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  1. #1
    DF Rookie psxman's Avatar
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    Default Rule Britannia???

    PROUD TO BE BRITISH!!!!???

    Very proud to be British because... Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

    Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

    Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke

    Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to the counters.

    Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

    Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

    Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a skating rink. NOT TO MENTION... 3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

    142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

    58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

    31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the fairy lights were plugged in.

    19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas decorations were chocolate. British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling accidents.

    101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out of the soles of their feet.

    18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

    A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.

    And finally......... In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.

    Still proud???

  2. #2
    DF Jedi Morph's Avatar
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    Default

    Spot on m8, but Im not sure about the 9volt battery thing ?? can u die by doing that, I have done it loads! got me worried now

  3. #3
    DF PlaYa Yazmon's Avatar
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    5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control Scalextric cars.
    Er, eh? Are those the Scalextric cars that have razor blades tapped to the front?!@#??

  4. #4
    DF Jedi Cam's Avatar
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    morph u can die from it thats u i only test the dead batts LOL

    and the cars can get up to a nice speed on the bigger tracks they cut mi once from flyin round a coner

    (17:18:34) (+Cam) i need to mount my xbox hdd in linux
    (17:19:02) (+SpikeWork) youth of today, they'll mount anything

  5. #5
    Sergeant-Major
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    Originally posted by Morph
    Spot on m8, but Im not sure about the 9volt battery thing ?? can u die by doing that, I have done it loads! got me worried now

    LOL@Morph





    Sergeant-Major Williams.

  6. #6
    ABCMan
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    Originally posted by Yazmon


    Er, eh? Are those the Scalextric cars that have razor blades tapped to the front?!@#??
    not if they come off at high speed on a corner and you have the track on a table the bits of you they hit are pretty soft and dont need razor blades

  7. #7
    DF Wh0re abarthman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Rule Britannia???

    Originally posted by psxman
    In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the toilet.
    Only eight? I thought there would have been far more than that! :rolls:

    ...and I suppose a Scalextric car coming off a banked curve a full speed and hitting you in the eye would sting a fair bit!

  8. #8
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    yeh i agree about the throwing up in the bog, there must thousands of blokes every weekend with their head in the porcelin and only eight a year die mmmmm....something wrong there
    You know he grew up as a little shitspark from the old shitflint and then he turned into a shitbonfire and driven by the winds of his monumental ignorance he turned into a raging shitfirestorm. If I get to be married to Barb I'll have total control of Sunnyvale and then I can unleash the shitnami tidal wave that will engulf Ricky and extinguish his shitflames forever. And with any luck he'll drown in the undershit of that wave. Shitwaves.

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