Close

Results 1 to 7 of 7
  1. #1
    DF Jedi ibobsy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    England
    Posts
    1,157
    Thanks
    101
    Thanked:        34
    Karma Level
    253

    Default Come on Baby light my fire

    This is a transcript of an actual cyber sex session. As all of you are
    well aware, online computers are often used to engage in cybersex.
    Detailed fantasies are typed into the computer to be instantly
    transmitted over then Internet. Sometimes these harmless fantasies
    become fairly raunchy. This is not the case with the following
    transcript of an actual on-line cybersex session. Either this guy is
    clueless or has the greatest sense of humour known to mankind.

    Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

    Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather
    miniskirt and high heeled boots. I am tanned and very buffed. I
    workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

    Wellhung: I'm 6'3 and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair
    of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old
    T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind
    of funny.

    Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

    Wellhung: OK

    Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the
    stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm
    smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel
    your huge swelling bulge.

    Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

    Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

    Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

    Wellhung: I 'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly
    off.

    Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk
    slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing
    and pulling.

    Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your
    blouse. I'm sorry.

    Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

    Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

    Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my
    soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

    Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck.
    Do you have scissors?

    Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly; I reach behind my
    back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my
    breasts, nipples are erect for you.

    Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting
    the clasp.

    Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your
    tongue all over me.

    Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know,
    breasts. They're neat!

    Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
    your ear.

    Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
    phlegm.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

    Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains
    of my blouse.

    Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it
    in the corner of the room.

    Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard
    tool.

    Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

    Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

    Wellhung: I 'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over,
    in and out and nibbling on you. ummm, wait a second.

    Sweetheart: What's the matter?

    Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

    Sweetheart: Are you OK?

    Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

    Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

    Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a
    cup. Where do you keep your cups??

    Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink

    Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

    Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

    Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

    Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

    Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet.
    And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost.
    Where is the bedroom?

    Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

    Wellhung: I found it.

    Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

    Wellhung: Me too.

    Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against
    each other.


    Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

    Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

    Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the
    nightstand.

    Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

    Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.

    Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

    Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for
    the toilet and lift the lid.

    Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

    Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle.
    Uh-oh!

    Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

    Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm
    walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

    Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

    Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm,
    woman's thing.

    Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

    Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm
    having a little problem here.

    Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another
    second. Slide it in! Screw me!

    Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

    Sweetheart: WHAT?

    Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

    Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
    my face.

    Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all
    floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

    Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my
    underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

    Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across
    the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and
    your candles.

    Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

    Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell
    on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a
    shocked look on my face.


    Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

    Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member
    Mystical_2K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2002
    Location
    Sunnyvale
    Posts
    4,150
    Thanks
    866
    Thanked:        725
    Karma Level
    622

    Default

    seen it before - still funny
    You know he grew up as a little shitspark from the old shitflint and then he turned into a shitbonfire and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfirestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash the shitnami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he'll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shitwaves.

  3. #3
    Banned russbeer's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Location
    Ormskirk, NW
    Posts
    9,622
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        1
    Karma Level
    0

    Default Re: Come on Baby light my fire

    thats bloody funny. a cleanfreak cyber sex session!

  4. #4
    DF Jedi MonkeyBalls's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Flowery Tw*ts
    Posts
    1,714
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked:        0
    Karma Level
    282

    Default Re: Come on Baby light my fire

    Thats quality! Never seen it before well done! K+!

  5. #5
    DF Jedi crazyal's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2002
    Location
    Okinawa
    Posts
    4,119
    Thanks
    306
    Thanked:        410
    Karma Level
    462

    Default Re: Come on Baby light my fire

    Very old but it made me smile again.

  6. #6
    DF Jedi Deadly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2004
    Location
    Liverpool
    Posts
    3,553
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked:        3
    Karma Level
    439

    Default Re: Come on Baby light my fire

    lmao, seen a few of those b4, not this one though

  7. #7
    DF Super Moderator Over Carl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    12,776
    Thanks
    3,226
    Thanked:        1,459
    Karma Level
    1230

    Default Re: Come on Baby light my fire

    ALways wondered what the point in cybersex was, that looks fun tho

Similar Threads

  1. Make the Girl Dance - Baby Baby Baby
    By Goldberg in forum Funny/Strange Video Clips
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 1st October 2010, 03:25 PM
  2. XCM Fire takes the "light" out of light gun, still looks sufficiently violent
    By DF Bot in forum Home Audio/Video, Electronic Toys & Gadgets
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 18th January 2010, 02:00 AM
  3. come on baby light my ......
    By GameKing in forum Funny/Strange Video Clips
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 11th May 2007, 03:10 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •