Close

View Poll Results: Will you join me on this wank free crusade?

Voters
22. You may not vote on this poll
  • I'm with you bud... lets do this

    8 36.36%
  • Na you're alright mate... I don't have an issue

    8 36.36%
  • Sounds interesting... I'll see how you go first

    6 27.27%
Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234
Results 61 to 71 of 71
  1. #61
    DF PwNagE Geko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    5,971
    Thanks
    1,175
    Thanked:        1,281
    Karma Level
    572

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    lol....

    My vow of celibacy is broken. But.... I am still wank free. Don't know how long it will last.

    Thanks to Geko

    GTI (20th January 2015) 


  2. #62
    DF PwNagE flumperino's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2004
    Location
    Isle of flumps
    Posts
    9,574
    Thanks
    514
    Thanked:        650
    Karma Level
    853

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    lol, you guys are rubbish.....didn't even make it till the end of January

    Thanks to flumperino

    GTI (20th January 2015) 


  3. #63
    DF PwNagE Geko's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Earth
    Posts
    5,971
    Thanks
    1,175
    Thanked:        1,281
    Karma Level
    572

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Small steps.

    Thanks to Geko

    GTI (20th January 2015) 


  4. #64
    DF Moderator piggzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    3,198
    Thanks
    2,712
    Thanked:        1,413
    Karma Level
    273

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Gotta be honest. Still genuinely not wanked. Have had a few shags but absolutely no rendezvous with Madam Palm and her five loverly daughters.
    Had even forgot about this thread, just not had opportunity.

    To be fair there isn't much more abuse it can take after a good couple of decades of love pump.

    Thanks to piggzy

    GTI (20th January 2015) 


  5. #65
    DF Super Moderator Over Carl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    London
    Posts
    13,079
    Thanks
    3,831
    Thanked:        1,654
    Karma Level
    1270

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    I didn't even think about a wank for 5 weeks due to the meds I was on. No shagging either

    Unfortunately I cannot say I noticed much difference due to that, except I shot a shitload when I did eventually have one.

  6. #66
    DF VIP Member GTI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    7,682
    Thanks
    1,557
    Thanked:        2,189
    Karma Level
    1148

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
    -Benjamin Franklin

    6 Thanks given to GTI

    BertRoot (26th August 2016), CzarJunkie (26th August 2016), Ganty (26th August 2016), Northernbloke (26th August 2016), piggzy (26th August 2016), prezzy (26th August 2016) 


  7. #67
    DF Super Moderator Ganty's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Leicester
    Posts
    9,242
    Thanks
    908
    Thanked:        616
    Karma Level
    1194

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
    Doggy style and yoghurt. I'm sure she fakes it on occasion, so it's only fair.

    Good luck my friend!

    3 Thanks given to Ganty

    Delboy_1976 (27th August 2016), GTI (27th August 2016), piggzy (26th August 2016) 


  8. #68
    DF Moderator piggzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2014
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    3,198
    Thanks
    2,712
    Thanked:        1,413
    Karma Level
    273

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)
    Apparently nothing beats oats in rapid spunk production. Was also told the highly processed readybrek style glupe is useless. Gotta be proper rolled oats .

    Enjoy your night... look forward to the pictures.

    Thanks to piggzy

    GTI (27th August 2016) 


  9. #69
    VIP Member CzarJunkie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Atlantis
    Posts
    13,756
    Thanks
    832
    Thanked:        3,219
    Karma Level
    2169

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by GTI View Post
    I was working from home today so obviously wanked myself into oblivion on some rather tasty Spanish amateur shit ([Only registered and activated users can see links. ]). Then missus just waltzes in, hair done, sexy new red outfit and whispers in my ear that the kids are going to the babysitter tonight.

    I feel like a fucking husk of a man, nothing left save some watery gruel. Apart from an icecold bath and plenty of fluids, any other tips? (fast acting preferably)


    Tell her you've found a lump on one of your testicles and you are shitting blood. When she tries to console you, shun her and tell her you need to be alone. Storm out of the house and jump in the motor, then drive off with a wheel spin. Book into a local B&B, preferably a boutique type affair who only serve water in glass bottles, and get a good nights rest.

    Return home the next morning as though nothing has happened. When she asks where you have been, look at her as though she's crazy and say that you've just been to take the rubbish out. Whatever happens, and no matter how vexed she becomes, keep up the pretence, as the temptation to come clean will be most strongest about this time.

    Insist you slept in the same bed right next to her as you do every night and she is clearly having some kind of delusional episode. Eventually she will begin to break and question the very nature of her reality. Once you spot her beginning to unravel, suggest a couple of industrial strength temazepam from your 'samples' cabinet and a lie down while you contact Dr. Fassbender from the Institute to see if her psychosis is permanent.

    When she eventually comes round, tell her she has been in a coma for 6 years and you have remarried and now have another family. Add extra realism by hiring a child actor to play one of your children as their older self, who will stand by her bedside and nod to confirm your story, and weep occasionally. When she asks who the child is, have him/her throw themselves on top of her and scream 'It's me mummy, it's me'.

    What you do next is up to you, the most important thing is that now you have options. You could have her sectioned if the marriage isn't what it used to be, and the receptionist at the B&B was giving you the eye. Another way to go would be continuing with an endless cycle of benzodiazepine induced sleep followed by waking episodes of psychosis, just to see how that turns out.

    Let us know how you get on.

    5 Thanks given to CzarJunkie

    BertRoot (26th August 2016), cyprus (26th August 2016), Ganty (26th August 2016), GTI (27th August 2016), piggzy (27th August 2016) 


  10. #70
    DF Super Moderator BertRoot's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Poppy Fields
    Posts
    23,888
    Thanks
    1,005
    Thanked:        2,016
    Karma Level
    2649

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Quote Originally Posted by CzarJunkie View Post
    Let us know how you get on.
    Inspirational. Thanks CJ.

    Thanks to BertRoot

    GTI (27th August 2016) 


  11. #71
    DF VIP Member GTI's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    Switzerland
    Posts
    7,682
    Thanks
    1,557
    Thanked:        2,189
    Karma Level
    1148

    Default Re: GTi's No FAP (masturbation) resolution thread

    Thanks all, somehow I managed to deliver the goods (twice in fact), however next time I would appreciate it if she sent me an Outlook invite.
    It does highlight how much the real thing is far more pleasurable than tugging along to an endless stream of fake actors... time for me to go back on my No Fap diet.
    "You have reached the end of you free trial membership at BenjaminFranklinQuotes.com"
    -Benjamin Franklin

    Thanks to GTI

    akimba (30th August 2016) 


Page 4 of 4 FirstFirst 1234

Similar Threads

  1. Masturbation
    By MonkeySputum in forum The Comedy Club
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 18th May 2006, 01:18 PM
  2. 31 Very Bad Masturbation Ideas
    By shadowdancer in forum The Dog and Duck
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 29th October 2005, 12:27 PM
  3. Masturbation name generator
    By Epiphany in forum The Dog and Duck
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 4th May 2005, 12:14 PM
  4. Masturbation
    By Nikki in forum Hall Of Shame
    Replies: 19
    Last Post: 10th June 2003, 06:59 PM

Social Networking Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •