Wot an Achievement!!!!

[macmilm]

OK heard people talk of a bucket/wish list and it may come into that...

Anyway since I moved back to the seaside (felixstowe) I kind of had an itch!!!

So was on the beach late afternoon early evening today with the missus and 2 o the kids, when the oldest one their started buggin me to go swim in the sea with him..
after about 20 mins I thought ok ok ok shut up I am comin in...
Typical kids.. I get in 10 mins later he gets out....
This got me thinking ... Wot would it be like to take a shit in the sea????? (Why the fuck not)
After minutes of contemplation.. down come the shorts.. (quite far out - treadin water)
Tried a few positions but the most comfortable seemed to be leaning forward... arse out the back - shorts round me feet....
Squeezed like fuck.... don't worry I already had a hand full of seaweed for the wipe.

Finished and turned round to see I light brown floater about 6 inch from my head.... FUCK
Luckily for me the tide was moving away from me...

I know it sounds sad as fook but been proppa chuffed all evening like I really achieved something.....
Wot a twat..

(P.S Yes I do use too many ........(dots))

[wakadoo]

what no wank ??....shame on you..

[macmilm]

what no wank ??....shame on you..

Gotta be honest .. Its nearly september and the water is fukin cold....
It would have been like rubbin a party sausage with a boxin glove.. so I went for the shit instead..

[DejaVu]

Are you sure that floater was yours? It IS Felixstowe after all!

[macmilm]

Was probably an immigrant's with his arse over the side of a container ship lol

[AD]

all i had in my head reading that was Kevin and Perry psml

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2

[Realist]

Side of my house is a lane and some wanker has dropped the biggest fucking turd known to man right against the wall of my next door neighbor.

Was it you Macmilm?

[macmilm]

Side of my house is a lane and some wanker has dropped the biggest fucking turd known to man right against the wall of my next door neighbor.

Was it you Macmilm?

Next time I'll stick a flag on top so you know its me...... Was their sweetcorn in it ?

[Realist]

No sweetcorn just a poxy big brown lump of shit

[Mr Men]

Thats some Sick Salty shit m8.

[TAR]

Lol, i was just on hol last week in the med ocean, and I found it hard just to piss in the sea let alone shit. That took some straining? lol

[macmilm]

Must admit .. for whateva reason u gotta strain much harder than on the can.... dunno why?? Its not like the tide is trying to get up ur arse...
I reckon its a mental thing...
Still managed to squeeze out a cable tho

Not gonna start up a website or anything...

http://www.felixstoweshittings.com/m...sweetcorn.html

[macmilm]

Need to lay another cable now actually !!!!!! But it is way too cold to go out to sea...
Think I will let armitage shanks swallow it instead lol
Prolly end up in the same place anyway

"Thanks thanks thanks armitage shanks !!" anyone else remember Sultans of Ping ??????