Fastest thing in life

An Englishman, Welshman, Scotsman and an Irishman
were all sitting down discussing what is the fastest thing in life.

After much deliberation the Englishman said, "I
believe it is the process of thought, it comes to one in a flash"

"Good try" agreed the Scot, "but I think Blinking is even quicker."

"Pretty good but not quick enough," quipped the Welshman.
" I am sure Electricity is faster, just think if you hit any
light switch you get instant light"

After a few moments Paddy cut in," I believe you all
have valid points but I think Diarrhoea wins!"

"What the hell ! are you talking about, Paddy?"
chimed the three other guys.

"Well it is like this. Last night I went down to the
local curry house for a vindaloo, which I washed down
with 12 pints of Guinness, I then retired to bed.
However at 3 o'clock in the morning, before I could
think, blink or turn the light on, I sh1t myself!