Viz top tip

[Mr.James]

Pretend you're Alex Ferguson by retiring then going into work every day to stare at the bloke that got your old job


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[billynoguts]

I Like this one!
Get the feeling of having a gravel drive by glueing rice krispies to your tyres just before you arrive home.

[jibbo]

CINEMAGOERS: Show some consideration for pirate DVD viewers by using the toilet before the film starts!

or

MICRA DRIVERS: Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the thing like a fucking dodgem anyway so why not look the part!