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Thread: A few jokes...

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    DF VIP Member Spennyboy's Avatar
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    Default A few jokes...

    A friend of mine just emailed me over a couple of jokes. Think of these being told in a stand up environment.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    I have a feeling the people that name Volkswagen cars are all upper class men. As they have named all the cars after upper class games. Golf, polo. What's next the Volkswagen backgammon?

    I love music but only hip-hop so at Christmas partys thanking relitives for the cd's they got me is kinda hard as they have no idea what they have bought me. I had to try and describe hip-hop to two people who had had a hip-op.

    I tried to describe who Lil Wayne was but got quickly interupted by my nan reminicing about her friend Lil and how she had a promising music career in the 50s.

    But seriously my grand parents are real cool, slowly losing touch with fashion, but 15 years ago they were the fly as hell. My nan still knows the entire rap from fresh prince of bel air, but like all nan's she changes the words slightly 'I'm gonna tell ya a story all about how, my teeth all started to fall out, it'll only take a minute so sit right there and ride back and fourth in my rocking chair'.

    Lady gaga got somehow more famous when they found out she had a penis.
    It doesn't always work tho, Nadia from big brother is still unsuccessful and she has an Adams apple bigger than my fist.

    I have my theory about Wales, I think it's a bunch of scoucers lost on a stag do, and that's why the language sounds like it was created by a drunk Jamie Carrager.
    It would also go a long way to explaining the inflatable sheep on stag do's.

    There are situations where being famous is a bad thing. Like cheating on your wife, if John Terry was Titus Bramble he would have never have been caught, but Titus Bramble would have had less change with Wayne Bridge's missus so its swings and roundabouts really.
    Last edited by Spennyboy; 7th July 2010 at 04:11 PM.

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    DF VIP Member koola2's Avatar
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    Default Re: A few jokes...

    The first one reminded me of the old joke about Ford calling the next car "Reader's Wives" (after naming two Escort and Fiesta)

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    DF VIP Member Tommy J's Avatar
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    Default Re: A few jokes...

    "But seriously my grand parents are real cool, slowly losing touch with fashion, but 15 years ago they were the fly as hell. My nan still knows the entire rap from fresh prince of bel air, but like all nan's she changes the words slightly 'I'm gonna tell ya a story all about how, my teeth all started to fall out, it'll only take a minute so sit right there and ride back and fourth in my rocking chair'."

    I was expecting the punchline to be about grandparents from Basildon for a moment there, seeing as most of them are 35 year olds and would have watched the original Fresh Prince
    Tommy J

    Big is not always better.... Take Fat people for example.


    Push down Taps, you know it makes sense. Wash Them.

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    DF Rookie fcf156v's Avatar
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    Default Re: A few jokes...

    Quote Originally Posted by Spennyboy View Post
    A friend of mine just emailed me over a couple of jokes. Think of these being told in a stand up environment.

    --------------------------------------------------------

    I have my theory about Wales, I think it's a bunch of scoucers lost on a stag do, and that's why the language sounds like it was created by a drunk Jamie Carrager.
    It would also go a long way to explaining the inflatable sheep on stag do's.
    Now thats what I call funny

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