My tale of joy and sorrow

[Roty]

Here's my tale of how of how life can be great and kick you in the nuts.
For the past three years my missus has had all sort of womens problems resulting in countless procedures and 4 operations.

After the last op she was told that she couldn't have children, my missus was in bits for ages, but to our surprise in March 08 she fell pregnant and because of all her previous problems we had an early scan. This showed that the pregnancy was etopic and the same day she had the pregnancy and a fallopian tube removed.

We looked at having ivf and just got approval for nhs funding when she fell pregnant again. After another early scan we were delighted to discover that she was pregnant with twins and everything was normal. After 8 weeks she had a bad bleed and we feared miscarriage but after 2 days in hospital we got the good news that everything was ok.

The day after the 20 week scan we got a phonecall to say that the thigh bone on twin 1 was small (which is a marker for downs syndrome) and could we come in for a more detailed scan. Everything was discussed and we was told all our options and booked a scan with a fetal specialist.

She was scanned and found that everything was small but in proportion with the rest of the body, and after several scans she diagnosed that all though she could not rule out chromosome problems, it was fetal growth restriction (this is when the baby only gets intermittent blood flow through the cord, so will grow small in comparisson to the other twin).

The only way to know for sure with a twin pregnancy is to inject a needle into both pregnancy sacs and extract fluid for analysis, but the odds of miscarriage after this procedure is 1 in 70, so we decided against this, we were offered the choice of terminating twin 1 but they would not know the effect this could have on twin 2.

So my missus had weekly doppler scans checking the blood flow through the cord, then was diagnosed with pre eclamsia, so for 3 months she was in hospital. She was transferred from Good Hope in Birmingham to Heartlands and at 33 weeks transferred to Liverpools women hospital, where because of reversal of blood flow in the cord the twins were delivered 7 weeks premature on the 16th April.

I now have 2 lovely daughters Erin born weighing 4lbs 2 oz and Ava at 2lbs 1/2 oz. I was the happiest i have ever been for 2 days when they called us in and said that Ava could have downs due to her having a single crease across her hands. Unfotunately tests proved that she has got downs and at 6 days old they were transferred back to Heartlands where they are on the neo natal unit.

They are both fighting fit and Erin is out of her incubator, but the missus is finding it hard to except Ava, this is causing lots of stress for us both and luckily I went bald ages ago, but I have noticed a few grey hairs in my beard.

[EnTiTy]

Well done mate after all the problems, you both deserve a bit of luck ferility problems are no fun at all ! in reguard to Ava some bonding time will help. im sure your mrs will come round downs or not its flesh and blood. make sure she does not go post natal depression because of it, another not so fun problem. it should be a happy and joyous time well done And take care of your new family

[BIG-TED]

all the best mate. Had my fair share of shite with kiddies coming early and not at all, and the missus going post natal depressed etc. It's a tough time for every one involved.
My first was born at 31wks weighing 2lb 13oz. shes just turned 3 now and a pain in the ass . there is light at the end of the tunnel, just takes a while. Keep an eye on your missus it can be a lot to cope with. If in any doubt don't be affraid to get some outside help. Talk to your Gp, midwife and/or healthvisitor.

All the best . (and don't forget to enjoy them as they grow up so quick)

Ted

[Mystical_2K]

all the best mate

[spookythang]

Congratulations to all 4 of you, sounds like it was really tough. Ok the twin with downs is going to need a bit more care but I have worked with a lot of kids with Downs and believe me she will break your heart with her smiles and her joy of being in the world. Well done, now loads of sleepless nights and cacky nappies!!! yay!!!

[crashtestmac]

Not quite sure what to say mate......

I hope that all goes well mate i really do, we had 3 miscarriages and we now have 3 fantastic kids. You will manage to deal with anything that gets thrown at you just do the best you can.

[flukesy]

I hope all your dreams and wishes come true for you and your family,my friend, congratulations !

[beansontoast]

Congratulations mate, you've all been through a lot & there's plenty more to come by the sounds of it - good luck to you all

[KLL8]

Congratulations. Your partner will be ok. Just keep an eye on her. I was told I couldnt have kids, So when I found out I was pregnant I was most surprised. I had an awful delivery and if it could go wrong it did. But I did have a ver healthy 9lb baby. The problem that I had was bonding with him. It took my hubby 5 months to get a doctor. I love him to bits and I think I always did. I think its just hard imagining everything that lays ahead of you and maybe you partner is just worried about it all.
But trust me she will be good. Its still very new and she is still getting used to the idea as I am sure you are too. Good look with having twins though lol. My brother had twins and they gang up on you when you dont expect it lol

[russbeer]

What a wonderful heart warming story. So happy for you that you've finally got the children you craved. My sister in law is due on Tuesday with their first and probably only little un, after about 4 years of IVF, and I think I'm more excited than the rest of the family about it.

You will have some hard work ahead of you with twins, especially due to the downs syndrome, but as stated earlier by Spookythang, they are the most loving, happy children who thankfully see the world in a different way to the rest of us.

All the very best for the future mate. Make sure you keep us up to date with their progress and some pics would be nice. The missus will come round, make sure you keep a close eye on her, buckle up as you have a bumpy road ahead for a good few months, but rest assured it'll be so rewarding in the end.

Take care mate, and hope you enjoy every minute of it.
Russbeer

[Roty]

Many thanks for all your messages of support, they are appreciated.

[Simate]

I can't believe I missed this. What a wonderful thing to happen and your story is worded so beautifully. I showed my wife this thread and she was almost in tears lol! The best of luck to all of you with your new life. There is masses of help and advice out there if you need it.

[vixen]

Congratuations on the birth of your beautiful twin girls .They will bring you so much joy . Downs children are the most loving children they have so much love to give they bring laughter and joy into every day they are never unhappy you will look back and think how blessed you are to have 2 wonderful daughters . You are so lucky and blessed

[Brydo666]

Congrats on the two little ones! I hope everything goes well for you.

Chris

[furrry]

yeah best wishes m8

[Roty]

Thanks once again, we have been told that Erin can come home on Sunday night , after 4 1/2 weeks in hospital, but had some bad news that Ava has three holes in her heart that will probably require surgery when she is bigger and stronger (she is still only 2lbs 9oz), she's alittle fighter though.

[russbeer]

Great news about Erin mate, Ava has got it bloody tough though hasn't she?

Some pics would be nice once you have the time mate. We all love baby pics on here

[up for it]

may sound harsh m8 but life is shite and throws loads of sorrow in your face
i'm sure the little ones will bring lots of joy to you and you wife
good luck m80

[muttleymacclad]

Roty,

Congratutions. Sounds like some tough times ahead for you but keep your chin up, they're worth it. You're story was great to read.

It's amazing how common things like this are, my wife had 2 miscarriages before we had a our first son, when he was born 5 weeks early, he developed an infection and was sent to Great Ormond Street Neonatal intensive care Unit. He nearly died after 2 days but managed to pull through, spent another month on a ward in GOS, now he's 7 i still can't believe how lucky we are to still have him.

All the best to you, your wife and eva and Erin.

MML

[vixen]

Thats really great news to hear that things are getting better for you and your wife and your twins .Children are a blessing and a miracle .When things settle down more, can we have pictures please . As others have said its lovely to see pictures of children .Makes you realise that every child is is a miracle. Wishing you and your wife and babies all the best x