The 100 Greatest Gervais/ Merchant/ Pilkington Moments!
Pilkipedia's 100 greatest RSK Moments
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[edit] Introduction
Karl Pilkington
Pilkipedia's 100 Greatest RSK Moments is list voted by the members of Pilkipedia. Members were invited to submit their favourite moments from The Ricky Gervais radio shows and Podcasts. Each member's votes were in order starting with their favourite moment. A point system was used to compile the list so that their favourite moment got 20 points, second favourite got 19 points, etc.
44 members contributed to the list and 260 seperate moments were nominated.
'The list can be discussed in the following thread where you can also see the original votes: Thread
[edit] The List
1. Horse In The House - 06 April 2002
"Must've nicked it from somewhere."
2. Karl's Diary: Mr K. Dilkington - Podcast S01E10
"Dear Mr K. Dilkington, You are one of our most valuable customers."
3. Man-Moths? - 24 August 2002
"And he's just bumping into a lamp"
4. Forrest Gump in a Wheelie Bin - 13 April 2002
"He took the one out that was causing problems and put it in a wheelie bin"
5. Steve in Rio - Podcast S02E02
"Not with your glasses off and your knob out."
6. Dr Frog - 26 April 2003
"Ribbit, ribbit, Froggy says buy it."
7. Karl celebrates beating Ricky with his lateral thinking puzzle. - 20 April 2002
"I love the fact that Karl went a little bit mental then"
8. Only Fools and Horses Impressions - 25 January 2003
"Rodney you Plonker!"
9. Karl Disses Steve: Men in Black 2 - 08 March 2003
"He Could Be Your Brother"
10. Karl swears at an Octopus - Podcast S02E06
"I'd kick it, and I'd say 'You knob-head' "
11. The Fire, The Wife and the Cat - 24 August 2002
"A fire that didn't happen, about a wife that didn't exist and a cat that didn't look happy."
12. A Love of Two Brains - Fame Souvenir Program Podcast
"Who the fuck is Clive Warren?!"
13. Monkey News: Alfred the Monkey foils bank robbery - 12 April 2003
"Then the monkey starts backing out with the gun and the money."
14. Ho-Lee Fuk and Camp David - 26 April 2003
"Ding Dong! Hang on, who's this?"
15. Vera The Pig - 19 January 2002
"Suddenly out of the darkness they come back holding a Vietnamese pot-bellied pig"
16. That'll be interesting for meatballs - 06 April 2002
"Sainsbury’s are bringing in square tins . . ."
17. Fucking socks in rubber cunting bags - Podcast - Bonus Disc
"I know! You were packing fucking socks in a rubber cunting bag!"
18. Karl in a Film: Kes - 08 November 2003
"I mean on Saturday he did it again he squoze me head. "
19. Shadow Causing Problems - 06 April 2002
"It was pushing people off their bikes."
20. Karl showing a bit of arse to the woman opposite - 16 August 2003
"What's up with you Suzanne?!"
21. Wonderful Tonight Interpretation - 25 June 2005
"It's time to go home now and I've got an aching [LEG]"
22. Songs of Phrase #2 - 22 March 2003
"You never see an old man eat a Maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaars Bar Bar Bar"
23. She had a problem with her marrow - 29 November 2003
"What’s the point in spending time with her, spending money on her and stuff if she’s gonna die on me."
24. Siamese lad" who got run over - 31 May 2003
"Why didn't he just look both ways"
25. Karl's Impressions - 20 April 2002
"My name's Bond, James Bond"
26. Hippopota-nuse - 16 November 2002
"There's a hippo just sat next to the trampoline, getting ready to do his act"
27. Karl in a Film: A Christmas Carol - 13 December 2003
"Garlic bread?"
28. If it's all about arse, why don't gays like a little bit of tit? - 10 January 2004
"If you're an anthropologist or a psychologist, a doctor, a gay, please call in"
29. Elvis faking his own death - 23 February 2002
"There has to be shit involved"
30. Foodage - Podcast S03E04
"Whether it's a potato or a nut, it's a foodage."
