How To Dump A Man

[ibobsy]

> Dear ________,
>
> I regret to inform you that you have been eliminated from further
> contention as Mr. Right. As you are probably aware, the competition
> was exceedingly tough and dozens of well-qualified candidates such as
> yourself also failed to make the final cut. I will, however, keep
> your
> name on file should an opening become available.
>
> So that you may find better success in your future romantic endeavours,
> please allow me to offer the following reason(s) you were disqualified
> from the competition.
>
> Tick those that apply...)
>
> Your last name is objectionable. I can't imagine taking it,
> hyphenating t, or subjecting my children to it.
>
> ___Your first name is objectionable. It's just not something I can
> picture myself yelling out in a fit of passion.
>
> ___The fact that our dining experiences to date has left MY wallet a
> little lighter, and YOUR pants a little tighter!
>
> ___Your inadvertent admission that you "buy condoms by the
> truckload" indicates that you may be interested in me for something other
>than my personality.
>
> ___You failed the 20 Question Rule, i.e., I asked you 20 questions
> about yourself before you asked me more than one about myself.
>
> ___Your legs are skinnier than mine.
>
> ___You're too short. Any son that we produced would inevitably be
> beaten up repeatedly at playtime.
>
> ___You're too tall. I'm developing a chronic neck condition from
> trying to kiss you.
>
> ___I find your inability to fix my car extraordinarily unappealing.
>
> ___The fact that your apartment has been condemned reveals an
> inherent slovenliness that I fear is unbreakable.
>
> ___The phrase "My Mother" has popped up far too often in
> conversation.
>
> ___You still live with your parents.
>
> ___Although I do enjoy the X-Files, I find your wardrobe of Star Trek
> uniforms a little disconcerting.
>
> ___Your frequent references to your ex-girlfriend lead me to suspect
> that you are some sort of psychotic stalker.
>
> ___Your ability to belch the alphabet is not a trait that I am
> seeking in a long-term partner.
>
> ___Your height is out of proportion to your weight. If you should
> however, happen to gain the necessary 17 vertical inches, please resubmit
>your application.
>
> ___Somehow I doubt those condoms I found in your overnight bag were
> really necessary for a successful business trip.
>
> ___I am out of your league, set your sights lower next time.
>
> Sincerely, ______________________

[Soulassassin]

Very funny....Although its probably better that my other half does'nt read this

[Greenback]

I'm printing this for my daughter and sending a copy, ticked, to her (Ex) boyfriend