The Crank Number 07592925650

[flanflinger]

I have put this number on facebook to recieve jokes and random texts on... heres a few of the jokes recieved...

"I bought some steroids, but they have some bad side effects. I've grown an extra penis"
"Anabolic?"
"No, just a penis"


Michael Jackson has just announced his UK tour dates. They are Joe age 5, Bob age 4, Dave age 5, Colin age 6 and Andy age 4.




This bloke is flying his hot air balloon over southern Ireland and he is completely lost. He looks down and sees a bloke fishing on a lake, so he shouts down, "hello, could you please tell me where I am?"
And Paddy shouts up, "you can't fool me, mister, you're in that fuckin' basket."


Great news! I have finally found a pr0stitute who charges by the inch. Obviously i can't afford her, but i thought it might be a cheap night out for you!


Ferrari's F1 team manager decided 2 employ some Scouse teenagers as their new pit crew.This was because of their renowned skill when removing car wheels quickly.At the 1st practice session,not only did they change all 4 wheels in 6 seconds but,within 12 seconds,they had re-sprayed, re-badged and sold the fucker 2 the McLaren team for 8 cases of Stella, a bag of weed and some pictures of Hamilton's bird gettin shagged up the arse.


Paddy n Mick at morgue to identify Shamus's body thats been badly burnt. Paddy goes first turns the body over looks at his bum & says thats not him. Mick goes next, turns the body over looks at the bum & says you're right Paddy. Doc says how do you know its not him? Mick says cause when we all used to go out, folk would say here comes Shamus with the two arseholes!


2 gays in car on M1,a lorry shunts them from the back.The gay passenger furiously gets out of the car,goes straight 2 the truckers door flings it open hands on hips,& shouts at the trucker"I'm gonna sue ur ass."The trucker replies"Suck my dick."Gay rushes back 2 the car & says 2 his friend."I've settled out of court."


Grandaughter comes in with see thru blouse on. ' you cant go out like that' says Gran. 'Its the fashion to show ur rosebuds' says girl. She comes in later to find gran sitting topless.'What r u doing?says girl. Gran replys 'If u can show ur rosebuds I can show my hanging baskets!


A poem for those affected by the credit crunch, There was a young man called dave, who dug up a pr0stitutes grave. She was mouldy and shitty, with only one titty. But look at the money he saved


New sex drug on the market. It's called viazac. Half viagra, half prozac.Its fantastic- if you don't get a fuck, you don't give a fuck.


Women are like parking spaces. Sometimes, all the good ones are taken, so when no fucker's looking, you have to stick it into a handicapped one.


Irish girl asked doctor for the pill doc says ur already 6 months pregnant irish girl says i know but Paddy has found another hole and i don't want a hump on my back!!


I'm about 3 years into my relationship now and started having erection difficulties. My girlfriend and i have different ideas what the problem is: she bought me some viagra; i.ve bought the fat cunt a treadmill.


A 93 year old man's sat on the curb cryingPasserby asks "whats up?"The old man moans "I'm 93,married to a 21 year old who wants sex twice before breakfast and lunch, once before tea and twice again at night!"Passerby says "whats the problem?"The old man replies "I can't fucking remember where I live!"ast and lunch, once before tea and twice again at night!"Passerby says "whats the problem?"The old man replies "I can't fucking remember where I live!"


Two cowboys are talking about sex.one says:i like the rodeo postion best.i havent heard of that one says the other.what is it get ur girlfriend on all fours and cup her breasts in your hand.whisper in her ear these feel just like your sister's.then try 2 hold on for 8 seconds.


Comic relief is launched 2day. I keep hearing about africans who live in mud huts and hav 2 walk 5hrs each day for water. Is it just me or would u move the fuckin huts closer 2 the water?


Little girl finds her dog dead with its legs in the air and asks her dad why its like that. Dad says its died and is like that so Jesus can pick it up and take it to heaven. Next day she says"dad, mum nearly died today. She was on her back with her legs in the air shouting oh Jesus, i'm coming i'm coming and if the window cleaner hadn't been holding her down we'd have lost her!


