WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!!!
If you enjoyed Prometheus like I did im sure you went into this thinking it would be a true sequel, it really isnt, Alien Covenant is a huge mess that doesnt know what its trying to be.
Firstly, the cast is shit and not a single person do you care about, the character development is non-existent, the only 2 people who's names I got were David and Walter - neither of which are technically people!
So we will kill off the only human survivor of Prometheus behind the scenes and display a lovely photo stating that poor Elizabeth was used as genetic material to grow the Xenomorphs, don't get me wrong she was fucking annoying in Prometheus (especially with her alcoholic rapist boyfriend) but deserved a better sending off than that.
Apparently David has created the Xenomorphs through tampering with the DNA of the Black Goo and mixing it with human DNA, so as far as timelines go this instantly discounts AVP (shame i rather liked it) and AVP:R (no fucking loss right there) - since the Xenomorphs are meant to be thousands of years old but if David created them then by the time the original Alien movie rolls around they are under 30 years old, also there was an Engineers mural in the urn room in Prometheus that showed the Xenomorph pretty much as we know it, if the engineers had already encountered it then how can David have created it recently?
Alien Covenant - 2093
Alien - 2122
This does raise the question of how they found a crashed ship in the original Alien full of eggs that had been there for a couple of thousand years (its stated in the movie that the original alien pilot they found (Space Jockey) had been there so long that it had fossilised)
So unless Time Travel is involved I dont see how that ship can exist with the eggs on it.
So back to Covenant, you have a ship with 2,000 people in Hypersleep and 1,500 embryo's onboard heading to colonise a new planet, apparently the captain thinks its a great idea to just stop off and inspect another planet that may be able to support them instead (are you fucking kidding me!)
Lets just scrap at the surveys, tests and simulations to just jump straight in and see whats down there, in real life im sure it would have just been flagged up and a message sent back to earth asking them to investigate and they would have continued on.
The whole final twist at the end with David and Walter, if theres someone out there who didnt see that coming the minute their was 2 identical looking androids on board was clearly not paying attention.
Some other minor gripes:
The Black Goo - this shit is truly magic as it does whatever is needed at the time
CGI - this was not very good
So in a nutshell I did not like it
thoughts?
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