What not to say at an airport check in...

**Gel** · 6th July 2003

Just got back from the states and at the check in I was asked if anyone unknown to me had given me anything to take onboard.

With my sense of humor I told them a tall guy with a beard and a turban had done so and that I wasn't really supposed to tell.

They didn't find it very funny at all.

**CountZero** · 6th July 2003

Quality mate

I fly between the UK and states often, and when i went to NYC this christmas the airport police were bloody facists

I've always wanted to give a reply like that, especially to their bloody stupid questions (If I was an Arab terrorist, I would not answer yes to the question "Do you have a bomb on you"

)

**Thrush** · 6th July 2003

I think American airport staff use the K.I.S.S. system...

Keep it simple stupid

and you can't go wrong... so to some people it would seem like a stupid question, but to most.... well ^____^

oE · 6th July 2003

I nearly got thrown off a BA flight for making a silly bin larden comment on a flight back to Newcastle - no sence of humor.

oE.

**4me2** · 6th July 2003

Think yourself lucky you didnt get a strip search and anal passage inspection.

**mummikub** · 6th July 2003

Originally posted by 4me2
Think yourself lucky you didnt get a strip search and anal passage inspection.

lmao 4me2

or even worse an anal probe

mrs jd

**Thrush** · 6th July 2003

nothing wrong with a good anal probing... clears you right out!

oE · 6th July 2003

Hmm dont like the sound of any of that - they did threaten to ban me from all BA flights which would have fucked me right up cos I fly BA like 4 times a month :-(

oE.

**Dan** · 7th July 2003

There's a fine line between "no sense of humour" and lax security. If someone said they were given a bomb by a guy in a turban, and the plane went and blew up, imagine the scandal

**CzarJunkie** · 7th July 2003

Originally posted by Gel
Just got back from the states and at the check in I was asked if anyone unknown to me had given me anything to take onboard.

With my sense of humor I told them a tall guy with a beard and a turban had done so and that I wasn't really supposed to tell.

They didn't find it very funny at all.

I bet they get wise cracks like that all the time............they probably just thought you were about as funny as Sept 11th.

**barakuda** · 7th July 2003

Q. Hello sir, did you pack these bags yourself?
A. No, my afghan brother in law kindly offered to pack it for me.

Q. Has the bag been with you at all times?
A. Yes, apart from when some arab looking chaps outside kindly offered to pre scan my case for explosives. They were only gone for 5 minutes with my case - very helpful chaps.

Q. Has anyone asked you to carry anything on the plane for them?
A. No, but this nice chap gave me a free clock over there. I'm not sure why it has a big lump of plasticine on the back, but it must be worth a lot of money as he told me to be very careful with it. Some other nice fellow asked me to take this jar of Coffemate on to the flight with me and to give it to his friend who will meet me at the other end. He offered me �500 for this! Of course, I told him that it was no bother and that I would do it for free.

Q. Do you have anything in your case that looks like a weapon?
A. No, but I've got these novelty exploding trainers on. The bloke who I bought them from said that it would really liven up the flight. He said not to let anyone see me light the fuse though as that would ruin the surprise.

Seriously though, I was watching one of those Airport programs the other night. It was at Heathrow I think and some american guy told one of the staff that he had a machine gun in a violin case as a joke. They called the police and he was arrested and the airline in question refused to let him board the plane. He was hauled away to the police station for the night and had to buy a new plane ticket the next day. Bet he won't crack a joke like that again!

**Gel** · 7th July 2003

Originally posted by barakuda
Q. Do you have anything in your case that looks like a weapon?
A. No, but I've got these novelty exploding trainers on. The bloke who I bought them from said that it would really liven up the flight. He said not to let anyone see me light the fuse though as that would ruin the surprise.

Lol

**Gavin M** · 7th July 2003

lol @ barakuda

but seriously, do they think asking questions like, "is that a bomb in ur turban or u just pleased to see me", will catch anyone out, but as long as it stops the planes blowing up who's to complain, i want to die old and gray not young and splaterd 50ft across a mountain

**EvilBoB** · 9th July 2003

Sweet! I went to Egypt recently and an Egyptian soldier (with automatic weapon in hand) asked "You have bomb?" and pointed at my camera bag...

I soooo had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying anything. Probably for the best as the Uzi he had looked pretty nasty!

**wizer** · 9th July 2003

Originally posted by EvilBoB
Sweet! I went to Egypt recently and an Egyptian soldier (with automatic weapon in hand) asked "You have bomb?" and pointed at my camera bag...

I soooo had to bite my tongue to stop myself saying anything. Probably for the best as the Uzi he had looked pretty nasty!

them egypt fuckers. An Armed Gaurd asked me to give him my english notes (that I had loose in my pocket ready for when we got back to England). When I said no loudly he gave me a dirty look and put his hand on his gun.. I laughed and walk away. Prick

**EvilBoB** · 9th July 2003

Hmm.. That's either REALLY brave or REALLY stupid

**jimbob2002** · 9th July 2003

Nope, I think its clever.
An armed gaurd in an airport isnt going to murder someone for their money, but they may try and intimidate them.
By Wizer saying "No" loudly, it would have attracted attention from people all around therefore dettering the gaurd from persueing the matter further!