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Thread: Bog Roll

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member Nikki's Avatar
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    Question Bog Roll

    Dont you just hate bog roll that is so thin when you wipe your arse your finger pokes holes in it? or is it just me?

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    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    Shave your ass and you won't get the same issues.


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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    2-3 sheets folded may prevent this problem from re-occuring?

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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    I barely use any toilet paper, instead I have a toilet douche attached to my crapper which cleans using lovely warm water. After about 30 secs you dab dry with a little paper and job done, squeaky clean and fresh as a daisy.
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    I gave up using bog roll years ago.

    Nowdays I get one of my servants to dab my ring clean with cotton wool soaked in chilled full fat milk, fresh from a Jersey cows udders. To dry it I have an asthmatic octagenarian wheeze inches from my naked bumhole and it's dry just as they start to turn blue. Finally I used powdered white tiger claws to dust over my now clean botty in order to absorb any remaining moisture.

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    DF VIP Member FireBlade's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    thing is when you have wiped do you chuck it straight down the bog or do you have a look to see what you have done on the paper?

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    DF VIP Member ruggie_uk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    I find it easier to just leave it.
    It falls off eventually.
    Also gives you a good reason to bathe once a fortnight. Something to actually wash off instead of yesterdays dried soap.
    Granted, get some funny looks at work, but I just tell them a kids had a little poop accident and they walk away laughing for some reason.

    Actually just realised, it's bath night tonight.
    Woohooo
    Clean underwear for me - fantastic.

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    DF VIP Member Over Carl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    I only check towards the end of my cleaning procedure. If you don't how will you know when you are done?

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member ruggie_uk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    Quote Originally Posted by FireBlade View Post
    thing is when you have wiped do you chuck it straight down the bog or do you have a look to see what you have done on the paper?
    You have to look.
    And smell to rate it. See if it's better than yesterday's.
    When you've got friends round you can all compare to see who's is best.

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    DF VIP Member schematic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    I hate it when ur shit dont stick to the paper and just smears it everywhere like a big lump of putty, so i just lean over to the bath and grab the mrs bath sponge, run it under the tap and use that.

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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    Quote Originally Posted by schematic View Post
    I hate it when ur shit dont stick to the paper and just smears it everywhere like a big lump of putty, so i just lean over to the bath and grab the mrs bath sponge, run it under the tap and use that.
    LMAO...you manky bastard...

    I get mine cheap so I use about 4 pieces at a time folded!

    I am a subbie at the local paper mill. They produce paper for Tesco, Sainos, Morrison and Asda. Once a quarter they have a staff offer, which subbies get if we are favoured (whic us telecom gurus are), and this means a slab of 72 rolls *3 =216 rolls for £10. They occassionally throw in 3 slabs of kitchen towel too, so that would be 216 loo rolls and 120 kitchen rolls for £10 = bargain!

    I`ve got 2 slabs of loo roll, and 4 slabs of kitchen towel still in the attic.

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    DF VIP Member Spike2k1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    Quote Originally Posted by Welsh Pete View Post

    I`ve got 2 slabs of loo roll, and 4 slabs of kitchen towel still in the attic.
    just dont get it all exposed to ur roof insulation, you'll have an itchy arse otherwise.

    i wipe few times (depending on consistancy) then go for the baby wipes.
    Meh....

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Bog Roll

    Quote Originally Posted by Spike2k1 View Post
    just dont get it all exposed to ur roof insulation, you'll have an itchy arse otherwise.

    Nah, its shrink wrapped.

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