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  1. #21
    DF VIP Member ThePigDog's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Taff, Jock and Paddy are all sat in the bar discussing how dumb their wives were. Taff starts off my saying "My wifes so dumb, she's just gone and bought a car and can't even drive" Jock pipes up next and says "That's nothing my wifes just started a diet and she's a size 8 model". Paddy chuckling away to himself turns to the others and says "My wifes just gone to Ibiza with the girls and brought 50 condoms, she doesn't even have a cock"

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Roses are red, violets are blue,
    I've got dementure,
    Cheese on toast

  3. #23
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    Detector's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    you heard the one about the irish rapist, he taped her legs together....


    a young teenager took his girlfriend out to lovers hill to 'make out' and after kissing for a while he said to her - "get in the back" and she said NO, he said go on get in the back, she again said NO, he said why not? she said "i want to stay in the front with you".

    lol

    classic bernard
    A wise man once said " "

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by ganjaman2 View Post
    Peter Andre has applied for a job in a Chilean coal mine. He's got four years experience of humping slag Edited
    "
    Lol and I get a ban for being racist
    Last edited by Mickey; 8th June 2011 at 07:26 PM.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Two WPCs out on patrol with their alsatian. One says “I’m cold & I’ve left my knickers at the station.” The other says “Use the dog. Give him a sniff of your fanny & he’ll fetch them for you!” So the dog has a sniff & off he runs back to the station. 2 hrs later he returns with 2 truncheons, a broom & 3 of the desk Sgt’s fingers

  6. #26
    DF VIP Member MajorFU's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?


    Nothing, she's already been told twice.

  7. #27
    DF VIP Member vladivar's Avatar
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    2 flies sitting on a shite.One farts the other says "Do you mind I'm at my dinner"

    Sent from my GT-I9000 using Tapatalk

  8. #28
    DF VIP Member darkstar's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    3 Office Girls in a lift notice a stain on the wall. The Yorkshire lass says, 'That looks like spunk!' The Cockney girl sniffs it & says, 'Smells like spunk too!' The Scouse chick licks it & says, 'Well, it's nobody from our Office!'

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    The Sun:
    Kerry Katona 'Men Keep Chasing After Me in the Street '
    They are called drug dealers Kerry.
    Pay your debts you fat slag!

  10. #30
    DF VIP Member ganjaman2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    police warning
    Warning from Strathclyde Police.

    Homeowners are being warned about 4 keys that can open 73% of doors, 84% of cars, 99% of houses.


    ***Removed by Mr Olympia***

  11. #31
    DF Admin Mr Olympia's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by ganjaman2 View Post
    police warning
    Warning from Strathclyde Police.

    Homeowners are being warned about 4 keys that can open 73% of doors, 84% of cars, 99% of houses.


    ***Removed by Mr Olympia***
    You've got to be kidding me. You're lucky that I spotted that otherwise you'd be shitbinned!

    Think before you post in future please.

  12. #32
    DF Probation russbeer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    i saw the post before editted. You are a lucky man Ganja!

  13. #33
    DF VIP Member andyinlondon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    What is the diference between a dick and a light bulb?

    you can go to sleep with a light on..........
    If at first you don't succeed, then sky-diving's not for you.

  14. #34
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by andyinlondon View Post
    What is the diference between a dick and a light bulb?

    you can go to sleep with a light on..........
    Did you read the title of this thread

    Cheapreefer on instagram

  15. #35
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by andyinlondon View Post
    What is the diference between a dick and a light bulb?

    you can go to sleep with a light on..........

    I think the joke should be...

    What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'.....
    What if the Hokey Cokey "IS" what it's all about?

  16. #36
    DF Moderator
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    Default Re: Lets here some of your best Jokes!

    Quote Originally Posted by pete252 View Post
    I think the joke should be...

    What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'.....
    The joke now makes sense!

    @ andyinlondon close the door on your way out will ya

    Cheapreefer on instagram

  17. #37
    DF VIP Member andyinlondon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets hear some of your best Jokes!

    Got you thinking about it though
    If at first you don't succeed, then sky-diving's not for you.

  18. #38
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    Default Re: Lets hear some of your best Jokes!

    The top 5 footballers from the 2010-11 season have been announced;


    Giggs

    Cort

    Given

    Thomas

    De Koch

  19. #39
    DF VIP Member sirdave's Avatar
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    wayne rooney has used colleens pubic hair for his hair transplant ! Apparently the success rate is much higher if transplanted from one cunt to another

    Sent from my HTC Desire using Tapatalk

  20. #40
    DF VIP Member ivrytwr3's Avatar
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    Default Re: Lets hear some of your best Jokes!

    what's the difference between marmalde and jam?

    You can't marmalade your dick up a birds arse.

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