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Thread: chat up lines

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member xdam's Avatar
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    Default chat up lines

    Walk into her chest) "If they weren't sooo large, it wouldn't have happened.
    All those curves, and me with no brakes.
    Are those space pants? Cuz your ass is out of this world!< /TD>
    Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
    Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.
    Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?
    Didn't I see you on the cover of Vogue?
    Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you."
    Girl, you look so good, I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit!
    Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?
    Hey baby, you must be a light switch, cuz every time I see you, you turn me on!
    Hey, don't I know you? Yeah, you're the girl with the beautiful smile.
    Hey, I know you! You were Miss Maryland last year, weren't you?
    I feel like Richard Gere, I'm standing next to you, the Pretty Woman.
    I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?
    I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!
    I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.
    I know milk does a body good, but baby, how much have you been drinking?
    I think I can die happy now, cause I've just seen a piece of heaven.
    I'm not drunk, I'm just intoxicated by you.
    I've had quite a bit to drink, and you're beginning to look pretty good.
    If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?
    If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.
    Is it hot in here or is it just you?
    Just where do those legs of yours end?
    Let's take a shower together -- you smell.
    Nice to meet you, I'm (your name) and you are...gorgeous!
    So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men excited and warm all over?
    Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess(or prince) like you.
    Was your father a farmer? Because you sure have grown some nice melons!
    Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?
    Were you arrested earlier? It's gotta be illegal to look that good.
    Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.
    Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.
    What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?
    What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!
    Wow! Are those real?
    Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
    You are the reason men fall in love.
    You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!
    You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!
    You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.
    You look like my third wife. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? Twice.
    You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.
    You should be someone's wife.
    You're ugly but you intrigue me.
    You've got to refer me to your plastic surgeon.
    Oh my sweet darling! For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.
    Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?
    Hey, You were great on Bay Watch last night!
    If you have a chance to become anything on earth what would you want to become?" [the answer] you: " well to me, i want to be your tear drop: i was born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.
    Babe! you look so fine i could drink your bath water!
    I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
    I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.
    You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.
    You're so hot you would make the devil sweat.
    Baby, you so flat you make the walls jealous.
    If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.
    I bet you could suck the chrome off a trailor hitch.
    I bet you could suck Lincolns head off a penny.
    Gee, for a fat girl you sure dont sweat much.
    Are you wearing space pants? Cause your ass is out of this world.
    Excuse me.....Hi, i'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and i was wondering if i could interview you...
    If god made any thing better than you he keep it for him self.
    Guy: Sorry, but you owe me a drink. Girl: Why? Guy:I looked at you and dropped mine.
    Girl, if I were a fly, I'd be all over you, because you're the shit!
    There must be a lightswitch on my forehead because everytime I see you, you turn me on!
    Damn, I thought "very-fine" only came in a bottle!
    Your dad must have been retarded, 'cuz you are special.
    Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?
    Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.
    If beauty were time, you'd be eternity.
    Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you'd be guilty as charged!
    Are you a parking ticket? (What?) You got fine written all over you.
    If you stood infront of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
    I just wanted to show this rose how incredably beautiful you are!!
    I betting that you cannot wait until tomorrow, because I bet that you get more and more beautiful every day.
    If God made anything more pretty, I'm sure he'd keep it for himself.
    You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.
    You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.
    Are you a tamale? 'Cause you're hot.
    You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.
    I was going to tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. But it looks like somebody beat me to it.
    Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.
    Where's your paper bag? (What?) Your paper bag to put over your head. (Excuse me?) It's dangerous for someone like you to be out in public with all of these horny people around. Don't worry, I'll protect you.
    When I saw you from across the room, I passed out cold and hit my head on the floor...so I'm going to need your name and number for insurance reasons.
    Has anyone ever told you that you have Scandinavian hands? (Uh, no.) No, of course not, that would be an incredibily stupid thing to say, wouldn't it?
    Excuse me miss... Is your face so messed up because you fell from heaven.
    Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)
    Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let's go prove it.
    Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.
    Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
    Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
    Do you go the ocean much? 'Cause you smell like the CLAM!
    Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.
    I'm sorry, but, have we met before? (No.) Oh, I'm sorry, I guess that it must have been your mom.
    Baby, you're so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.
    You're a babe, right? Haven't you seen the film?
    Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.
    Even though the ugly lights are shining bright, you still look beautiful.
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  2. #2
    DF VIP Member xdam's Avatar
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    Default Re: chat up lines

