Ive bought my epileptic brother a strobe light for christmas.

Hes gonna have a fit when he sees it.


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My friend likes to describe himself as an 'old romantic'.

We like to describe him as a granny fucker.

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Police have finally admitted they got it wrong in the shooting of Jean Charles de Menez.

It was his naughty brother Dennis they were after.

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The other day a bloke offered me a go on his ice rink for 10p.

I thought, "What a fucking cheap skate."