Anyone had piles?

[consoles]

Fuck me my arse is killing me, last few days been uncomfortable but this morning I could hardly walk.

Luckily i've got them internal (for now) which from what I hear is a godsend, doc given me some steroid butt plugs to shove in my arse twice a day

Anyone else had the bum grapes?, could do with some tips for keeping the pain in the arse at bay.

[Zippeyrude]

was the butt plug the doctor gave you like this one?
if so, try some lube to ease the pain

[ilscuro]

I've got farmer giles mate, can go ages with no problem, then eating something dodgy, and they're like fuckin grapes sticking out of my arse which is no laughing matter Zippy lol

My doctor said when they flare up just sit on ice cubes, either that or he can arrange for me to have an op and have them removed, which i don't fancy at all.

Apologies to anyone eating while reading this lol

[russbeer]

I've had them, had a grape sticking out of me arse for about 2 weeks and it was irritating as fuck. I used anusol (cream with unpleasant "applicator") and it went away. A guy at work struggles with them a lot, and finds the best way is to literally push them back in with your finger with the cream on rather than using the applicator.

My dad had the op years ago. You end up sitting on one of those sponge rings for about a fortnight and feels like you've just shit broken glass after being raped by Mike Tyson.

[MsDG]

Have you tried this?

Spoiler:

[bbshark]

i had piles once. id been to the toilet and it got covered in blood. had them removed no problem. dont know about not being able to sit for a while i was up and about same day.
Just tied them up so they died off themselves.

[AD]

My missus has suffered from them since the birth of our first son, Some times its like shes on the rag when shes been on the loo.

She needs them tieing off but have heard all the horror stories about the pain.

-=AD=-

[BertRoot]

I have a mate who had his ass rebored as he had chronic piles. Poor cunt was in agony for ages but they gave him some cream to tighten his ass back up which he accidentally put on his face when he was getting ready. When we picked him up he looked ten years younger. Oil of Ulay should get in on that one.

[consoles]

You bunch of cunts, do you know how much it hurts when you laugh when you have piles.

[bbshark]

My missus has suffered from them since the birth of our first son, Some times its like shes on the rag when shes been on the loo.

She needs them tieing off but have heard all the horror stories about the pain.

-=AD=-

I had no pain and was up and about that day. Mind you I'd had no pain with them anyway just the once I got blood and the tablets I was on had the side affect of bowel problems. so was a matter of getting checked right away.

[richibeno]

try creams first ,you can get them injected they will shrink,diet is a major playor ,plenty of fibre and water ,cut out white bread and crusty bread crisps ect

[CzarJunkie]

Whatever you do, don't try what my mate did. He took one of his mum's smaller dildos and tried to push his piles back in with it. As he was an 'anal virgin' he decided to coat said dildo liberally with baby oil. He then pushed it so far up his arse his colon sucked it in and with his hands being greasy from the baby oil, he lost grip and his arse swallowed it.

Try as he might he couldn't get it out and had to take a very embarrasing trip to A&E on the bus because he couldn't sit down. He said the bus was virtually empty, but the driver and few people on the bus thought he was a fucking weirdo as he stood all the way to the hospital. Then, just when he thought things couldn't get any worse, his Auntie was the sister on duty in A&E.

His nickname ever since has been 'Pocket Pinky', the brand of the dildo extracted from his arse.

[consoles]

Well the so called piles was in fact an abscess on my left butt cheek, had it lanced etc but fuck me when they repack it(everyday) it hurts like holy hell.
Got 2-3 weeks of showing my arse to the nurse at the local doc's everyday who reminds me of Nanny Mcfee, hair growing out of a facial mole the lot lol.