    Originally posted by xdam

    Do you like to dance? Well then, could you go dance so I can talk to your friend?
    lol, i like that one
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  3. #3
    DF VIP Member xdam's Avatar
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    Didn't anyone tell you that you wanted to sleep with me?!?! I thought you knew...
    Do you know the difference between my penis and a chicken leg? No??? Well, let's go on a picnic and find out!
    Do you sleep on your stomach? [any answer] Can I?
    Do you take it up the ass?
    Excuse me, but would you like an orally stimulated orgasm?
    Excuse me, have I fucked you yet?
    Excuse me. Do you want to fuck or should I apologize?
    Fancy a fuck?
    Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let's play gynecologist.
    Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?
    Fuck me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?
    Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
    Fuck me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Laura?
    Go up to a someone at a bar or a dance and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?
    Have you ever kissed a rabbit between the ears? (Pull your pockets inside out....) Would you like to?
    Hey babe, how about a pizza and a fuck? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, don't you like pizza?
    Hey babe, wanna get LUCKY!?
    Hey Baby! I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs.
    Hey Baby! I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag!
    Hey baby, I want to lick your thighs.
    Hey baby, let's go make some babies.
    Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?
    Hey baby, wanna play lion? OK. You go kneel right there and I'll throw you my meat.
    Hey baby, what do you say we go behind that rock and get a little boulder?!?
    Hey I am a wrestler, let me take you down.
    Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
    Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?
    Hi, I'm a tawdry slut looking for a good time.
    Hi, I'm not trying to pressure you, I don't want to have sex without mutual consent; and by the way, you have my consent.
    Hi, my name is {name}, I like peanut butter, wanna fuck?
    Hi, wanna fuck? (No!) Mind lying down while I do?
    I am a magical being, take off your bra.
    I love you. I want to marry you. Now fuck my brains out.
    I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?
    I must expel some seminal fluid. May I use your body?
    I think we have to make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels NOW!
    I wanna put my thingy into your thingy.
    I want to thank you for [insert any event here], grab your ankles bitch!
    I'd like to tie you to a rafter and fuck you up and down.
    I'd love to swap bodily fluids with you.
    I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.
    If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.
    Let's bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.
    Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway.
    My name's [your name], but you can call me "lover."
    My name's [your name]That's so you know what to scream.
    Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
    Nice socks. Can I try them on after we have sex?
    Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?
    NOW, BITCH!
    Oh, you're a bird watcher....(Whip out your unit and ask) Well, would you take this for a swallow?
    Sex is a killer...want to die happy?
    Since we shouldn't waste this day and age what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.
    Take an ice cube to the bar, smash it, and say, "Now that I've broken the ice, will you sleep with me?"
    Take off that dress and fuck my brains out, you cave newt.
    The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.
    The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.
    Wanna fuck like bunnies?
    We're going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.
    What can I do to make you sleep with me?
    What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.
    Your face or MINE!?
    Your place or mine?

