Would you be accepting of a gay son/daughter?

[GTI]

There is a lot of homo-erotic banter that goes on here on DF, much of which I happily join in on However when the chips are down, are you really that comfortable with homosexuality? In my case its all very well saying that I have nothing against the homosexual lifestyle and abhor any form of prejudice directed towards them, but if my son/daughter told me they were gay, I think I would be pretty devastated, as well as embarassed, angry etc.. So the question is, would you accept your child if they told you they were gay? the question is not whether you would still love them (since I hope that would be obvious), but rather whether you would embrace their lifestyle and welcome their partners as you would straight sons/daughters in law?

Whats promoted this post was an interesting lunch I just had with 4 Swiss colleagues. One of them let slip that his son and partner were coming over this Sunday for lunch. Someone innocently asked if they had any kids, and the poor guy went bright scarlet and muttered that his son's partner was actually a man. The three others looked visibly shocked, which sort of matches the ultra-conservative Swiss mentality.

[B.I.G.]

I have nothing against the gays so i'd like to think i'd happily accept it but i don't know 100%.

Any homosexuals i've met in the past have at first been weary of me because in my willingness to show them i don't care i tend to go over the top,making a big deal of their gayness cracking jokes and stuff in an attempt to make them feel at ease.In the end they understand and know i mean no harm and have been sound.

Oh and for some reason i think i'd accept a gay daughter easier than a gay son.

[the.insane]

i have had this conversation before with friends and no, i would not accept my sone/daughter becoming homosexual or even bi-sexual.

A lot of people seem to think it is ok to accept it nowadays, but about 20 - 30 years ago, if you were found to be gay, then you were regarded as an outcast, like a leper, and those are the same days people refer to as the good old days.

If life now is shit compared to them "good old days" then accepting homosexuality is a major cintributing factor to shit life in a society.

[Thrush]

I'd have no problem with my child being gay, as long as he'd sort out his old man with some bum fun.

[-AMO-]

I think being a homosexual female is VERY different to being a homosexual male.

I could accept the idea of my daughter having sexual relations with another woman, but the thought of my son having some guys dick digging shit out of his rectum is something I just couldn't accept.

[flumperino]

I don't think I'd have a problem with it.

One of the main issues being, especially if you have one child, is potentially no grandkids.

[Over Carl]

Ain't got kids so harder for me to say, but I honestly reckon if it happened to me at first I would be totally shocked/repulsed/disgusted/etc. but I reckon and I suppose I hope if it ever happened to me that in a short period (4-8 weeks kinda thing) the strong family bond would override and I would come to terms with the fact it's not just a stage or something.

I'm guessing over a longer period (maybe 4-8 months, possibly longer) I would gradually change from being embarassed like the Swiss guy to one who is ready to vigorously defend my family.

[Bald Bouncer]

Not a problem at all, your child's sexuality is totally up to them it's their life and there is a lot more to life than sex one of the main things to be happy. I wouldn't have a problem with it what so ever.

[Over Carl]

A lot of people seem to think it is ok to accept it nowadays, but about 20 - 30 years ago, if you were found to be gay, then you were regarded as an outcast, like a leper, and those are the same days people refer to as the good old days.

If life now is shit compared to them "good old days" then accepting homosexuality is a major cintributing factor to shit life in a society.

I've had the same thought, also covering topics such as religion and stuff, but (hypothetically speaking of course) I don't think I could disown my own child for things like these. If my kid tried to bum me or cast pagan spells on me, then maybe, but I would hope that wouldn't be the case.

[GTI]

Not a problem at all, your child's sexuality is totally up to them it's their life

Although its a very human trait that we try and live our lives through our children.

[BertRoot]

Doesn't matter to me at all but my kids are only 8 months and four. I'd like to hope that folk, when they are of age to come out should they wish to, would be a lot more accepting of differing forms of sexuality. The girls near me, one lot are 17 and 18 and the other is a girl of 13 have openly gay male friends of their own age who are camp as Christmas and I often think how their fathers feel about this. On another note the girl of 13s camper friend was chased under a moving car by a gang of lads who wanted to beat him for being gay just before the end of term and has a badly broken leg as a result. Sad really.

Although its a very human trait that we try and live our lives through our children.

Very true but I am going to try my hardest not to do this with my kids.

[spookythang]

How can one not accept/tollerate it? It's not like their sexuality is going to change because their parents don't like it. We as parents don't have any choice in the sexuality of our kids and any parent who could put their dislike/hatred/prejudice or whatever above their child's happiness to me is severely lacking as a parent. I have worked for many years in an industry that is heavily populated by Gay men and women and the devastation caused by some parents of Gay children is massive and in my opinion shameful. I know guys and girls who have either tried to or succeeded in ending their lives because their parents couldn't cope surely only the most self centred and ignorant parent would rather their child die than be gay. In my opinion if either of my children are gay it makes absolutely no difference to me whatsoever and any fcker who gives em grief about it has me to go through too.

[beacytan]

i would accept becuase it my daughter and i love her unconditionally. it it was a son i dont know if i could!

[BertRoot]

i would accept becuase it my daughter and i love her unconditionally. it it was a son i dont know if i could!

So you can only unconditionally love you r daughter as opposed to if you had a son? Sounds a little suspect to me fella.

[beacytan]

i obviosuly dont want my 5-year old to turn out gay but if thats what she is, thats what she is. i would find it hard toi accept but i know i would have to get on with it. if i had a son and he was gay, i dare say i would have to accept that, it would just be much harder i think.. just my opinion as a father of a daughter, i may be different if i had a son.

[Over Carl]

I can kind of see where beacytan is coming from, whilst both will involve sexual gratification, one will be a lot more likely to involve a painful invasion of your child.

[C3Grimmy]

I have totally accepted & treat his partner like 1 of the family

[B.I.G.]

On another note the girl of 13s camper friend was chased under a moving car by a gang of lads who wanted to beat him for being gay just before the end of term and has a badly broken leg as a result. Sad really.

I never really considered the fact that my child could be persecuted because of his/her sexual preferences whilst giving my answer,so that puts a different slant on it as well.I only looked at it from the one would i be happy with of my lads giving out or receiving a bumming.

[herbinator]

I have tried to move with the times and be accepting of people with different sexual preference to myself.
To the point of what people do in the privacy of theyre own homes is their business i find it hard if its being forced upon me but then i dont approve of public displays of hetrosexual activity. Ive dealt with lots of gay people and even lived in the same flat as a transexual in the past, nicest people you could meet and i am proud to say i treated these aquaintances no different to straight friends. Alas i would be totally devastated if any of my children were gay thankfully 3 out of 4 are confirmed straight i:e married or actively seeking a conventional partner finger crossed for the 4th!!!

[tiggerbiker]

i would be a liar if i didnt say that i was a little dissapointed but only in respect of having grandkids in the future.

my kids do have unconditional love, whatever route they take i will stand by them - what parent would have it any other way?