31. New Features: Strike It Ricky, The Rice Is Right, Fifteen Taiwan, Big Mother - 12 October 2002
"You call in, if your mum's heavy you win a CD."
32. Manhole cover on a nuclear bomb - 24 August 2002
"Never saw the manhole cover again."
33. People to start a new world - The Podfather Part 2 - Thanksgiving
"You've got two men so far that have got a combined age of 150."
34. Karl's First Poem - Podcast S03E01
"If moths had eyes, would they be happier? How do they know they're not dead?"
35. Steve and the girl on the train - 30 March 2002
"I'm not even going to waste my time with you, love"
36. Knob at Night - Podcast S01E03
"I could eat a knob at night"
37. Cat Food - 13 April 2002
"it stinks a bit, but, if you don’t put up with the smell, the little kitten will die"
38. A dog has got human eyes - Podcast S03E03
"If a jellyfish had a pair of eyes like ours, I probably wouldn't worry about them that much"
39. Christ, de berg! - 21 June 2003
"If there was a Jamaican fella on the Titanic, he might have screamed this"
40. Man - Woman - Man - 08 November 2003
"Well he wakes in the morning, and pleases himself. He can’t believe his luck."
41. Monkey News: Oliver the Humanzee - 18 January 2003
"Gets a bit out of hand, only tries it one with the zookeeper's wife."
42. It was like a split tennis ball - 15 March 2003
"She did a bit of a Sharon Stone scene."
43. Fat baby on telly - 04 June 2005
"Fat baby, fat baby, fat baby, fat baby on telly, fat baby on telly."
44. Auntie Nora had wind for 5 minutes - 12 October 2002
"Two and a half minutes in she phoned me mam up and it went on for a further two and a half minutes."
45. The first Cheap as Chimps - 15 March 2003
"So, it's pretty cheap to have a chimp."
46. It's not his volt - 26 October 2002
"The electric in his body made him jump out the bath."
47. Karl gets angry at Legless Swimmers - Podcast Series 5
"People with no legs who want to be swimmers: DON'T BE STUPID!"
48. Fangs but no fangs - 22 November 2003
"Pithy? No, in this situation no. He cuts himself, he drinks blood, he's left me."
49. Monkey News: Monkey on a tricycle - 26 July 2003
"Now the owner of the chimp wants to enter it into the Tour De France."
50. Karl types in "Why" to confuse a computer - 09 November 2002
"I think I put in "why" to see if I would confuse the computer."
51. Alien Gives Man A Beard - 12 October 2002
"Never mind your beard! Where've you been for three days."
52. Have you ever seen a bald pet? - 11 January 2003
"It's weird."
53.You never see an old man eating a Twix - 09 November 2002
"The old man, I'm sure when he was a kid he'd have a twix, but now it doesn't look right."
54. A bit of weird art - Podcast S03E04
"an upright lizard being given electro-shock treatment."
55. Look I've had a baby - 07 September 2002
"It is a real baby! Why do you hate me!."
56. Webbage
"Floating around on a bit of webbage."
57. Ricky gives his spin on Urban Legends - 27 April 2002
"Shall I wrap them? Them? It. It, shall I wrap? Just wrap, whatever it is."
58. Monkey News: Number 86 drives to Spain - 31 May 2003
"The monkey's giving it some, went over to Spain on his own."
59. Karl checks out a man's privates - Podcast S01E02
"karltakesasneakylookatmenscocks.com"
60. Karl fights over Zoe Harris - Podcast S01E11
"This is like something from Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels."
61. His skull fell off - Podcast S03E05
"What do you mean his skull fell off?"
62. History of the baguette - 12 January 2002
"Let’s make some bread that you can fit down your trouser leg"
63. Karl disses Steve about money - 21 June 2003
"The only reason you don't go on holiday is because you have to spend money"
64.Kids with big heads and webbed hands - 16 February 2002
"You're not confusing your past with an old episode of Dr Who are you?"
65. Just let them play Swingball - 19 July 2003
"There wasn't a rally going on."