Glaswegian pilot and co-pilot : after landing at Glasgow airport forget to turn off the main intercom , co-pilot says to pilot . What you doing later ? Pilot says . First thing im going to do is go for a big shite then am gonnie shag the arse aff that wee stewardess ! Stewardess hears this and runs to the cockpit to confront him . She trips over a wee auld wummins feet who helps her back up n says - '' Take yer time hen , he's gon fur a shite first ! ''


Wife walks in2 bedroom and says, tonight Im gonna make u the happiest man alive, Man replies: Dont fuck about, whos gonna help you pack at this time of night?


Wife walks in2 bedroom and says, tonight Im gonna make u the happiest man alive, Man replies: Dont fuck about, whos gonna help you pack at this time of night?


NEWSFLASH.... Police in Greater Manchester have arrested 11 men from Liverpool in connection with a vicious beating that occured in the City on Saturday between the hours of 12.45 & 2.30! They are appealing to 75,569 witnesses to come forward, though it is believed that only a small portion viewed the entire event. Contact GM. Police on 0141 4-1 4-1 4-1.


Police just left a message on Fergusons answer phone asking whether he is missing his dog. Could they ring the station on 0800 1-0,1-2,1-3,1-4. Apparently he cant keep hold of a lead.


Good news following the shootings in germany.there will be 16 free sun loungers this summer


Life before Computers:
Memory was something you lost with age,
An application was for employment,
A programme was a show on TV,
A cursor was someone who swears a lot,
A keyboard was a piano,
A web was a spiders home,
A virus was the flu,
A hard drive was a long trip down the motorway,
A mouse pad was where a mouse lived,
And if you had a 3-inch floppy...well you just hoped and prayed no bastard found out.


Bloke on holiday in Amsterdam, goes into a brothel and asks for the fattest, ugliest girl they have, with the saggiest tits and a fanny like a ripped out fireplace. The Madam said,"Are we feeling kinky tonight, sir." He replied,"No, I'm from Manchester and I'm feeling homesick!"

Paddy says 'Doctor I have a sore arse' Doctor bends him over and finds a wad of money up there. 'How much was up there?' asks Paddy. The doc replies '£1900'. 'Sounds about right' replies Paddy. 'I knew i didn't feel too grand'

A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"this is the pig i have to shag when you're not up for sex". His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep" He says: "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"


Harley davidson died and went to heaven and was boasting 2 God how he'd created the best motor bike in the world! God disagreed, saying BMW's were a better designed bike! Harley said "What the fuck do you know about design. You created woman and look at the problems we have with them! "Ahem, " says God "I think you'll find a lot more men are riding my fucking creation than yours!"


The police apologised to Anichebe after stopping him for acting suspiciously in a jewellers. They thought it was unusual to see an Everton player looking at silverware.

After 20 yrs of sex in the dark, a wife finds out her husband always used a dildo on her! She said "Explain the dildo Prick". He said "Explain the kids bitch!

How many men does it take to open a beer? . . . None. It should be opened when she brings it in.


How are fat girls and mopeds alike? . . . They're both fun to ride until your mates find out.

WOT DO U CALL A WOMAN WHO KNOWS WHERE HER HUSBAND IS EVERY NITE ? ..... ' A WIDOW '.... !!

Sex life is like the lottery - same old balls, no chance of a 69 & ends in a fuckin' rollover!


The day I stop being there for you is the day I close my eyes forever. If I don't get this back I understand. send to 7 Real friends :-* x


Paddy asks Murphy 'Why do scuba divers fall off their boats backwards?' to which Murphy replies 'You thick twat Paddy, if they fell forwards they'd still be on the fucking boat!'

I was just standing in a queue at the Abby Bank and the woman in front was overweight with a huge fat arse when her pager starts to beep! little kid behind her says for fuck sake run 'its reversing '.

[flanflinger]

Bloke goes into a S&M club and asks: How much for Humiliation?The Madam tells him £40.What do i get for that? She replies: A manchester united Shirt!


My ma has just give me the third degree as she found a lion and a witch in the bottom of my wardrobe. She wanted to know what was going on but i told her 'it's Narnia business!'


Little Essex girl comes home from school announces to mum 'I know where babies come from.' Amused, mum replies 'Where sweetie? The girl explained 'Well the mummy an daddy take off all their clothes an daddys thingy sort of stands up, and mummy puts it in her mouth an it sort of explodes, an thats how you get babies.' Shaking her head, mum replied 'Oh darling thats sweet, but thats not how u get babies - thats how u get jewellery


"Give it here!"
"No, its mine!"
"Let me have it"
"It's my turn"
"U had it last"
"Fuck off!"
"Come on gimme it."
"No way!"

