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  1. #1
    DF VIP Member
    kracken's Avatar
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    Default Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    July 18 - I just tried to connect to America Online. I've heard it is
    the best online service I can get. They even included a free disk! I'd
    better hold onto it incase they don't ever send me anther one! I can't
    connect. I don't know what is wrong.

    July 19 - Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a
    modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he
    think I am?

    July 22 - I bought the modem. I couldn't figure out where it goes. It
    wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.

    July 23 - I finally got the modem in and hooked up. that nine year old
    next door did it for me. But it still don't work. I cant get online.

    July 25 - That nine year old kid next door hooked me up to America
    Online for me. He's so smart. I told the kid he was a prodigy. But he
    says that's just another service. What a modest kid. He's so smart and
    he does these services for people. Anyway he's smarter then the jerks
    who sold me the modem. They didn't even tell me about communications
    software. Bet they didn't know. And why do they put two telephone jack
    holes in the back of a modem when you only need one? And why do they
    have one labeled phone when you are not suppose to hook it to the
    phone jack on the wall? I thought the dial tone sounded funny! Boy,
    are modem makers dumb! But the kid figured it out by the sound.

    July 26 - What's the internet? I thought I was on America Online. Not
    this internet thing. I'm confused.

    July 27 - The nine year old kid next door showed me how to use this
    America Online stuff. I told him he must be a genius. He says that he
    is compared to me. Maybe he's not so modest after all.

    July 28 - I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer
    but nothing happened. maybe I need to buy a microphone.

    July 29 - I found this thing called usenet. I got out of it because
    I'm connected to America Online not usenet.

    July 30 - These people in this usenet thing keep using capital
    letters. How do they do that? I never figured out how to type capital
    letters. Maybe they have a different type of keyboard.

    JULY 31 - I CALLED THE COMPUTER MAKER I BOUGHT IT FROM TO COMPLAIN
    ABOUT NOT HAVING A CAPITOL LETTER KEY. THE TECH SUPPORT GUY SAID IT
    WAS THIS CAPS LOCK KEY. WHY DIDN'T THEY SPELL IT OUT? I TOLD HIM I GOT
    A CHEAP KEYBOARD AND WANTED A BETTER ONE. AND ONE OF MY SHIFT KEYS
    ISNT THE SAME SIZE AS THE OTHER. HE SAID THATS A STANDARD. I TOLD HIM
    I DIDN'T WANT A STANDARD KEYBOARD BUT ANOTHER BRAND. I MUST HAVE HAD
    AN IMPORTANT COMPLAINT BECAUSE I HEARD HIM TELL THE OTHER SUPPORT GUYS
    TO LISTEN IN ON OUR CONVERSATION.

    AUGUST 1 - I FOUND THIS THING CALLED THE USENET ORACLE. IT SAYS THAT
    IT CAN ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS I ASK IT. I SENT IT 44 SEPARATE QUESTIONS
    ABOUT THE INTERNET. I HOPE IT RESPONDS SOON.

    AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS
    JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER
    SIDE! HA! HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE
    TIMES.

    AUGUST 3 - I KEEP HEARING ABOUT THE WORLD WIDE WEB. I DON'T NOW
    SPIDERS GREW THAT LARGE.

    AUGUST 4 - THE ORACLE RESPONDED TO MY QUESTIONS TODAY. GEEZ IT WAS
    RUDE. I WAS SO ANGRY THAT I POSTED AN ANGRY MESSAGE ABOUT IT TO
    REC.HUMOR.ORACLE. I WASNT SURE IF I POSTED RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 22
    MORE TIMES.

    AUGUST 5 - SOMEONE TOLD ME TO READ THE FAQ. GEEZ THEY DIDN'T HAVE TO
    USE PROFANITY.

    AUGUST 6 - SOMEONE ELSE TOLD ME TO STOP SHOUTING IN ALL MY MESSAGES.
    WHAT A STUPID JERK. IM NOT SHOUTING! IM NOT EVEN TALKING! JUST TYPING!
    HOW CAN THEY LET THESE RUDE JERKS GO ON THE INTERNET?

    August 7 - Why have a Caps Lock key if you're not suppose to use it?
    Its probably an extra feature that costs more money.

    August 8 - I just read this post called make money fast. I'm so
    exited. I'm going to make lots of money. I followed his instructions
    and posted it to every newsgroup I could find.

    August 9 - I just made my signature file. Its only 6 pages long. I
    will have to work on it some more.

    August 10 - I just looked at a group called alt.aol.sucks. I read a
    few posts and I really believe that aol should be wiped off the face
    of the earth. I wonder what an aol is.

    August 11 - I was asking where to find some information about
    something. Some guy told me to check out ftp.netcom.com. I've looked
    and looked but I can't find that group.

    August 12 - I sent a post to every usenet group on the Internet asking
    where the ftp.netcom.com is. hopefully someone will help. I cant ask
    the kid next door. His parents said that when he comes back from my
    house he's laughing so hard he can't eat or sleep or do his homework.
    So they wont let him come over anymore. I do have a great sense of
    humor. I don't know why the rec.humor group didn't like my chicken
    joke. Maybe they only like dirty stuff. Some people sent me posts
    about my 56 posts of the joke and they used bad words.

    August 13 - I sent another post to every usenet group on the Internet
    asking where the ftp.netcom.com is. I had forgot yesterday to include
    my new signature file which is only 8 pages long. I know everyone will
    want to read my favorite poem so I included it. I'm also going to add
    that short story I like.

    August 14 - Some guy suspended my account because of what I was doing.
    I told him I don't have an account at his bank. He's so dumb.

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member wadgey's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    lol....quality post matey!!!

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member maverick_15's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    lol

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member
    bbshark's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    very good :thumbs :stupid
    bb

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member big man's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    That's fantastic
    I am a loud man with a very large hat. This means I am in charge

    Never argue with an idiot. They will bring you down to their level, then beat you with experience.

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member Tammer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    hahahahaha, strangely true!

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member BM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    Quote Originally Posted by kracken
    AUGUST 2 - I FOUND A GROUP CALLED REC.HUMOR. I DECIDED TO POST THIS
    JOKE ABOUT THE CHICKEN THAT CROSSED THE ROAD. TO GET TO THE OTHER
    SIDE! HA! HA! I WASNT SURE I POSTED IT RIGHT SO I POSTED IT 56 MORE
    TIMES.
    Bwhahahahahahahah

  8. #8
    DF MaSter aramis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Taken from the Diary of an AOL user ......

    weirdly accurate

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