Useful Girlfriend Tip.

[brumbino]

When you're going out with someone, just after they go to sleep at night, put a nicotine patch on their arm. Then, just before they wake up in the morning, take it off again.

This way, if they ever leave you, they'll get withdrawal symptoms, think it's love, and come back.

[beerman]

They'll also be ratty as fuck during daylight hours not realising they need a nicotine fix.

[CzarJunkie]

This way, if they ever leave you, they'll get withdrawal symptoms, think it's love, and come back.

Better still, if they leave you, bombard them with late night phone calls, txt messages and go through their bins looking for hair or any other bodily debris that can be added to the little shrine you've built on her side of the bed. Send her pictures of the shrine with you lying naked beside it, gently weeping into one of her socks that you stole from her house while she was at her mothers.

[ka$h]

gently weeping into one of her socks that you stole from her house while she was at her mothers.

That's not an image I wanted in my head thanks.....

[brumbino]

Better still, if they leave you, bombard them with late night phone calls, txt messages and go through their bins looking for hair or any other bodily debris that can be added to the little shrine you've built on her side of the bed. Send her pictures of the shrine with you lying naked beside it, gently weeping into one of her socks that you stole from her house while she was at her mothers.

You fucking scare me sometimes.

[RSV]

When you're going out with someone, just after they go to sleep at night, put a nicotine patch on their arm. Then, just before they wake up in the morning, take it off again.

This way, if they ever leave you, they'll get withdrawal symptoms, think it's love, and come back.

Heroin is probobally cheaper than expensive nicotine patches and would probobally have a better effect

[DJ OD]

Right, so get with a girl you want to stay with and give her an addiction!

Like there isn't enough scag heads and moody wannabe non-smokers in the UK, you all want to go out with one...

I'll stick to alcoholics and fat birds I think...


DJ OD

[CzarJunkie]

Heroin is probobally cheaper than expensive nicotine patches and would probobally have a better effect

Thats an idea they haven't come up with yet, a Heroin patch. Think of the reduction is aids cases and hepatitis C if smackheads didn't have to use needles. I can feel a 'patent pending' coming on.........think I'll call it 'CJ's Brown Patch'

[C3Grimmy]

I'll stick to alcoholics and fat birds I think...


DJ OD

this has so far worked well for me to

[God is a DJ]

If, on the other hand you're looking for an excuse to dump a girl, every time you make her food or a cup of tea, dump a couple of teaspoons of that muscle gain powder u get from bodybuilding shops in it. She'l get fat something chronic nd then you can dump her saying u dnt like the chubby ones.

DJ

[Erad]

Thats an idea they haven't come up with yet, a Heroin patch. Think of the reduction is aids cases and hepatitis C if smackheads didn't have to use needles. I can feel a 'patent pending' coming on.........think I'll call it 'CJ's Brown Patch'

I think CJ's Brown Patch has been used for years now, especially after a night out with the boys.

[super mike]

They'll also be ratty as fuck during daylight hours , as they're female.

Edited for accuracy.

[tombott]

Better still, if they leave you, bombard them with late night phone calls, txt messages and go through their bins looking for hair or any other bodily debris that can be added to the little shrine you've built on her side of the bed. Send her pictures of the shrine with you lying naked beside it, gently weeping into one of her socks that you stole from her house while she was at her mothers.

Smart cookies plan ahead.
I've been collecting skin, hair and faeces from my wife for a few years now.
So when she does finally leave me I'll be in position to either clone her or make some sort of fuck suit out of all the bits.

[CzarJunkie]

Smart cookies plan ahead.
I've been collecting skin, hair and faeces from my wife for a few years now.
So when she does finally leave me I'll be in position to either clone her or make some sort of fuck suit out of all the bits.

You know I've always had a thing for goat girl, so when you finally decide to move on I'll happily take whatever collection you've amassed.

[tombott]

You know I've always had a thing for goat girl, so when you finally decide to move on I'll happily take whatever collection you've amassed.

Change your name to Peter or Klaus, get yourself some lader-housen and you'll be in there mate.