To my mate Rob and the Welsh virgin - I am so sorry

[Anonymous]

Okay.
first things first.
As a young 20 something living at home, I'd NEVER take a girl home with me (strict upbringing and all that)

So i'm clubbing with my mate Rob, I start chatting up this fit bird, completely ignoring the swamp donkey that is her mate. A few drinks a little dance and i'm off for a piss. On my return, the fit bird I'm chatting up has copped off with some good looking (unt, so in a fit of anger I tap off with her mate - the pig.

and it is a pig. It's welsh, it's fat and it has a fu(king HUGE birthmark on it's face. But i'm still angry and half pissed, so I end up outside getting a pretty half decent nosh off this munter.

Spoff my load and I'm off. get to the front of the club, just as my mate Rob appears, tip him the wink and we're set to fu(k off sharpish, but no, he has to act the (unt and smirk cos i've tapped off with this extra from night of the dead.

The ugly one then starts crying, cos her mates fu(ked off and she's nowhere to stay, it's 3 in the morning and it's cold.

Now as I've said, I never took birds back to mine, but my mate Rob's mum and dad were far more liberal. So it's back to his and I end up giving this crocadillopig one - turns out she's a virgin.

Soon as she's asleep, I'm dressed and off.
lunctime the following day comes and i can here the phone ringing, and ringing and ringing.
it's Rob, he's woken up with a moose loose aboot his hoose, no sign of me and no way to deny to his parents or sister that he's brought this thing home, especially as his mum has to wash the sheets cos they've got blood on them.
He BEGGED me to go round and explain it was me
He PLEADED for me to confess to his parents
Did I?
Did I fu(k.
To this day, I still deny it to his face and his parents,
and as for the ugly bird. Rob put her in a taxi, which cost him the best part of £20

So Rob, I confess it was me, and to the Welsh bird - jesus you were ugly.

[WalterPill]

and it is a pig. It's welsh, it's fat and it has a fu(king HUGE birthmark on it's face.

You say it like it being a welsh was another bad thing.

[Thrush]

The only thing worst than welsh is Ginger....

[WalterPill]

Hilarious. Well done.

[Thrush]

are you pissed off because you have to stay up for the fight?

[WalterPill]

I'm a little pissed off yes about that seeing as I'm actually in a timezone that's also 6 hours ahead and I can't sleep but also that needless comment by the thread starter. What difference does her nationality make? Really? Substitute 'welsh ' for 'pakistani' and then what do you have? It's fucking moronic is what it is.

[Thrush]

ah come on mate!

Want a naked man wrestle hug?

[WalterPill]

Or for that matter imagine the thread starter was welsh and he said 'and it is a pig. It's english, it's fat and it has a fu(king HUGE birthmark on it's face.'

How would that play?

[Thrush]

op can you say sorry to walter, he is really upset now!

[WalterPill]

Not upset, just mystified as to how retarded some people can be.

[Thrush]

[Nibb]

Not upset, just mystified as to how retarded some people can be.

I just let it go over my head now m8!

[Over Carl]

I don't think most of those type posts are serious. I've done a few and never really mean't anything malicious.

[B B Leo]

just read through the whole posat with tears rolling down my eyes

[flumperino]

lol...WP has a point!

If the OP said she's a munter and a paki, then people would have gone apeshit!

[WalterPill]

I just let it go over my head now m8!

Why would you want to do that? The thread starter's tone was hardly in jest and like I said, substitute 'welsh' for 'pakistani' and it's a whole different matter altogether. It was meant in a derogatory manner, end of and why should the place where your parents fucked and dropped you into this world make any difference to who you are in relation to other UK countries? If I clock something moronic I'm just going to call it moronic. A joke is a joke is a joke. That wasn't one.

[Nibb]

Why would you want to do that? The thread starter's tone was hardly in jest and like I said, substitute 'welsh' for 'pakistani' and it's a whole different matter altogether. It was meant in a derogatory manner, end of and why should the place where your parents fu(ked and dropped you into this world make any difference to who you are in relation to other UK countries? If I clock something moronic I'm just going to call it moronic. A joke is a joke is a joke. That wasn't one.

Fair enough...but lifes too short IMO!

[Anonymous]

Wow!
Didn't realise this would upset people.
I was only setting the scene, the fact that she was welsh was immaterial really, What was important was how ugly she was.

Sorry Walter

[WalterPill]

Yes, immaterial. Another triumph for common sense.

[WalterPill]

A good post otherwise by the way. Thanks for sharing like.