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  1. #1
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    Default The queens visit.

    I was based in Stirling Castle with my army regiment back in the late eighties. The Queen was visiting one day in the summer and I was pissed off with the countless times we had to practise various bullshit for this visit.

    My sergeant major at the time was a total twat and was always bullying me and the other lad that was also based there.

    Anyway about twenty minutes before the Queen arrived me and my mate wanked in to the sargeant majors hat (not at the same time I'll let you know and not in front of each other. When the sargeant major came in he quickly put on his hat and ran out in a panic to meet the queen.

    Me and my mate couldn't stop laughing but I started to shit myself because of the severity of things if we were caught. The sargeant major never said anything but about an hour later he took his hat off and you could see the spunk had all congealed in to his hair. I've never laughed so much in my life. We called him 'spunky heid' for about a year after that until we got posted back to our battalion.

    I've often felt bad when I think about it. Although he was a twat we shouldn't have done it.
    I understand and accept that some people hold opinions that are different to my own. Living in a free and democratic society, I fully embrace and respect their right to be wrong.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Good revolt against authority. Wonder if he even twigged what had happened. Like unsuspecting bukkake.


  3. #3
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by BertRoot View Post
    Like unsuspecting bukkake.
    I understand and accept that some people hold opinions that are different to my own. Living in a free and democratic society, I fully embrace and respect their right to be wrong.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    class one m8 well done, but are you sure that u didnt crack one of together??
    www.facebook.com/bigbadleo
     Big-Bad-Leo 


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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Lol surely not the safest person to spunk in his hair but the danger makes it all the more funny


  6. #6
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by bigbadleo View Post
    class one m8 well done, but are you sure that u didnt crack one of together??
    If I said 'yes okay then we did' would that make me gay
    I understand and accept that some people hold opinions that are different to my own. Living in a free and democratic society, I fully embrace and respect their right to be wrong.

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Argyll View Post
    If I said 'yes okay then we did' would that make me gay
    If you winked at him yes. Nothing to be afraid of admitting though. You are among friends.


  8. #8
    DF VIP Member SoundOfFaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Argyll View Post
    I was based in Stirling Castle with my army regiment back in the late eighties. The Queen was visiting one day in the summer and I was pissed off with the countless times we had to practise various bullshit for this visit.

    My sergeant major at the time was a total twat and was always bullying me and the other lad that was also based there.

    Anyway about twenty minutes before the Queen arrived me and my mate wanked in to the sargeant majors hat (not at the same time I'll let you know and not in front of each other. When the sargeant major came in he quickly put on his hat and ran out in a panic to meet the queen.

    Me and my mate couldn't stop laughing but I started to shit myself because of the severity of things if we were caught. The sargeant major never said anything but about an hour later he took his hat off and you could see the spunk had all congealed in to his hair. I've never laughed so much in my life. We called him 'spunky heid' for about a year after that until we got posted back to our battalion.

    I've often felt bad when I think about it. Although he was a twat we shouldn't have done it.
    Excellent, props to you to "showing that turd who's boss"

  9. #9
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by BertRoot View Post
    If you winked at him yes. Nothing to be afraid of admitting though. You are among friends.
    class one bert
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  10. #10
    DF VIP Member the.insane's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Quote Originally Posted by Argyll View Post
    I was based in Stirling Castle with my army regiment back in the late eighties. The Queen was visiting one day in the summer and I was pissed off with the countless times we had to practise various bullshit for this visit.

    My sergeant major at the time was a total twat and was always bullying me and the other lad that was also based there.

    Anyway about twenty minutes before the Queen arrived me and my mate wanked in to the sargeant majors hat (not at the same time I'll let you know and not in front of each other. When the sargeant major came in he quickly put on his hat and ran out in a panic to meet the queen.

    Me and my mate couldn't stop laughing but I started to shit myself because of the severity of things if we were caught. The sargeant major never said anything but about an hour later he took his hat off and you could see the spunk had all congealed in to his hair. I've never laughed so much in my life. We called him 'spunky heid' for about a year after that until we got posted back to our battalion.

    I've often felt bad when I think about it. Although he was a twat we shouldn't have done it.
    well done lad, you would have made johnny rotten a happy chappy



    "When i rape you i'll remember to make sure your kneeling facing the television with Fawlty towers on uk gold." - B.I.G.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Excellent, really had me laughing this one. The truth is so much better than fiction
    “If I asked you to have sex with me, would the answer to that question be the same as the answer to this question?”


  12. #12
    Mummy's little soldier I Black Belt's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    I remember reading about some navy lads who got severely pissed off as they'd spent a week cleaning the ship they were posted on in advance of a visit from princess Anne.
    Their annoyance was furthered when they were informed that they were confined to quarters for the duration of her visit.
    So they diverted the soil pipe from the Royal Suite and captured one of her turds, which they proudly displayed below decks on a blue sequinned cushion..

    Quality.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    Cum off it m8 that never happened!
    "Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday � what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area"
    Karl Pilkington

  14. #14
    Awaiting Email Confirm nadeemq's Avatar
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    Default Re: The queens visit.

    That was funny !!

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