Favourite Insults

Thread: Favourite Insults

  1. Dan's Avatar

    Dan said:

    Favourite Insults

    What are your favourite insults? I usually use the classic "You smell" or maybe even, "You are a smelly mexican" but am looking for a new twist with some kind of witty insult. Whats your favourite? I'm thinking something along the lines of "You smell worse than a donkey's ar$e after curry on a friday night"
     
  2. gunner's Avatar

    gunner said:

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    You stupid fcuking cun t.

    Nothing personal m8
    Liverpool FC - Pride of Merseyside
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  3. CzarJunkie's Avatar

    CzarJunkie said:

    Default Re: Favourite Insults

    Originally posted by Dan
    What are your favourite insults? I usually use the classic "You smell" or maybe even, "You are a smelly mexican" but am looking for a new twist with some kind of witty insult. Whats your favourite? I'm thinking something along the lines of "You smell worse than a donkey's ar$e after curry on a friday night"
    How old r u m8? 11? Those have got to be some of the worse insults I've ever heard.

    You f*cking numpty c*nt................................................by the ways thats mine.
     
  4. Dan's Avatar

    Dan said:

    Default Re: Re: Favourite Insults

    Originally posted by CzarJunkie


    How old r u m8? 11? Those have got to be some of the worse insults I've ever heard.

    You f*cking numpty c*nt................................................by the ways thats mine.
    it was said in a jokey kind of way, its normally shut up u tw@t or along the lines of that.
     
  5. makiavelli's Avatar

    makiavelli said:

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    You' re depriving a villiage somewhere
     
  6. tom999's Avatar

    tom999 said:

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    Originally posted by makiavelli
    You' re depriving a villiage somewhere
    nice :
     
  7. bamboosh's Avatar

    bamboosh said:

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    go and take your face for a shit
     
  8. marcode's Avatar

    marcode said:

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    You know, you could have been prevented for a quid.

    He's says he lives by his wits. He's half right...

    "We've been friends for a very long time, what say you we call it quits?"

    The wheel is still spinning, but the hamster is dead...

    Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    Save Your Breath ... You'll need it to blow up your date!

    While he is not dumber than an ox, he's not appreciably smarter either.

    You have the people skills of a belt sander!

    Hey! Quit hogging all the ugly!

    She couldn't find a birthday card in a Hallmark store.

    Here's a Quarter, call somebody who cares.

    You may have a point there, but if you part your hair different, no one would see.

    His elevator doesn't go to the top.

    If my dog looked as ugly as you, I'd shave its butt & teach it to walk backwards!

    May your life be like toilet paper - long and useful.

    You're a few Bradys short of a bunch

    I think, therefore, I am... not related to you.

    A few sandwiches short of a picnic, aren't we?

    Everyone is entitled to be stupid but you're abusing the privilege.

    If your head were any harder, you could cut glass with it.

    He's as sharp as a beach ball.

    May the curse of Mary Malone and her nine blind illegitimate children chase you so far over the hills of Damnation that the Lord himself can't find you with a telescope. - Irish Curse

    In the pinball game of life, his flippers were a little further apart than most.

    Don't go away mad, just go away!

    Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?

    We're having creative differences. I'm creative, you're different.

    She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the JuneFlower.

    I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

    Stupidity does not qualify as a handicap, park elsewhere!

    Hey, you've got something ugly on your shoulders.

    His brain rattles around his head like a pea in a boxcar.

    Brains by Mattel.

    Don't talk about yourself so much... we'll do that when you leave.

    His antenna doesn't pick up all the channels.

    He's about as exciting as my wall.

    He could use some time on the whetstone.

    The butter slipped off her noodle.

    she's a few sandwiches short of a picnic

    You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

    That woman would bore a statue.

    Jesus loves you, everyone else thinks you're a jerk.

    You're more unprepared than a vegetarian at a state barbecue.

    Don't worry, I'm fluent in weirdo.

    His belt doesn't go through all the loops.

    You may already be a wiener!

    He's not playing with a full deck, and the cards he does have are rather shuffled!

    He's a quart low and still dripping.

    Her best friend once sent her a post card with a picture of the entire planet Earth taken from space. On the back it said: Wish you were here.

    People would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

    Now THERE'S a guy who has definitely reached his full potential.

    Your about as slow as a turtle crawling through peanut butter.

    His IQ is 2 (it takes 3 to grunt)

    You give superficial a bad name. - Byron Alley

    The butter slid off her knife.

    When he came to the fountain of knowledge, he merely gargled.

    I'd like to see things your way, but I'm not sure if I can stick my head that far up my ass.

    You're about as bright as a burned out light bulb in a dark room.

    It's hard to believe you out-swam a million other sperm.

    If he had another brain, it would be lonely.

    She has Van Gogh's ear for music.

    I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable.

    Her face was her chaperone. Ouch!

    If I was 10 times smarter than you, I'd be a moron!

    You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance.

    Try not to let your mind wander. It is too small to be out by itself. - L. Atkinson

    He gave her a piece of his mind, and couldn't get by on what was left.

    Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

    A chat with you, and death loses its sting!

    You're about as much fun as chewing burlap on a muggy day.

    We've Upped Our Quality, So Up Yours!

    Why are you here, and what can I do to change that?

    Not the sharpest tool in the shed, are you?

    All foam, no beer.

    Just because your head is pointed doesn't mean you're sharp.

