Rectum Stretcher

Thread: Rectum Stretcher

  1. ibobsy's Avatar

    ibobsy said:

    Default Rectum Stretcher

    I got sent this one, found it quite funny:

    While I was flying down the road yesterday (only 10 mph over) I
    noticed a cop with a radar gun sitting on top of a bridge. The cop
    pulled me over, walked up to the car and asked me, "What's the hurry?"

    I replied, "I'm late for work."

    "Oh yeah," said the cop, "what do you do?" I responded, "I'm a rectum
    stretcher."

    The cop said "What... a rectum stretcher, and what does a rectum
    stretcher do?"

    I said, "Well, I start with one finger, then I work my way up to two
    fingers, then three, then four, then my whole hand, then I work until
    I can get both hands in there and then I slowly stretch it until it's
    about 6 foot wide."

    The cop asked me, "What the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?" I
    simply replied, "You give him a radar gun and park him on top of a
    bridge..."
     
  2. {film_man}'s Avatar

    {film_man} said:

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    thats not funny
     
  3. mladen's Avatar

    mladen said:

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    no it isnt, the lennox lewis and that killer needle guy was the best
     
  4. DEC2K's Avatar

    DEC2K said:

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    thats quite old now lol hummm
     
  5. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:
    Ive noticed in a few joke links that <film_man> just replies 'thats not funny' to the jokes.

    Where do you come from mate? Wales? cos you've got NO sense of humour. Why dont you post some of your jokes cos you must be the best comedian ever.

    Cheer up you miserable c*nt........


    'lifes too short to bitch and moan......ask my missus - I killed her.'
     
  6. Bob Builder's Avatar

    Bob Builder said:

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    Originally posted by geeWcee
    'lifes too short to bitch and moan......ask my missus - I killed her.'
    - DID YOU!!

    in your other post you said that "Thats not funny" was a crap reply - ut you just said it!!
     
  7. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    its called sarcasm. I said it cos it was film mans joke. Please dont make me explain myself again. I may lose the will to live again.
     
  8. Bob Builder's Avatar

    Bob Builder said:

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    Originally posted by geeWcee
    I may lose the will to live again.
    DO YOU WANT A HAND I CAN CALL ROUND TONIGHT ONT WAY HOME!!
     
  9. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    My God, yor from Meltham. Thats about 10 mins from me. We shud get together and have a beer and you can tell me lots o jokes all nite kid. ;-)
    I need more friends. Ever since moving out to this God-forsaken place called Huddersfield, all my old mates in Bradford have disowned me.........
     
  10. Bob Builder's Avatar

    Bob Builder said:

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    how long you lived in huddersfied? who do you support?
     
  11. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    bradford till i die. I been out here in the sticks for 5 miserable years.
     
  12. Bob Builder's Avatar

    Bob Builder said:

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    same here! fuk me, do you go to all their games!!
     
  13. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    i go to as many as poss. Although I've just had to cancel this Saturdays game cos I'm bloody working ;-( I've given my ticket to a VERY lucky mate of mine. Do you originally come from Bradford then??
     
  14. Bob Builder's Avatar

    Bob Builder said:

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    what do you thing to gordon gibb compared to Geff Richmand?
     
  15. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    erm hes young ;-). Nah he could be good for the club - someone with a bit of ambition in him. We'll have to give him a chance like we did with Richmond. Someone who runs a theme park might have a few good money making schemes for the club which can only be good for us.
     
  16. ABCMan's Avatar

    ABCMan said:

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    jeez, you two fookin complain, at least when you pay the money to your local council they spend it on your area, when i pay it the fookers spend it on your area too , you may guess i'm not that far away either

    you would be suprised how many of us there are within 20 miles of you
     
  17. geeWcee's Avatar

    geeWcee said:

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    Aww boohoo . Let me guess you live in Huddersfax too?