    Submitted Line
    I wish you were a screen door..... [Why?] So I can slam you all day long!
    Let's go get liquored up and rape each other.
    Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.
    Chick do now.
    I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart...
    Nice legs, lets eat out.
    Hey! Wanna play war? (replies)WHAT? (you)Yea, I lay on the ground and you blow the fuck outta me!
    If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
    You touch his shirt and ask, "Is this cotton?" Wait for response. Then touch down in the crotch area and say, "Oh, this must be felt."
    Hi my name is (your name), did I mention I have a penis.
    My dick's been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?
    Show me your pussy!
    Are you going to the party tonight (what party?) The one in your mouth, everybody's cumming.
    If I take off my clothes, will you fuck me?
    If I told you I had a 2 inch dick would you fuck me? (if she says no) say Good, because mine is 8 inches.
    I know where there is a good party, they've got liquor in the front and poker in the rear.
    Oh my God! I think I love you! Now lay down!
    Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? Nuthin could be finer than the taste of your vagina!
    I'd rip out both my eyes just so you have more holes to screw me in
    Dah, wanna see my dink?
    (silently mouth) I want a fig newton.
    Do you have a beard on your pussy/asshole? (No.) Want one?
    Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?
    Do you wanna lick my tongue?
    Hello. I have sex on the first date. Do you?
    Do you like apples? (Yes.) How about I take you home and fuck the shit out of you. How do like them apples?
    Do you like jewels? (Yes.) Suck my dick, it's a gem.
    Person #1: hey, you wanna do a 68? Person #2: What? Person #1: You go down, and I'll owe you one.
    Mean people suck, nice people swallow. I'm nice.
    Scientists have determined that the average time for intercourse is four minutes. The average number of strokes per minute is nine, and since the average length of the penis is six inches, the average female received two hundred and sixteen inches or fifteen feet per intercourse. Three times per week, fifty two weeks in a year, so, 150 times 18 makes 2700 feet, or just over a mile and a half. If you are not getting your mile and a half, why not let me help out?
    Tell me how my cum tastes.
    First, I'd like to kiss you passionately on the lips, then, I'll move up to your belly button.
    I've got a great big cock!
    You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.
    Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I like Spaghetti, Let's go fuck!
    Your lips are kinda wrinkled. Mind if I press them?
    Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?
    May i pleasure you with my tongue?
    Wanna go 50-50 on a rape charge?
    I have a big headache. I hear the best cure for headaches is sex. What say we go upstairs and work out a remedy.
    (walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!
    Fuck me, I'm beautiful enough to be with you all night.
    So, Is it safe to say I'm gonna score?
    Hi I'm (your name) I swallow
    I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
    Mines bigger than his want proof?
    I got a 14 inch cock, why don't you come home with me and I'll let you ride it.
    You are rubber, I'm glue, what ever you say, I bet I will fuck you.
    Looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and fuck you for glory.
    I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't cum in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
    I would fuck you so hard, you'd learn from it.
    Do you like my belt buckle? (any response is okay ) It would look better against your forehead!
    Do you wanna come to the Marines, or would your rather have a Marine come into you?
    Happy hour's over but it's still going strong at my place.
    Whip it out and show me what you got, so I can save the disappointment from later.
    Do you have any tacos on you? (No.) In that case, will you make out with me?
    Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name is...
    Are you gay? (No.) Wow, me neither, let's have sex.
    Hi. Last night, a little leprechaun came up to me and told me that if you don't have sex with me tonight, your(or my) dick is going to fall off. We don't want that now do we?
    I'm conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first participant?
    If I washed my dick, would you suck it? (No.) Oh, so you like to suck dirty dicks.
    Let's go fuck in a brand new limo.
    Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?
    Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, "Fuck it".
    love is a sensation; caused by a temptation; to feel penetration; a guy sticks his location; in a girl's destination; to increase the population; for the next generation; did you get my explanation; or do you need a demonstration?
    Nice fucking weather. Want to?
    Wanna fuck, or should I call my lawyer?
    Hi, my name is Guerrermo. I eat pussy like a woman.
    You remind me of a blue ribbon bass. I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.
    Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under...
    I'm not a slut, I'm just popular. Wanna fuck me and be the Big Man on Campus?
    You know, you really piss me off. You are the most disgusting bitch I have ever seen. Absolutely disgraceful. Wanna suck my hairy balls?

    You -will- go home with me tonight.

