500 jackpot ones and seeing them lose £1000s and never gettting any back, thinking im never gonna go on those. Well i started playing the £25 jackpot ones and losing here and there but never too much and generally making it back the week after. Well one day i was £45 down and thought i would give the £500s a spin, well i managed to get my £45 back and make £15 and walk away. The last 5 times ive played them they have basically rescued me from being down to either even or a little up. As any gambler will tell you all they are looking for is to be even then go for a win.
Right this is where it gets interesting, tonight im playing my usual machine im £9 in and i get the cashpot upto £15 and the board is nice but then i hit a mystery, i can collect and be £6 up, you can guess what i did, gamble!! well to cut a long story short i managed to get the top feature after £50 in and i get back £56 so no better than i started!! Typical huh well this is where i got a bit cocky and put it all in the £500, well im playing it on £2 a spin and its eating my money and then out of nowhere it throws me a pot win of £288!! Result!! I play it down to £260 and collect. This is the best feeling as the guy next to me is doing his nuts in the £500 next to it. He leaves after losing about £80 so i think worth a punt im well up. £50 in i get one bonus feature and it goes for £12 im pissed so thats £50 gone and my mate tells me to leave but i get the blinkers on and say ill try another £20, that soon goes and i tried another £20 and another!! Before i know it ive only got £100 in coins in my bag. At this point I'm NOT thinking right im still up £46, im thinking SHIT im down £160, you can probably guess what happened next i went mental and ploughed it all in!! Nothing, no big wins nadda all crappy £10 wins and no real bonuses. I still had a bit of dough on me so i start piling that in. WANKER i know!! I piled another £60 in and only in the last £20 was it doing something so at this stage im actually down £120 of my own money and £234 of winnings. What a cunt im thinking but i still reach into my pocket and feed the machine another £20 but then the machine wakes up and starts giving some decent wins and i build the bank up and i finally get it to £190 and i play it down to £180 and walk. Now im up £40 which normally i would be chuffed about but the thing is i know i was LUCKY AS ANYTHING to get that £180 back and so if i hadnt got that back i would of spent the rest of the money in my pocket chasing it. I know i have a problem and i know what it is but i can't seem to shake it. It was really bad and really brought it home tonite how bad ive got as i was literally gonna go home with the £260 but something called greed stopped me and im really worried about what its doing to me. Ive seen this machine suck and suck like a vampire and yet i couldn't walk away. I knew that it would never pay me my money back as £380 is a massive win on this machine but i still ploughed on. I know its not really a problem compared to some people but for me i really dunno what to do as i have an addiction but i can't seem to be able to stop myself when im right in the thick of the gamble.
Please call me a cunt as i deserve it and will probably make me feel a bit better.
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