Marriage

[headsortails]

Firstly I know there is a load of info on this stuff all over the net but want some real opinion from real people, well from you anyway.

What options are open to non-religious people getting married? All the 'god stuff' would mean little to me if I were to marry in a traditional way.

What do you reckon about marriage? Good idea? The beginning of the end?

A very general question - do you think there is a minimum time you should wait before considering a proposal?? Or just when it feels right?

And of course, these questions are from a friend of mine.

[BertRoot]

I didn't propose I got nailed on a fucking leap year. If it had been left to me I would never have done it as I think marriage is just a money maker for others.

Wait as long as you want it will never feel right.

I got married in Hawaii in a non denominational cermeony and it was ideal. No religion, no family or hangers on just me and her doing it in the sun.

[TheFincher]

This is a very tricky subject mate............ Ive been with my Mrs for over 3 years now and we have a littlun together and have lived together since we met pretty much.

Whenever marriage has been spoken about ive not really been interested in having the conversation as i dont like to feel pressured in to anything!!

When she was pregnant and bored at home she decided to book us a holiday to New York which we leave to go on Wednesday morning where i think i will "pop the question" as long as she doesnt piss me off too much or expect it!!

As for the ceremony i havent even thought about it but i get the impression that all women want the big church wedding.......... Personally id like to fuck off to Vegas with me dressed as Elvis and her as Dolly Parton and do a drive through wedding........... Time will tell!

[headsortails]

Wait as long as you want it will never feel right.

lol

[Swiss Tony]

I was with the Mrs 6 years before we got married, like you guys said, we had a church wedding in a little village church followed by the biggest pissup I've ever seen at some hotel country club thing (I can't remember the name......it was that good!). Ran out of beer at 10pm, they closed the bar in another building to ship the booze from there through ! Things between me and her haven't changed since we tied the knot, I still go out when I want/she does the washing/cleaning/cooking etc (as any good kitchen appliance should do !)....and for me the old blow job myth hasn't come true

[cassy34]

I got married in a country house with the reception and evening do at the same place. Made it really relaxed and thoroughly enjoyable.

[EvilBoB]

I got married to my wife 5 years ago. I am Catholic and my wife is Irish Catholic but we are not bible bashers and the only time I have been to church in the last 15 years was for my wedding.

As she is Irish of course it had to take place there and they expect everyone in the family to be invited. Ended up with about 150 people I had never met coming :-(

Do it on the quiet and you can save a lot of money.

My first marriage failed however and I was a lot more cautious the second time around.

I think it is great and me and the mrs never argue - 2 arguments in all the time we've known each other (10 yrs) isn't bad. (And one of those was when I was pissed and I was convinced she had thrown away the Dreamcast PSU) hehe

[headsortails]

What do you think about the idea of asking the father for his daughter's hand in marriage?

[EvilBoB]

I think that is an old fashioned routine. I don't know anyone that has used that tact since the invention of light bulbs

[CzarJunkie]

Unless your religious then a marriage ceremony in a church is meaningless. Of course that won't stop your bride to be dreaming of the church service, her dress, the flowers, a horse drawn carriage and what the brides maids will wear.

It's an antiquated institution that a modern, mature society should shun. But most of us are hopelessly in love with the idea that fairytales really do happen.

In reality you end up paying £20k just so you can spend the day with people you try the rest of your life trying to avoid. Makes perfect sense.......

[EvilBoB]

Czar has hit the nail on the head. I did mine on the cheap and it still cost around £10k (Not including the three week honeymoon). Luckily I had lots of breaks - the priest that married us is my wife's uncle

[headsortails]

Unless your religious then a marriage ceremony in a church is meaningless. Of course that won't stop your bride to be dreaming of the church service, her dress, the flowers, a horse drawn carriage and what the brides maids will wear.

It's an antiquated institution that a modern, mature society should shun. But most of us are hopelessly in love with the idea that fairytales really do happen.

In reality you end up paying £20k just so you can spend the day with people you try the rest of your life trying to avoid. Makes perfect sense.......

My gf has spoken briefly about marriage and likes the idea of Lapland or Iceland of all places.

As for the money, if a marriage ever happens, I'm hoping her father is old fashioned enough to fork out for it all .

[Roach-Rampino]

As for the money, if a marriage ever happens, I'm hoping her father is old fashioned enough to fork out for it all .

Unfortunately old fruit that tradition seems to have been discarded over the last few decades and unless you are marrying into a wealthy family, there is very few fathers who have a nest egg that will cover their daughters wedding whims.

I got married in a civil ceremony this Easter. Neither of us wanted a church wedding as it would have been totally hypocrytical of what we believe in (nowt). We considered buggering off abroad, giving the option to those friends and family who wanted to shell out and come, and then having a big party when we returned. But we didn't, we spread the do out over 4 days and we had a fantastic long weekend in Warwickshire with all of our close family and friends. I had 3 stag-dos and she had 3 hen-do's which were all very memorable. The day itself is amzing as no matter how much I drank, I didn't think I was that pissed


I never thought I wanted to get married but I met the right girl, we lived together for 3 years so knew it was going to work (well we knew we got along living together) and then made the commitment to marriage.

[Welsh Pete]

I got married last year in a nice country house. We had a civil service on site (see your local council) and had the reception in the function rooms. Really nice and meant no having to hire more cars to ship us from a church to the venue...also we stayed that night so we just has to crawl upstairs to shag, and then sleep

[Soulassassin]

Been with my lass for 10 years now, lived together for over 9 years. She keeps hinting to me about getting engaged, but marrage to me is just a load of religous piffle. I understand the fact she would have my surname and filling stuff in saying married instead of 'living with partner' might make her feel better, but almost every marrage on my side of the family has ended in divorce, including my parents, so whats the point?.

[DJAd]

we leave to go on Wednesday morning where i think i will "pop the question" as long as she doesnt piss me off too much or expect it!!

Congrats mate, whens the Stag night then??! Leave the strippers to me

[DB]

Well i took the plunge in 1999.

The wife wanted the whole, expensive dress, church in a village, dinner in a castle, and a piss up on the night. Honeymooned in Hong Kong and Bali.

I loved married life, and in response to Swiss Tony, that myth is bollocks m8, the blowing never stops

ohh and i did ask her dad for her hand. (felt like a right tit though) coz im not the kind of person you would expect to do that.

[Roach-Rampino]

I understand the fact she would have my surname and filling stuff in saying married instead of 'living with partner' might make her feel better, but almost every marrage on my side of the family has ended in divorce, including my parents, so whats the point?.

Practically everyone in my family that can be married has been divorced including my parents, grandparents (when alive)cousins, uncles and aunts etc but that didn't stop me. Religion didn't factor in our marriage, it was more to do with making a commitment to each other (bleeurgh!), sharing a name, and if and when we have kids their parents having the same surname.

I don't judge people who aren't married, it's an indivdual choice and certainly not "the done thing". The way I see it each to their own and what suits some may not be for others. People nowdays are to fucking quick and too bloody nosey to offer opinions on other peoples lives.

[TheFincher]

Congrats mate, whens the Stag night then??! Leave the strippers to me

Mate i havent even asked her yet!!!

Stag do is gonna be in Amsterdam i reckon......... keep the riff raf out!!!

[John-Of-Ireland]

Just ask her how she'd like to be buried with your people. The reaction will tell you a lot.
John-Of-Ireland