.. Siamese twins havin a wank!


A good person?
That's you!
Good friend?
That's you again
Good laugh
That's you
Good humour
That's also you
Good looking?
Hahaaa
FUCK OFF , that's me!


WHERE WOULD U B? If u had all the money ur heart desires? If u had no worries? If u came home & the finest meal was waitin 4u? If the bath had been run 4u? If u had the perfect kids? If ur partner was waitin 4u with open arms & kisses? So where would u b? HELLO!!! U WOULD B IN THE WRONG FUCKIN HOUSE!


My partner asked me this morning where l was taking her this weekend, apparently 'up the a**e' isn't an acceptable answer!!


A 78yr old woman was steppin out of the bath & got a pain in her chest. She thought 2 herself im havin a heartattack til she noticed she was standin on her tit!


At a public stment josef fritzel spoke for the first time stating thank fuck i dont support man.utd.

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A husband and wife are in bed when there is a knock at the door. The husband rolls over and looks at his clock. It's 3:30 a.m. He drags himself out of bed and goes downstairs.
When he opens the door, there is a drunk slumped there. "Hi ya," slurs the stranger. "Can you give me a push?"
"Get lost," says the man. "It's half-past three."
He slams the door and goes back up to bed. He tells his wife about the drunk. She says, "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke down in the pouring rain and you had to knock on that man's door? What would've happened if he'd told us to get lost?"
So, the husband gets back out of bed and goes downstairs. He opens the door and calls out, "Hey, do you still want a push?" A voice answers, "Yes, please."
"Where are you?" calls the man.
The stranger replies, "I'm over here on the swings."


Manchester utd have just revealed next years sponsor will be tampax.A spokesman for tampax said man u fit our profile 'a load of twats goin threw a bad period!


Young man walking along pier sees an old man with his shoes off, trousers rolled up, legs dangling in the water & fishing with an imaginary rod! Puzzled,(.....) pew son." he sits down, casts out an imaginary rod & says "so, how many twat's have u caught so far?" old guy says "ur the 3rd this morning!"...


2 muslims leave Pakistan 4 liverpool. They agree 2meet 2yrs later 2c whos become the more scouse. 2yrs pass and they meet up. 1st one says " I support the reds, I drink carlsberg.I hav a staffie &play sunday league footy. I Wear rockport, a laccoste shell suit and a berghaus . So How scouse hav u become laa?" 2nd one replies "FUCK OFF U PAKI BASTARD!"


Paddy goes to the Doctors & explains,''Wherever I touch my body it hurts !'' He proceeds to poke himself all over... Leg, arm, torso, face... Screaming in pain each time he does. ''Wots wrong with me Doctor ?'' Paddy pleads... Doctor replies, ''You've broken your finger you stupid bastard !''


What do you call a black man flying a plane?
A pilot you racist bastard...


Paddy with 2 burnt ears went 2 the docs who asked,"What happened?" "The phone rang and I accidently picked up the iron" "What happened to the other one?" Paddy said "the Bastards called back!"


Whats the difference between a cricket ball and a pikeys fanny?
If you try really really hard... I mean really fucking hard... You can eat a cricket ball.


Congratulations from sweetshop.co.uk! You have won the weight of your brain in sweets. To claim your Tic-Tac, please go to thickasfuck.co.uk


New survey jus cum out. Average penis sizes,english men 6 inch,irish men 5 inch,
German men 7 inch, icelandic men 11 inch.
That's the real reason mums go to iceland!


FAMILY OF pr0stituteS HAVIN DINNER
Daughter says "I just got £50 for givin a BJ"
Mum says "ur lucky luv in my day it was £5"
Gran says "Durin the war we wer just glad of the warm drink"


what did jesus say as he was nailed to the cross? "Keep yer hands off me ester eggs I'll be back on friday"


I've decided I don't like stealing. I tried it in Starbucks earlier with a strangers drink. It wasn't my cup of tea.


A man walks into a restaurant and asks if they do Giraffe and Chips.
The waiter says "I'll see what I can do, but it's a bit of a tall order."


