King Arthur

[ibobsy]

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a
neighbouring celtic kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was
moved by Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as
he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to
figure out the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be
put to death. The question was: "What do women really want?"

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man and to young
Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death,
he accepted the monarch's proposition to have an answer by the year's end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everybody: the princesses, the
pr0stitutes, the priests, the wise men, and the court jester. In all, he
spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. What
most people did tell him was to consult the old witch, as only she would
know the answer.

The price would be high, since the witch was famous throughout the kingdom
for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk
to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept
her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of
the Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend! Young Arthur was
horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth,
smelled like sewage water, often made obscene noises, and had discoloured
skin. He had never run across such a repugnant creature. He refused to force
his friend to marry her and have to endure such a burden.

However, Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told
him that nothing was too big a sacrifice in order to save Arthur's life and
preserve the Round Table. Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch
answered Arthur's question: "What a woman really wants is to be able to be
in charge of her own life."

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that
Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighbouring monarch
spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and
anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch
put her worst manners on display and generally made everyone very
uncomfortable.

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night,
entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd
ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.
The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a
witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self and the other
half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her to be
during the day and which during the night?
What a cruel question! Gawain began to think of his predicament.

During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night,
in the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch? Or would he prefer having
by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful woman to enjoy many
intimate moments?

What would you do? What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read on until
you've made your own choice.................
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Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.
Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time
because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

What is the moral of this story?
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The moral is that it doesn't matter if your woman is pretty or ugly.
Underneath it all, she's still a witch and don't you forget it.

[ibobsy]

a.. If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from
the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

b.. If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

c.. If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

d.. If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

e.. If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay,this is
exploitation.

f.. If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should
get off your ass and find something better.

g.. If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

h.. If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

i.. If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

j.. If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

k.. If you cry, you're a wimp. If you don't, you're an
insensitive *******.

l.. If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

m.. If she thumps you, it's self-defense.

n.. If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a
chauvinist.

o.. If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a
liberated woman.

p.. If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's
domination.

q.. If she asks you, it's a favor.

r.. If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear,
you're a pervert.

s.. If you don't, you're gay.

t.. If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape,
you're sexist.

u.. If you don't, you're unromantic.

v.. If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

w.. If you don't, you're a slob.

x.. If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

y.. If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

z.. If you're proud of your achievements, you're full of
yourself.

aa.. If you don't, you're not ambitious.

ab.. If she has a headache, she's tired.

ac.. If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

ad.. If you want it too often, you're oversexed.

ae.. If you don't, there must be someone else.


NO WONDER MEN DIE BEFORE WOMEN! THEY WANT TO!!

Sorry put here by mistake ,it should have been another post.

[wadgey]

i like the first one