Close

Results 1 to 14 of 14
  1. #1
    DF Moderator
    CallmeGoose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Norwich
    Posts
    3,534
    Thanks
    2,535
    Thanked:        1,292
    Karma Level
    390

    Oh Shit Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    As the title says. Whats the worst lie you have told and got away with? For me it has to have been how I cheated on my ex, almost got caught out as her sisters boyfriend caught me in the act with this other bird (was on a night out). Luckily enough, my ex, her sister and everyone else for that fact hated this guy so they never believed him. The guy got my number and started sending threatening messages. Showed them to his missus (ex's sister) and they split up.

    Blatantly denied it to my ex's face, and it came to a point where we were going to break up but I managed to convince her he was lying.

    Feel guilty as sin to this day.

    Another thing I did was (not really a lie), but it was pretty nasty as fuck of me to do this, was that I reported the same ex and her family to the benefit fraud squad. The dad was claiming he was living alone, to get his daughters a flat - fully paid for. He was also claiming disability benefit, so was his wife, whilst they were perfectly fucking healthy. Fuckers were raking it in, and bought land and a plot in Bulgaria to start building the house. Anyway, needless to say the fraud squad caught them out and they lost EVERYTHING, and i mean everything, car, the flat, the house the parents were staying in, all their benefits etc. The thing that drove me to this was that my mother was genuinely disabled, and was denied benefits because my father, at the time, earned £17 more than the allowance for her to be entitled. was fucking outraged whilst these cunts led a good life. Dont feel guilty or bad about doing that though.....

    Anyway. best lie and ill buy the winner a pint

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member GTI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    7,691
    Thanks
    1,563
    Thanked:        2,205
    Karma Level
    1079

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    I once stole £50 from my mum's purse, and proceeded to have the weekend of my life with a couple of mates. We went to the pictures, ate out at Pizza hut, bought Swiss army knives and went wild on woolies pic n mix.. all on me. The day of reckoning came on Monday when my mum told my dad. He came upto my room and very calmly asked whether I had taken the money. I swore blind that I hadn't, and even offered to swear an oath on a copy of my King James bible. He warned me that if I swore on the Bible I would burn in hell fire for eternity if I was lying, I willing accepted and took the solemn oath.

    To this day I still feel too ashamed to admit to him that I had lied, and even perjured my soul.
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
    -Benjamin Franklin

  3. #3
    DF Probation macmilm's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2000
    Location
    Suffolk, UK
    Posts
    3,817
    Thanks
    1,662
    Thanked:        1,295
    Karma Level
    558

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    Told a series of ridiculuos lies when I was about 17 to impress a girl ...
    Dint have a drivin license but got a mate who had a job at insurance brokers to get me a dodgy cover note (in an older mates name who had a driving license)
    Then hired a car for the day to take said girl out (with borrowed mates license)... Got pulled on M1 near sheffield, shit myself and in panic gave older mates name and details and got away with it....

    Never done anything that dumb again (well maybe)

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member cassy34's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Lytham
    Posts
    1,453
    Thanks
    246
    Thanked:        181
    Karma Level
    359

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    I usually get found out, but not this time...

    This goes back to when my lad was about 18 months old, walking but not talking. One afternoon, my missus lost her keys. She usually keeps them in the door but they were not to be seen anywhere. So, after around an hour's searching with me saying the useful things like "Where did you have them last" etc, I was looking in the bedroom when I happened to pick up a pair of shorts I'd been wearing earlier that day and noticed a jingling sound coming from the pocket. Fucksocks! I'd used her keys earlier that day to get into my car and, as such, would be in a tremendous amount of shit. That's when I hatched my dreadful plan. I took the keys and planted them in the toy box... After around 5 more minutes of "searching" I found the keys. "Jonny must have taken them out of the door and put them in his toy box". "Gurgle burble dada" he protested, but I totally got away with it. I don't feel proud for framing my son, but it did get me out of a large amount of poo.

    4 Thanks given to cassy34

    CallmeGoose (13th August 2012),  dingle_666 (21st August 2012),  GTI (13th August 2012),  Over Carl (13th August 2012)  


  5. #5
    DF VIP Member GTI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    7,691
    Thanks
    1,563
    Thanked:        2,205
    Karma Level
    1079

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    Although not an outright lie, I went through a bit of a Jarvis Cocker phase at uni, wearing tartan trousers and flowery shirts. This quickly marked me out as a bit of a mincer, but being the mid-90s and down sarf.. it was all cool. Anyway my easy banter, whimsical flourishes and boyish looks meant that I was quickly making friends with quite a few of the girlies, perhaps in their minds looking to be my fag-hags. Now being gay, or pretending to be gives you a number of advantages in that their guards are usually down and you start to hear all sorts of weird shit e.g. what colour their period was, who they fancy, who's fucking who? etc..