Essex girl & boy are playing hide & seek.
girl sends boy a text.
"If you find me,
you can lick my pussy, play with my tits & fuck me up the arse,
If you can't,
I'm in the shed"


The other day a bloke said to me 'You have to make the little things count'...
Turns out he just wanted to teach dwarves arithmetic.


Hi. Im in the hospital. Don't panic though, I've poisoned myself. I ate what i thought was an onion but it was a daffodil bulb. I'll be out in the spring..!


LONELY HEARTS ADS
What they really mean:

ADVENTUROUS = Slut
ATHLETIC = No tits
30 SOMETHING = 41
FUN = Annoying
WILD = Gets pissed easily
BEAUTIFUL EYES = Face like a robber's dog
SEEKS KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOUR = Ex-Husbands a fucking nutter
NEW-AGE = Hairy with a smelly fanny
HEADSTRONG = Argumentative
ENJOYS PUBBING & CLUBBING = Alcoholic
CURVY = Fat cunt
CUDDLY = Fat cunt
LIKES EATING OUT = Greedy fat cunt
LIKES NIGHTS IN = Lazy fat cunt


Why are women born with 2 pairs of lips?
The top pair are used for arguing and the bottom pair are used for apologising..!


I said to my neighbour that he's like marmite. He said what you either love me or hate me? I said no, you're thick and you fuckin stink.


Two married men are out drinking. One says to the other "I can never sneak into my house after I've been out drinking. No matter how careful I am my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out late." His friend replies "Do what I do. Screech into the drive, slam the door, storm up the stairs, jump into bed, slap my wife's arse and say how about a blowjob? She always pretends she's asleep."


I went up to a bird in a bar the other night and thinking i was being dead smooth said "Is that a ladder in your stocking or is it a stairway to heaven ?"
She immediately replied "Yeah it is a stairway to heaven, but i've already got a cunt up there, so fuck off!"


Mate ur in luck!! Walls ice cream has just released their new ice lolly for 2009, and its window flavoured.


Just watched my first Beastiality movie last night...
Fuck me.... my cock looks big in a chicken !!!


This is a story bout 4 people named Everycunt, Sumothercunt, Anycunt & Nocunt. One day there was a job that needed doing & Sumothercunt was asked to do it, Everycunt was sure Sumothercunt would do it, but Nocunt did it. Everycunt got angry coz it was Sumothercunt's job. Nocunt didnt realise that Anycunt could have done it. It ended up with Everycunt blamin Sumothercunt & Nocunt doing what Anycunt could have done. I think I work with these cunts


Scientists have revealed 2day that they hav found a new drug for depressed lesbians. Its called: TRYDIXAGAIN.


They reckon that beer contains female hormones. they might be right cos after 18 pints i talk shite and cant fuckin drive!


Recession Beater! Wife says to husband - 'if you cycle to work we could get rid of the 2nd car!' Husband replies, 'if you take it up the arse we can get rid of the nanny!


Rolf harris has done the artwork for Micheal Jacksons gigs at the o2 arena.As a thank you Jacko will be doing two little boys and the end of every show


Why do women have babies?
Because it hurts and they deserve it.



6ft 4in man in toilet looks to his left & sees a little man peeing out of a huge penis. He says "That's the biggest cock I've ever seen"
The other man says "Oh I'm a leprechan & we all have big ones"
Tall man says "Wish I had 1 like that"
Leprechan says "I'll grant ya that wish if ya let me screw ya 1st"
Man reluctantly agrees.
Leprechan humps away for ages, then asks "How old are ya?"
Man says "36"
"Imagine that, 36 & still believes in leprechans"


Why did the good Lord give women thrush?........ To teach them how 2 live with an irritating twat before they actually marry one!


Lady goes into a hardware store looking for a hinge. The man says "do you wanna screw for the hinge?" she says "no, but l'll suck your knob for that toaster."


Ronaldo in critical condition after being stabbed early hrs this morning......
Carlsberg dont make April fools but if they did it would be best April fools ever!


Inner peace - i'm passing this txt on 2u because it worked 4me. I have found inner peace. The way 2do this is 2finish the things u start. I looked around the house this afternoon & i saw all the things i had failed 2finish. So i finished them... The vodka, the bailey's, some rose wine, bit of blow a line or nine of coke a few handfuls of temazepam . U have no fucking idea how peaceful i feel now! Please pass this on 2 anyone u think might need it .


To the tune of the adams family... Your mother is your sister, your grandad came and kissed her, he says he cant resist her, the fritzl family... Your sister is your mother, your son he is your brother, you all fuck one another, the fritzl family


Why did god give women orgasms?
So they can moan when theyre having a good time too


This Maths test can predict your all time most watched film. Try it without looking at answers.
Pick a number from 1-9 ,
then multiply by 3,
then add 3 then multiply by 3 again.
You'll get your answer
add the 2 digits together to find your all time film, it
must be:
1. Gone with the wind
2. Aliens
3. Oliver
4. Star wars
5. Forrest gump
6. Saving private ryan
7. Jaws
8. Grease
9. Gay midgets,do it doggy
10. Mary poppins
__________________________


Broke my record last night for continual sex, 1 hour and 2 mins, then realised the fucking clocks had gone forward!

3 woman in a cafe. 1st woman sez ' im havin a boob job', 2nd woman sez 'im havin my twat bleached', 3rd woman sez i cnt imagine ur husband with blonde hair!!!

Little Julie gets her first period. Uncomfortable with talking to her parents she decides to ask little Johnny. So she whips up her skirt and shows him her bleeding fanny. Johnny scratches his chin and finally says, l'm no expert but it looks like someone's ripped your bollocks off!

[wadgey]

some nice ones. cheers

[blaggard]

Not bad at a quid a joke!

[flanflinger]

Not bad at a quid a joke!

you cheeky fecker! thats my own o2 number... I published the number so people can send randomness

[blaggard]

you cheeky fecker! thats my own o2 number... I published the number so people can send randomness

Ahhh, I thought it was some new BT service, my bad!

[flanflinger]

I know what ya thought it was dude ... lol ... am the mingyest person on the plannet why pay for jokes when you can get them sent for free... there is one problem though... the amount of mongs I get calling who just put the phone down and dont leave me a message so I can rip to audio and publish...

[rIKmAN]

Hahah cool idea, I like it

[C3Grimmy]

thanks that had me Giggling

[GTI]

rip to audio and publish...

Are you seriously running voice messages through a speech recognition program?

I'm impressed

[jaguar982]

Yep like some of them cheers

jag

[koola2]

thats my own o2 number... I published the number so people can send randomness

Excellent Idea

[flanflinger]

on the page did say give the number out to uglies when your on the pish and when they leave a message I will publish... however no one has had the balls to leave a message lol...

[thereaslimshady]

some very good ones in that lot

cheers

[flanflinger]

A Man is sitting reading the paper when wife hits him across the head. He says, "What's that for?" She says, "I've found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Mary Ellen' on it!" Quick as a flash he replies,"Thats the name of a horse from the races last week!" Which she accepts. A Week later she hits him over the head with a frying pan! He says, "What the fuck was that for?" She replies, "Your fucking horse phoned!"


Cops stop a Asian guy in a transit van on motorway.Cop says , 'You know the limit is 70'? Asian gent looks behind and says, 'Hear that, 3 of you will have to get out!


A feminist visits Kabul just after the fall of the Taliban & is not pleased to find that women must walk 5 paces behind the men. A year later she returns & is delighted to find that men must now walk 5 paces behind women. She asked the interpreter "what brought about the change?" He replied "land mines!"


7 year old says 2 mummy, why did Jade Goody die ? Mum says she had cancer and she was a fat, ugly, foul mouthed horrible nerd, kid says, mum has Wayne Rooney got cancer ?


My girlfriend says I'm not very considerate whilst having sex!
I don't see how, I've never woken her up. :0)


Tiger Woods is just about to make a putt on what has been an average hole for him at Wentworth.
As he is about to take his shot, his caddy comes darting up and says
"Tiger, I've got some really bad news bro. It's your Dad. He's just dropped dead in the club house"
Woods stays in his stance, wipes a tear from his eye and goes
"This one's for Pa


Q: What do you call Israeli twins?
A: Jewplicates.


Just went on EBAY lookin 4 a Dictaphone
...........
They gave me this number!


2 women talking. Do u look at ur husbands face when u make love?
I did once and saw anger in his face.
Why anger?
Because he was watching from the window.


I found out recently that my gran made a porno film.
I dunno what disgusted me more, the fact she made it or the fact I carried on wanking after I recognised her.


