I was based in Stirling Castle with my army regiment back in the late eighties. The Queen was visiting one day in the summer and I was pissed off with the countless times we had to practise various bullshit for this visit.
My sergeant major at the time was a total twat and was always bullying me and the other lad that was also based there.
Anyway about twenty minutes before the Queen arrived me and my mate wanked in to the sargeant majors hat (not at the same time I'll let you know and not in front of each other. When the sargeant major came in he quickly put on his hat and ran out in a panic to meet the queen.
Me and my mate couldn't stop laughing but I started to shit myself because of the severity of things if we were caught. The sargeant major never said anything but about an hour later he took his hat off and you could see the spunk had all congealed in to his hair. I've never laughed so much in my life. We called him 'spunky heid' for about a year after that until we got posted back to our battalion.
I've often felt bad when I think about it. Although he was a twat we shouldn't have done it.
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