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  1. #1
    DF Jedi ibobsy's Avatar
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    Default Patient's Hospital Notes

    > > #24 is my fav! Enjoy
    > >
    > >
    > > 1) She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her
    > > husband states she was hot in bed last night.
    > >
    > > 2) Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side
    > > for over a year.
    > >
    > > 3) On the second day the knee was better, and on
    > > the third day it disappeared.
    > >
    > > 4) The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She
    > > also appears to be depressed.
    > >
    > > 5) The patient has been depressed since she
    > > began seeing me in 1993.
    > >
    > > 6) Discharge status: Alive but without my
    > > permission.
    > >
    > > 7) Healthy appearing decrepit 69 year old male,
    > > mentally alert but forgetful.
    > >
    > > 8) The patient refused autopsy.
    > >
    > > 9) The patient has no previous history of suicides.
    > >
    > > 10) Patient has left white blood cells at another
    > > hospital.
    > >
    > > 11) Patient's medical history has been remarkably
    > > insignificant with only a 40 pound weight gain in the
    > > past 3 days
    > >
    > > 12) Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia
    > > for lunch.
    > >
    > > 13) Between you and me, we ought to be able to get
    > > this lady pregnant.
    > >
    > > 14) Since she can't get pregnant with her husband,
    > > I thought you might want to work her up.
    > >
    > > 15) She is numb from her toes down.
    > >
    > > 16) While in ER, she was examined, X-rated and
    > > sent home.
    > >
    > > 17) The skin was moist and dry.
    > >
    > > 18) Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
    > >
    > > 19) Patient was alert and unresponsive.
    > >
    > > 20) Rectal examination revealed a normal sized
    > > thyroid.
    > >
    > > 21) She stated that she had been constipated for
    > > most of her life, until got a divorce.
    > >
    > > 22) I saw your patient today, who is still under our car
    > > for physical therapy.
    > >
    > > 23) Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and
    > > accommodation.
    > >
    > > 24) Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus
    > > sized.
    > >
    > > 25) The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
    > >
    > > 26) The patient was to have a bowel resection.
    > > However, he took a job as a stockbroker instead.
    > >
    > > 27) Skin: somewhat pale but present.
    > >
    > > 28) The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.
    > >
    > > 29) Patient was seen in consultation by Dr Blank,
    > > who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.
    > >
    > > 30) Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.
    > >
    > > 31) Patient has two teenage children, but no other
    > > abnormalities.

  2. #2
    DF PlaYa psibob84's Avatar
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    Default

    number 31 and 27 are quite funny

  3. #3
    DF MaSter Trucho's Avatar
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    Default

    #24 is the funniest

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