A man is cupping his hand to scoop water from a mountain stream above Ballymoney, when the farmer shouts " hi mucker dinnae drink thon wator, its ful o' muck cowse shite n pish. The man replies " my good man I am English, kindly speak the Queens English ! The farmer replies " use both hands old boy u get more water that way"


How do you know if you're at a gay picnic?
The hot dogs taste like shit...

[flanflinger]

Asian gents wife dies, he goes to place an announcement in the paper & is told it's 3 words for a £1. He only has a £1 so says put 'Sanjit is dead' They feel sorry for him & offer him another 3 words for free. He thinks for a minute & says ok, put 'Sanjit is dead, shop still open'


Always remember A woman is like a toilet....she's either Free, Taken, Unavailable, Engaged, Out of order, Taking the piss or just full of shit


Thankyou for your application for channel 4's "10 years younger". Unfortunately your application was unsuccessful - we only have surgeons not fucking magicians! hehehe


Lady goes 2 GP with a bee up her fanny. Doc says "Im gonna rub honey on my dick & insert it. When the bee smells it, I'll pull out & he'll follow. Dr starts & woman begins 2 moan. Dr gets faster & harder. Woman yells "What the fuck u doing? Doc says, Change of plan. I'm gonna drown the bastard.


I went the doctor today, i told him i kept having dreams about chasing mice and birds. He told me i had "Cat flu" I said "Cat flu" ...Me? How?


Granny visits the doctor and in consultation says 'I have a problem with discharge' Doctor tells her to lie back and spread her legs. He then inserts two fingers in her vagina and moves them about asks granny " How does that feel?" Granny replies "Fucking lovely son! But the discharge is from my ear!"


I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, 'How flexible are you?' I said, 'I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays

I visited the offices of the RSPCA today. It's tiny: you couldn't swing a cat in there

I bought a train ticket to France and the ticket seller said 'Eurostar' I said 'Well I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin


I was reading this book today, The History of Glue. I couldn't put it down.


I went in to a pet shop. I said, 'Can I buy a goldfish?' The guy said, 'Do you want an aquarium?' I said, 'I don't care what star sign it is


Man in confession box says to priest,'father i had sex with 7 women last night'.Priest says 'go home and drink the juice of 10 lemons'. Man says 'will i be forgiven? No says priest 'but it will wipe that fuckin smile off your face!


I applied 4 a job in a mental hospital... They said i need 24 hrs of experince with a retard... U wana chill tomorrow? I got crayons.


Two eggs boiling in a pan and one says "I've got a huge crack", the other replies "Stop teasing me, I'm not fucking hard yet........!


Started reading Harry Potter. It's a bit far fetched. Ok, I can buy the fact that magic exists & that there may even be unicorns and wizards, but a ginger kid with 2 mates....... FUCK OFF!


The Government has uncovered a plot that terrorists are putting bombs in tins of alphabet spaghetti. If one goes off it could spell disaster.


A man with a black eye boards a plane & notices the man next to him has a black eye too. The first man says, "How did you get that?" . . .Second man says, "Instead of asking the big breasted girl at the ticket counter for 2 tickets to Pittsburgh I asked for 2 pickets to tittsburgh". . .First man says, "I got mine like that too, I wanted to say to my wife, Pour me a bowl of frosties please" . . "but I accidentally said, Youve ruined my life you fat cunt".


Joe royle arrived at oldham for his first day at his new job to be confronted with a huge electric bill from goodison park sitting on his desk , so he rang bill kenwright to see what was going on and kenwright replied "you were the last one in the trophy room and you left the light on !"

[Detector]

ive also set up a number for vip members only: 01977 601111

best joke gets a 2 day free holiday stay in a 4 star b&b in pontefract with en suite facilities, butler, free phone, and free security/parking.

please no lewd stuff though as its my mates

[flanflinger]

riiiiiiiiight

[Detector]

Mayor goes into a school and theres 3 kids in a line with flowers
the first girl said "my names rose, because a rose petal flew on my mum when i was born"
the second girl said my names voilet, because a violet petal fell on my mum when i was being born.

the third girl could not keep still, her eyes were all over and she was slavvering, whats your name said the mayor "BREEZE BLOCK" SAID THE GIRL.

[flanflinger]

ha ha haha