I am a driving god!
Richard Hammond while driving a Bowler Wildcat.
When the afterburner lights, I haven't got 5,000 horsepower. I've got 10,000 horsepower, and possibly the biggest accident you've ever seen in your life.
Richard Hammond shortly before the biggest accident you've ever seen
I'm a horse of a man!
Jeremy Clarkson while driving the TVR Tuscan II.
Ferrari is so pleased with it, they've named it after the founder of the company. They call it the Enzo. That'd be the same as Lotus calling their next car... 'The Colin'.
Jeremy Clarkson talks about the Ferrari Enzo.
And the other thing is, every time they launch a new model, they try and outdo each other with the quantity of letters and numbers after the cars name. So! These are the two new models. This is the Subaru Impreza STi, WRX, WR, 1. And this is the Mitsubishi Lancer Evo. VIII, MR, FQ, 3, 20.
Richard Hammon on Subaru and Mitsubishi
Unless I have been sorely misinformed, supermodels are powerless to resist a man with illuminated doorsills.
Richard Hammond
The last time I saw plastic like this it contained Tic-Tacs
Richard Hammond on American Cars
This is amazing! A fit young racing driver in a supercar and he cannot pull away from a fat man in a four door saloon!
Jeremy Clarkson on the Mitsubishi Evo 8 FQ400
Right, what we have here is a snooker table or as Richard Hammond calls it as he arrived this morning, "Crikey, a football pitch!"
Jeremy Clarkson to Ronnie O'Sullivan
The thing is, it's a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever... 'Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta-- I'm a gearbox! Oh, heavens, I'm gonna swap some cogs around!'
Jeremy Clarkson on Automatics
They're made in America, of course, so that fat Yanks can go to the fridge without expending any energy.
Jeremy Clarkson while driving a Segway
It's, um, a mobile phone holder, or as Richard Hammond calls it, a seat!
Jeremy Clarkson
Here w e are, doing sixty miles an hour in top gear and the engine is doing 1,500rpm... It's idling! You fat Aussie slacker!
James May on the Holden Monaro
The problem with the Morgan is it's just a car they forgot to stop making in the forties.
James May on the Morgan Aero
I've never been so bored in my life!
Jeremy Clarkson watching Terry Wogan on his lap in a reasonably priced car.
It's like a lion in orange dungarees. Kind of fierce, but ridiculous all at the same time.
Jeremy Clarkson on the Pagani Zonda.
I've just noticed, looking though these results, that ten of the thirteen bottom cars are French.
James May while looking through the Top Gear survey.
-That's possibly why they're burning them in Paris at the moment!
Jeremy Clarkson in response. This was at the time of the riots in Paris.
It was just an ordinary day, and you saw them. There were guys in their Porsches, Look at me in my Porsche, ha ha! and they were overtaken by a van. Driven by a girl!
Richard Hammond about Sabine Schmitz.
In some parts of America they've actually started mating with vegetables.
Cletus Clarkson on Top Gear's big American Road Trip
Don't forget, she [Sabine Schmitz] was only half a second a mile behind you, and she was in this [transit] van.
Richard Hammond on Jeremy Clarksons lap of Nurburgring in a Jaguar S type.
My life is now in the hands of A-level physics.
Richard Hammond testing the theory that inside a car is safe in a thunder storm.
Look. A petrol station, the natural home territory of the Ford GT. And there it is, at the watering hole, drinking its fill. For the 47th time today.
Jeremy Clarkson on his Ford GT.
The clutch is making my left leg hurt, and the gear change has been taken straight out of a Victorian signal box.
Richard Hammond on the new Corvette.
Oh, brilliant. So you're saying the best thing about your four seat cabriolet is you can only fit two people in it.... God, you do talk some rubbish sometimes!
Richard Hammond.
Now, this is really quite simple ,ok? Understeer works like this: you drive down the road , turn the wheel, but the car goes straight on, crashes into a tree and you die. OVERsteer works like this: you drive down the same bit of road, turn the wheel, but the back of the car comes round like this, and you go off the road, crash into a tree and you die. Now, oversteer is best, because you don't see the tree that kills you.
Richard Hammond on car handling.
Oh, I've just seen the queue as we came off the roundabout! I can't live with the shame!
Richard Hammond on the Top Gear caravan holiday.
If this were America, it would be full of people doing... whatever it is they do. 1ncest, mostly, I think.
Jeremy Clarkson while comparing a rural British village with a rural American village.
Mothers will be fishing kids out of obscure cubby-holes for years!
Richard Hammond on the Renault Megan's ample storage.
Oh, dear! I fear Jeremy may be heading this way with an opinion!
Richard Hammond.
The thing is, it's a gearbox, okay? It has one job to do! One job! Pull the lever... 'Am I a pencil? Am I a cauliflower? Am I a nuclear power sta-- I'm a gea rbox! Oh, heavens, I'm gonna swap some cogs around!
Jeremy Clarkson on flappy paddle gearboxes.
The Americans lecture the world on democracy and then won't let me turn the traction control off!
Jeremy Clarkson in a Corvette.
It is very foggy out there today, but you'll note The Stig doesn't have his rear fog lights on, because of course he's not a blithering idiot.
Jeremy Clarkson.
What's the Norwegian for 'Oh, cock'?
James May.
I think Koenigsegg is Swedish for: Oh no, my head has just exploded!
Jeremy Clarkson on the Koenigsegg CCX.
The thing is, I think I'm right in saying that I have never completed a single journey, anywhere there and back, in it ever. Which must make it the most unreliable car... ever made. In fact, if you've got a more unreliable one, write to us at 'Actually I've Got a Peugeot' BBC Top Gear...
Jeremy Clarkson talks about his Fort GT.
If you have any thoughts or opinions on what you've seen in the last ten weeks, do please keep them to yourselves.
Jeremy Clarkson summing up the end of a series.
It's the coldest march for twenty years because of global warming.
Jeremy Clarkson on Global Warming.
We're not just testing cars anymore, we're designing them!
After the Stig test drove the Koenigsegg CCX around the track, Jeremy recommended they fit a rear spoiler. Later that year Koenigsegg did just that and the car performed much better on the track.
There are shantytowns in South Africa that are built better than Renaults!
Jeremy Clarkson on the Renault Modus.
Last time you were here, in the Liana: 1.55. You did it in, the Lacetti, in one minute... (stops and holds up the pen) Due to the unique way the BBC is funded... (looks at the camera) the pen doesn't work!
Jeremy Clarkson writes up Michael Gambon's lap time in the Suzuki Lacetti.
Okay, what we've got here is a snooker table, or, as Richard Hammond said when he arrived here this morning, 'Crikey! A football pitch!
Jeremy Clarkson talking when Ronnie O'Sullivan was in the studio.
Biathletes need to eat 6.000 calories a day: six thousand! That's the equivalent of 2 pounds of butter, 70 slices of bread, 112 eggs, 86 tabs of yogurts, 28 potatoes, 117 biscuits and 21 TWIX bars. On that basis, I could be an Olympic biathlete!
Jeremy Clarkson on the Car Biathlon.
I'm gonna have to explain all this to my nine years old boy... Who's ten I've just remembered!
Jeremy Clarkson
Would the Element be a car for people who like hip-hop, or for people waiting for a hip-op?
James May on the Honda Element
Actually, this is why it's called the F360, this model. You drive along and you go 'ffffffff' and you do a 360!
James May on the Ferrari F360 handling
Top Gear Quotes
Reply With Quote
Re: Top Gear Quotes
Originally Posted by kracken
Social Networking Bookmarks