    I ran out of Viagra. Can I use you?
    Do you know what part of the tongue registers the "salty taste? Why don't you blow me and find out?
    Excuse me, but I think that you are too drunk to drive. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? [Does it] Next, I need for you to bend over and spell "RUN".
    Can you lick your nipples? [No.] Can I?
    Alright, let's go... I'll give you a half hour.
    I'm not an expert in hardware, but I know that you'd be able to screw my nuts off.
    (put out hand) Give me five. (after they give you five, leave your hand up) Give me elbow. (after they give you elbow, leave your hand up) Give me shoulder. (after they give you shoulder, leave your hand up) Give me nose. (after they give you nose, leave your hand up) Give me head.
    Could you do me a favor? Could you get on your knees and smile like a donut?
    Roses are black, violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?
    You've been a bad, bad girl(boy). Go to my room!
    Ever slept in a $5000 bed? Want to?
    This is a condom. If we put it on, we can have sex.
    I'm hard. You wet?
    I'm a necrophiliac... How well do you play dead?
    If you won't fuck me, can I fuck you?
    I'm rubber, your glue. Let's have sex.
    I WANT SEX! Sorry, the doctor said that would help....
    You're dead sexy. Get in my pussy!
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  4. #4
    DF VIP Member xdam's Avatar
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    Be unique and different, say yes.
    Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?
    Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
    Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?
    Hi. Are you cute?
    I can sense that you're a terrific lover, and it intimidates me a little.
    I'm easy. Are you?
    I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.
    I'm trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I'm allergic to sex.
    Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn't mean much when you have a weak heart.
    So....How am I doin'?
    You see my friend over there? [Point to friend who sheepishly waves from afar] He wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.
    Do you have a boyfriend? No. Want one?(if yes: Want another one?)
    When she's leaving:"Hey, where are you going?" Answer:"home." You:"You're not just gonna leave me here like this are you?"
    Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going.
    Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open?
    Does your boyfriend know where you are?
    The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.
    If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?
    (Approach a group of them) I'm gonna have sex with you, you, and you. Alright, who's first?
    (give the person a bottle of tequila) Drink this, then call me when you're ready.
    Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.
    Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? I think he went into this cheap motel room across the street.
    Go up to a girl and say "Let me tell you a story:There was a frog on this side of the mountain(put your finger on her left shoulder with your right hand if you are on her left side or vice versa) and there was a frog on this side of the mountain"(put your finger on her right shoulder with your right hand if you are on her right side or vise versa)Then say "Nevermind, that was a stupid story any way"(while your right arm is still behind the girl on her right side just put your arm around her and leave it there of course)
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  5. #5
    Mav
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    and guess what you dont use any of them

    go figure

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member xdam's Avatar
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    i like some of these, might put them into use next week
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  7. #7
    DF Jedi Gavin M's Avatar
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    "Okay, so I came over here to ask you to dance, but I'm kind of concerned. I mean, we could hit it off really well, end up having a few drinks, next thing you know you're giving me your number because I'm too shy to ask for it, I finally get up the nerve to call and we take in a movie, have some dinner, I relax, you relax, we go out a few more times, get to know each other's friends, spend a lot of time together, then finally have get past this sexual tension and really develop this intense sex life that is truly incredible, decide our relationship is solid and stable, so we move in together for a while, then a few months later get married, I get a promotion, you get a promotion, we buy a bigger house. You really want kids, but I really want freedom, but we have a kid anyway, only to find that I am resentful, the sparks start to fade and to rekindle them we have two more lovely kids, but now I work too much to keep up with the bills, have no time for you, you're stressed and stop taking really good care of yourself, so to get past our slow sex life and my declining self-confidence I turn to an outside affair for sexual gratification. You find out because I'm careless and a lousy liar, you throw me out (justifiably so) and we have to explain to the kids why mommy and daddy are splitting up. That's just too sad. Think about the children. For God's sake, if you dance with me and we hit it off, let's just keep it sexual, because we both know where it's going."

    nah m8 would probley turn her into a dyke!! lol

  8. #8
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    Gavin M make sure you get that one in at the start of the night so you can finish saying it before last orders...


    Time Flies when you're having fun! A decade of DF - April 2002-2012.

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