To the tune of "If you're happy and you know it"

If you cannot find Osama, bomb Iraq.
If the markets are a drama, bomb Iraq.
If the terrorists are frisky,
Pakistan is looking shifty,
North Korea is too risky,
Bomb Iraq.

If we have no allies with us, bomb Iraq.
If we think someone has dissed us, bomb Iraq.
So to hell with the inspections,
Let's look tough for the elections,
Close your mind and take directions,
Bomb Iraq.

It's "pre-emptive non-aggression", bomb Iraq.
Let's prevent this mass destruction, bomb Iraq.
They've got weapons we can't see,
And that's good enough for me
'Cos it'all the proof I need

to Bomb Iraq.

If you never were elected, bomb Iraq.
If your mood is quite dejected, bomb Iraq.
If you think Saddam's gone mad,
With the weapons that he had,
(And he tried to kill your dad),
Bomb Iraq.


If your corporate fraud is growin', bomb Iraq.
If your ties to it are showin', bomb Iraq.
If your politics are sleazy,
And hiding that ain't easy,
And your manhood's getting queasy,
Bomb Iraq.

Fall in line and follow orders, bomb Iraq.
For our might knows not our borders, bomb Iraq.
Disagree? We'll call it treason,
Let's make war not love this season,
Even if we have no reason,
Bomb Iraq.

Suggestions For Saddam: (Same tune, different lyrics for those on the other
side of the fence.)

If your son defects the country, have him shot.
Lure him home with all promises you've got.
Tell him, "Son I really miss you."
Fakely sniff and use some tissue.
But that brat went off to dis you. Have him shot!

If your scientists start talking take em down.
(Use a car bomb while they're headin' out of town.)
If they happen to survive
rape their daughters and their wives.
You at least ruined their lives. Take em down!

If your generals do too well, plot their death.
Just make sure those upstarts gasp their final breath.
They might rise to overthrow you
since they're close enough to know you.
But you shouldn't let 'em show you. Plot their death!

If your people don't respect you, gas 'em good.
Your a cold psychotic killer so you should!
While they're gagging you can smile
for their pain will last awhile.
After all it's just your style. Gas 'em good.

If the sanctions starve your people, just sit back.
You live in the grandest palace in Iraq.
To buy weapons sell your oil,
that is buried 'neath the soil.
Eat your cake while peasants toil. Just sit back!

And if Bush should try to stop you, that's okay.
All the liberals will rise up to save the day!
They'll write stupid goofy songs,
while they're puffin' on their bongs.
They'll blame him for all your wrongs. Hip hurray!

All the liberals stand beside you so take heart!
After all Sean Penn and Clooney are soooo smart.
They forget about the towers
as they downplay all your powers.
(I bet Babs will send you flowers!) So take heart!

And remember Adolf Hitler? What a guy!
Why Saddam you'll be much greater. Don't be shy!
While the Jews in Europe wept,
then the Sleeping Giant slept.
See they're still just as inept. Don't be shy!