66. Wendy's Critique - Podcast S03E04
"Alright then, well we'll watch Wendy's little programme when that goes out.."
67. How Does Chinese Work? - 26 July 2003
"When it's written down it basically looks like, kind of, little children's drawings of those little paper houses that Chinese people live in."
68. Karl in a Film: Planet of the Apes - 03 January 2004
"Jesus, It's a Talking Monkey "
69. Cyclop is a Disability - 04 June 2005
"You're mixing history with Greek mythology."
70. His brain loves plumb . . . plumbing. - Podcast Series 5
"We don't have enough plumbers. There's enough plumber's brains."
71. Karl's Diary - Gran Canaria - Podcast S01E08
"Everyone sat and watched one of the local cats lick its bollocks."
72. Infinite Monkey Theorem - 08 February 2003
"This one's come close, he did Romeo and Juliop."
73. Record Breaking with Burgers and Grapes - 05 April 2003
"I can't! I physically can't! Look... I'd have to be Jade Goody to get that in there!"
74. Karl Wrestles a Down's Syndrome lad - 18 June 2005
"You're muscly."
75. Polar Bear's Skin - 26 January 2002
"Ooo... not bright stuff, Rick. You've embarrassed yourself! Play a record!"
76. Karl Disses Steve About Women - 10 November 2001
"Do you ever worry that when you're old, you'll be on your own"
77. Jesus Sex Scene - 29 March 2003
"Couldn't they just scale it back a bit and, like, show the little stable door closing?"
78. Ricky's Go Kart - 24 November 2001
"He swapped it for a wheelbarrow"
79. Gay chat - 15 November 2003
"The best bum in W1"
80. Did I tell you about the immune system? - Podcast - Bonus Disc
"Not now"
81. Chinamanwoman - 26 July 2003
"Someone born in Chinaland. A Chinaman or a Chinamanwomen."
82. Rickys teacher going mad - 12 July 2003
"I'm glad you think it's funny Mr Gervais!"
83. Rockbusters: Soft Cell - 10 January 2004
"Fussed has made an appearance"
84. Half Man Half Biscuit - 06 December 2003
"He could never go swimming"
85. Make Ricky Gervais Laugh - 06 April 2002
"Michael Stipe . . . looking like I dunno some sort of Nazi officer"
86. Failed Podcast Intro - Podcast S01E03
"Fuck Me"
87. Ron Merchant Buys a Gold Bracelet - 03 January 2004
"Look at the gleam on that"
88. Shed Seven Spilt Up - 01 November 2003
"You are joking!"
89. Getting Karl's Brain to Scotland - 19 October 2002
"You feel confident your brain could fit in that of a flea's?"
90. Room 102 - 04 May 2002
"At the end of the day love, you're stuck with these ankles"
91. Karl's Missing Ram Pack - 30 December 2005
"I actually started to be sick with frustration"
92. Clippable Mat - Podcast S03E04
"What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?"
93. Steve and the Balloon at New Year's Eve - 12 January 2002
"We've arranged to meet back at you "
94. Ricky Pisses on Jane - 08 December 2001
"I got up in the middle of the night, walked round the bed and just thought the bed was a toilet."
95. Steve uses the word "buxom" - 26 July 2003
"Are you from the West Country?"
96. Ricky Swallowed some Dust - 31 August 2002
"I don't know the Heimlich manoeuvre!"
97. Karl Chooses Invisibility as his Super Power - Podcast S01E04
"You want to sneak into HMV, wait for 12 hours and then buy something."
98. Monkey News: Monkey in Space - Podcast S01E01
"Hit the left button."
99. Karl gets Distracted.
"Whatever. I don't know what we were talkin' about there."
100. Dennis Norden Impressions - 22 December 2001
"Why didn't you let my son take over, or something? Well, Dennis, he's 84..."
A bit long but comedy gold!
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Re: The 100 Greatest Gervais/ Merchant/ Pilkington Moments!
. What exactly is so funny about his observations??
Originally Posted by johnny
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