Ever get the feeling you've cut your nose to off to spite your face?
Chapter 1
It was just an ordinary day, on Tuesday 18th of September, with Ganty busy at work. All of a sudden, he received a phone call. This triggered a chain of events which would alter his life forever...Spoiler:
My phone rang. It was an 0800 number. I flicked my collar up, glanced around. There was no one who could eavesdrop.
I answered the phone
"This is Santander" said the automated voice. "The fraud department".
"Huh", I scoffed. Because obviously the fraud department is staffed by robots.
I hung up. I'm not gonna confirm anything to a robot, I've been around the block enough times to smell a scam, hell, I knew Lee Elwood.
My day after that point was inconsequential. I got home, showered, tried to relax.
But then I remembered the call.
I stared at my phone, thinking of reverse searching the number that called me earlier.
I didn't need to.
The phone rang again.
Chapter 2
The same automated drone, this time it seemed edgy, breathless. Maybe I imagined it. Maybe the robot gained sentience and realised the urgency of the situation.
I hung up again, and decided to take matter into my own hands.
I called the bank.
Chapter 3
I navigated deftly through menus and security procedures. No robot would hold me to ransom, I decided. I spoke to a person, an actual human, and once we were both satisfied with our credentials, they proceeded to explain that I had been victim of bank fraud. My debit card had been cloned.
The bank knew who I was, and knew I was not to be messed with, so they didn't allow a single penny to leave my account. An elite haxx0r group had attempted multiple transactions to uber. The bank knew I wouldn't be seen dead in an uber, so they blocked everything.
They also blocked my card.
Chapter 4
Trying to forget the ordeal of the week, I sat at home nursing a small scotch, no ice. I flicked on the TV set and thought it'd be a good time to catch up with some of my favourite shows. I pressed Netflix, logged in. Found my show. Hit play.
Nothing.
Except a small notification.
Please update you're billing information
Chapter 5
I panicked, sweat glistening on my forehead. I jumped onto my PC, checked gmail. An email, from Netflix, dated yesterday. They charged my card. The bank bounced it. Damn these hackers were good. They found my achilles heel.
I started a conversation with netflix support. Explained the situation. Surely they knew who I was, what I was capable of. They'd have me back up and on it in no time at all.
I was wrong.
A lengthy email exchange took place, and I uttered the words which I will regret for the rest of my life.
Please cancel my Netflix account.
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