My night out

[RSV]

Ok so I woke up this morning at 5am on the sofa completely naked apart from a towel on my face and I'd pissed the sofa! Went out for my brother in laws stag drinks yesterday & drunk shed loads of cider. I actually can't remember anything past about 9oclock. Apparently I insisted on going topless for most of the evening, got refused entry to hooters & a load of bars because of my drunkeness. Apparently I then proceeded to try to shag a statue of a gorilla in Bristol city centre with my cock out and everything, I also tried talking my father in law into going to a parlour with me & getting a "massage" as if that wasn't bad enough it turns out that I fell over & smacked my head on a metal bench cutting the bridge of my nose and just above my right eye which will be great for the wedding photos on Saturday! The morale of this story is don't drink rough cider two days before a wedding especially a drink called old bristolian which is 8.5%suppose I should of realised there was going to be trouble when the bar staff told me they'd only sell that cider in half pints.

[Zoots]

All that on just booze? Nothing powering you through and stopping you collapsing..??

[RSV]

Nope just booze mate. That's another thing I'm in trouble for tho cos my mrs looked at my phone & seen that I had sent a text to my mate asking if he could get me some coke (haven't done that in years!"

[Zoots]

Fair play.
Fortunately I usually collapse just after arriving at the point where I'm being a tit, unless I've had a little help along the way.
Your missus looks at your phone though? Fuck that!

[RSV]

She dosent usually look at my phone but apparently it fell out of my pocket when I got naked as soon as I got in the house & she'd been trying to call me all night

[BertRoot]

Oops. Take it you didn't get a nosh when you got home then.

[RSV]

Not a chance Bert. I'm surprised she's talking to me too be honest

[Zoots]

Just send yourself a text apologising. She's bound to see it.

[rids]

Mmm that will be the coronation tap pub then. The best start to any night

[ilscuro]

Sounds like a top night in my book, i remember fondly the times going out, when i was married, causing mayhem and the missus not talking to me for ages.

[RSV]

Not the corrie tap rids (Alltho that was part of the plan) we were at "the apple"

[Mystical_2K]

3 words mate

dinner, chocolates & flowers

(thats not an offer from me btw )

[flumperino]

Sounds like a top night that.Life's not worth living if you don't occasionally wake up with a patchy memory, but the dinstinct nagging feeling that some embarrassing stuff went on, and then you have to find out from other people just how much of a cock you were

[matthewy2]

Love those nights, enjoy it mate you only live once

[super mike]

How'd I Miss this the first time round? Sounds like a pretty successful night apart from the urine.

[ThE gOg]

lol, made me laugh

would of been even more awkward if your father inlaw had agreed to the "massage"....