    Hey, I don't know if you're aware but, there are these two things you can put together and use everyday to make people around you smile... they're called, SOAP AND WATER!

    She's a few fries short of a happy meal.

    When God was handing out brains she thought he said trains and she wanted a slow one.

    I would engage you in a battle of wits but I refuse to duel with an unarmed person.

    You're not getting old; you're getting... well, at least, I don't see how you could possibly get any older.

    Let's have a suicide pact. You go first.

    Some people are going to leave a mark on this world, you might leave a stain.

    What is your worst sin? My vanity. I spend hours before the mirror admiring my beauty. That isn't vanity, dear, that's imagination.

    You're about as sharp as a marble...

    He's about as subtle as a chainsaw, but lacking the social grace.

    The lights are on but no one's home.

    If brains were gasoline he wouldent have enough to power an ant's motorcycle half way across a penny

    The proctologist called... they found your head.

    I'd be happy to help you out. What way did you come in?

    He's not the cookie with the most chocolate chips.

    I read your mind, and trust me, it was a short story...

    Everyone has a photographic memory, some just don't have film.

    She's depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

    If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.

    If brains were gasoline, he couldn't drive a go-cart around the inside of a Cheerio.

    Jim never really grew up. One day, he just kind of haired-over.

    The engine is running but there's nobody at the wheel.

    You would be out of your depth in a parking lot puddle

    She's got one wheel in the sand.

    Her slinky's kinked.

    They say that only nice people go to heaven, so be nice, or go to hell.

    If your brain were rolling down the edge of a razor blade it would look like a BB rolling down an eight lane highway.

    "You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life jacket, I'd miss you heaps and think of you often.

    If things get better with age, he's approaching magnificent!

    He was so narrow minded he could see through a keyhole with both eyes...

    Roses are red, Violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you?

    When you say that your troubles are as great as my own, that may be true. But consider the fact that mine happen to me while yours merely happen to you.

    Great cage! No bird...

    If brains were taxed, he'd get a rebate.

    Your sister didn't get beat with the ugly stick. The whole tree fell on her!

    I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

    Oh Dear! Looks like you fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down!

    The cheese slid off her cracker.

    I heard you had an idea once, but it died of loneliness.

    We're not laughing AT you, we're laughing WITH you. Now, if you'd just start laughing, the whole concept would fall right into place.

    If your parents got a divorce would they still be brother and sister?

    Cry me a river, build me a bridge and get over it.

    You need to find a quiet corner and have a word with yourself.

    I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception. - Groucho Marx

    His/her brain has two synapses. Unfortunately, one of them is misfiring.

    He's such a loser, he still parties like it's 1999.

    If I was in a room with you and two werewolves and I had a gun with two silver bullets, I'd shoot you, twice.

    Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


    :
     
  9. Sergeant-Major's Avatar

    Sergeant-Major said:

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    SHUT THE F_UCK UP !!

    YOU FART SUCKING MISSFIT ARSEHOLE !!



    WELL.... THATS ONLY PAGE ONE !!!! LMAO !!!!!!!!


    Sergeant-Major Williams.



     
  10. Mr Grimes's Avatar

    Mr Grimes said:

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    Piss Ant, douche bag, numb nuts, and your mother wears army boots, you sorry sack of shit.
     
  11. Gavin M's Avatar

    Gavin M said:

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    "here's 10p go phone all your mates"
     
  12. top notch's Avatar

    top notch said:

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    1) your a fu*king sausage jockey
    2)your hair is so greasy u could run a fuking chip shop
    3)your clothes have more ****ing holes than a second hand dart board
    4)and a good classic your a fat ****ing umpa lumpa
     
  13. Cam's Avatar

    Cam said:

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    Originally posted by marcode
    You know, you could have been prevented for a quid.

    He's says he lives by his wits. He's half right...

    ......


    Too many freaks, not enough circuses.


    :

    he nos all of them cos they bin used on him sumtime or other
    #

    (17:18:34) (+Cam) i need to mount my xbox hdd in linux
    (17:19:02) (+SpikeWork) youth of today, they'll mount anything
     
  14. Flip's Avatar

    Flip said:

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    ****ing gimp

    ill knock you out you mother ****ing queer asswipe

    talking about your mother again

    cant be as bad as you dick munch

    jamafrica
     
  15. tbops's Avatar

    tbops said:

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    Your Mums Tits.
     
  16. CON-DIGI's Avatar

    CON-DIGI said:

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    "Who's diseased penis did you dribble out of?"
     
  17. chipbuttyman's Avatar

    chipbuttyman said:

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    Fu(k off
    says it all really
     
  18. monsta's Avatar

    monsta said:

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    Asshole. Guy couldn’t find his ****in’ couch the living room - just warming up ..... and then ....

    You stupid ****in’ ****. You, Williamson, I’m talkin’ to you, shithead. You just cost me six thousand dollars. Six thousand dollars and one Cadillac. That’s right. What are you gonna do about it? What are you gonna do about it, asshole. You’re ****in’ shit. Where did you learn your trade? You stupid ****in’ ****. You idiot. Who ever told you that you could work with men?


    Ricky Roma, played by Al Pacino in Glengarry Glen Ross
     
  19. DEC2K's Avatar

    DEC2K said:

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    none coz i dont take it personally lol
     
  20. us's Avatar

    us said:

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    You fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.