    Unfortunately I never got to see any of them undress, feel their boobs or any of that other Hollywood shit. It all just petered out, and I was soon back to being the tit obsessed perv at the back of the lecture hall.
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
    -Benjamin Franklin

    Thanks to GTI

    cassy34 (13th August 2012)  


  6. #6
    VIP Member CzarJunkie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Atlantis
    Posts
    13,754
    Thanks
    832
    Thanked:        3,225
    Karma Level
    1992

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    I spread a rumour at school that someone was gay and he committed suicide. He was camp as fuck but it turned out he was one of them straight gays, like Duncan Norvelle. I felt like a right cunt. Imagine my old school pals surprise some 15 years later at a school reunion when I came out. The fucking irony...........

    3 Thanks given to CzarJunkie

    BertRoot (15th August 2012),  GTI (14th August 2012),  tombott (15th August 2012)  


  7. #7
    DF VIP Member Spike2k1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Darkside
    Posts
    1,864
    Thanks
    71
    Thanked:        30
    Karma Level
    364

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    I fucked a unicorn....or did i?
    Meh....

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member GTI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    7,691
    Thanks
    1,563
    Thanked:        2,205
    Karma Level
    1079

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    Truth is the biggest lie most of you will ever utter is 'I love you'
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
    -Benjamin Franklin

  9. #9
    DF Moderator
    ss30's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2001
    Location
    Oxford
    Posts
    4,976
    Thanks
    414
    Thanked:        597
    Karma Level
    558

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I once stole £50 from my mum's purse, and proceeded to have the weekend of my life with a couple of mates. We went to the pictures, ate out at Pizza hut, bought Swiss army knives and went wild on woolies pic n mix.. all on me. The day of reckoning came on Monday when my mum told my dad. He came upto my room and very calmly asked whether I had taken the money. I swore blind that I hadn't, and even offered to swear an oath on a copy of my King James bible. He warned me that if I swore on the Bible I would burn in hell fire for eternity if I was lying, I willing accepted and took the solemn oath.

    To this day I still feel too ashamed to admit to him that I had lied, and even perjured my soul.
    Your going to burn in hell m8

    Cheapreefer on instagram

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member
    Hangman's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2002
    Location
    Manchester
    Posts
    1,464
    Thanks
    207
    Thanked:        158
    Karma Level
    335

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    When I was 17 I had an accident in my dads car flipped it on it roof and completely wrote it off, after this my dad told me he was taking me off his insurance and would never let me drive his car again. So here I was 17/18 years old can't afford my own car and never get to drive so I started taking my dads car out late on a Sat night early Sunday mornings when I was completely wankered. One night I came back from the pub so pissed I could hardly stand and decided I fancied a drive I got his keys and reversed out of the drive straight into a neighbours car parked across the road. I immediately drove the car back into the drive and went to bed. The next day when I got up my dad and the neighbour were talking about what might have happened, my dads car had a broken tail light and the neighbours car had a nice dent in the side, I casually wandered up and joined in the conversation and eventually came up with the only possible explanation that it must have been joy riders in a stolen car pulling handbrake turns crashing into the neighbours car and then reversing into my dads.

    It now seems like the worst excuse ever but they bought it and I never told my dad the truth.


    Its better to burn out than to fade away...............

    Thanks to Hangman

    dirtyrider (24th August 2012)  


  11. #11
    DF VIP Member rIKmAN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2002
    Location
    Stafford
    Posts
    6,502
    Thanks
    1,061
    Thanked:        645
    Karma Level
    635

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    "Course I've got a condom on"

    (used numerous times whilst working summer seasons abroad in Faliraki and Malia)

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member Bilbo_baggin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2004
    Location
    Lancashire
    Posts
    8,712
    Thanks
    2,328
    Thanked:        2,634
    Karma Level
    970

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    Said to a girlfriend one night "No, I won't cum in your mouth..."

    Thanks to Bilbo_baggin

    Mr Men (16th August 2012)  


  13. #13
    DF VIP Member Thrush's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2001
    Location
    Near Mt. Fuji
    Posts
    8,409
    Thanks
    184
    Thanked:        132
    Karma Level
    808

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    hahahahahaha.

    While at secondary school I told a girl (who I was infatuated with at the time) that I wanted her to keep hold of my locket (some piece I "borrowed" from my mother) I wanted her to keep it because I was being chased by men from the African army and I didn't know if I would survive, so if I didn't make it I wanted her to remember me.

    Jesus.

  14. #14
    DF VIP Member
    BigBird's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    WALES
    Posts
    2,003
    Thanks
    1,412
    Thanked:        1,585
    Karma Level
    403

    Default Re: Worst lie you have told (and got away with) ?

    I've got nothing to add to this thread because I just don't lie. Never have done and never will (">

Similar Threads

  1. I told you so
    By ABCMan in forum The Dog and Duck
    Replies: 89
    Last Post: 9th May 2004, 11:23 PM
  2. Possibly the best fix for the worst executer install!!!
    By Gel in forum Microsoft Consoles
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: 23rd November 2002, 11:11 AM
  3. Worst Kit !
    By fantom in forum Football
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 19th November 2002, 02:09 PM
  4. [REVIEW] What's The Worst That Could Happen
    By BONE in forum Movie Talk
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 18th October 2002, 11:51 PM
  5. what is the worst game you have ever burned ?
    By spek in forum Sony Consoles
    Replies: 67
    Last Post: 18th September 2002, 04:27 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •