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  1. #1
    DF VIP Member MrQ's Avatar
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    Default Jesus In Job Center

    Jesus Goes To The Job Center Looking For Work Bloke Behind Desk Says Hello Sir How Can We Help Jesus Says Well Im Looking For A Bit Of Job To Tie Me Over For A Few Weeks.......bloke Says Well Sir We Have Two Jobs Avalible One Is In Glasgow And One Is In Jeruselem The One In Glasgow Pays £250 A Week But You Have To Pay £50 Twoards Board Rent Food Ect And The One In Jeruselem Pays £2000 A Week With House Swimming Pool All Mod Cons Ect So Jesus Says To The Bloke I`ll Take The One In Glasgow If You Dont Mind Because Last Time I Was In Jeruselem I Got Hammered In Tax
    "I HAVE NOTHING TO DECLARE BUT MY GENIUS" OSCAR WILDE

  2. #2
    DF VIP Member Mr.James's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    Random words thrown together? How's that funny?

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member Bez625's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    I thought it was quite funny if a bit too long, maybe less words and possibly saying he was stoned in tax?

    -Bez

    Actually on seconed thought that makes no sense, Jesus wasnt killed for not paying his taxes. Thats shit.

  4. #4
    DF VIP Member flipper321's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    I do get it, not great though. Jesus was cruscified (read "nailed", tacks are a sort of type of nail) - does kind of make sense.

  5. #5
    DF VIP Member
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    1. shit joke
    2. ever heard of punctuation ?

  6. #6
    DF VIP Member SoundOfFaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    U boring gets!! That was a cracking joke. LOL

  7. #7
    DF VIP Member maverick_15's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    that was not a cracking joke, that was ****
    "There are two ways to slide easily through life: to believe everything or to doubt everything; both ways save us from thinking." - Alfred Korzybski

    "Alcohol, the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" - Homer J. Simpson

  8. #8
    DF VIP Member CON-DIGI's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    For fooks sake, leave the guy alone! :annoyed:
    If you lot know any better jokes then get them posted, instead of bitching about "Punctuation" or the joke being"Shit" :annoyed:
    "Windows has been unable to detect a keyboard, press enter to continue"

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member Gavin M's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    is this any better

    Jesus is strolling around heaven one day when God (his dad) comes up to him and says, "Don’t you miss being back on Earth Jesus?"
    Jesus says, "Well, a bit. I’ve really been thinking about going back down there you know and trying to live amongst the people."
    So God being the nice fellow that he is sends Jesus back down to Earth on the promise he won’t do any preaching.
    "So" Jesus thinks to himself, "If I’m going to manage to live I’m going to need a job to earn some money." So he strolls into the local job centre and asks the man behind the desk if he can have a job (20 signatures, 3 proof of ID's, 6 appointments and 3 weeks later).
    "Certainly. What would you like to do?” Jesus is asked.
    "Well I don’t know. I’d like to keep my options open, but I’m an intelligent man and can adapt quickly, so anything with a lot of money." He is given two options (lucky *******) "1.its in Glasgow and pays £250 a week but you have to pay £50 towards board, rent, food etc...”
    "And the second?" Jesus asks...
    "And the second one is in Jerusalem and pays two grand a week. You get to stay in a luxury hotel. It has a swimming pool, a masseuse and the best food in the world" replies the *******, I mean dole man
    "I’ll just take the first one" Jesus says.
    "Eh! What the fok for?" the man replies.
    Jesus:"Welllllllllllllll, Jerusalem promises a lot but once you’re there they nail you good and proper with the tax.”

    thanx Chippa, just thought i would edit myn incase they dont see yours untill after reading it, was just in 1 of my daft msn moods thats why i typed it like it was
    Last edited by Gavin M; 17th December 2003 at 12:28 PM.

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member Chippa's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    For the spell checkers out there. I've tidied it up a bit for you.

    Jesus is strolling around heaven one day when God (his dad) comes up to him and says, "Don’t you miss being back on Earth Jesus?"
    Jesus says, "Well, a bit. I’ve really been thinking about going back down there you know and trying to live amongst the people."
    So God being the nice fellow that he is sends Jesus back down to Earth on the promise he won’t do any preaching.
    "So" Jesus thinks to himself, "If I’m going to manage to live I’m going to need a job to earn some money." So he strolls into the local job centre and asks the man behind the desk if he can have a job (20 signatures, 3 proof of ID's, 6 appointments and 3 weeks later).
    "Certainly. What would you like to do?” Jesus is asked.
    "Well I don’t know. I’d like to keep my options open, but I’m an intelligent man and can adapt quickly, so anything with a lot of money." He is given two options (lucky *******) "1.its in Glasgow and pays £250 a week but you have to pay £50 towards board, rent, food etc...”
    "And the second?" Jesus asks...
    "And the second one is in Jerusalem and pays two grand a week. You get to stay in a luxury hotel. It has a swimming pool, a masseuse and the best food in the world" replies the *******, I mean dole man
    "I’ll just take the first one" Jesus says.
    "Eh! What the fok for?" the man replies.
    Jesus:"Welllllllllllllll, Jerusalem promises a lot but once you’re there they nail you good and proper with the tax.”

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member MikeyJ25's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    Your missing the point. A shit joke is a shit joke regardless of a couple of full stops and commas. The 'updated' version is just as bad as the original!!

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member SoundOfFaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    Oh for Gods sake everyone, shut up u boring mo fo's!!!

    Wots with posting a version of the joke with correct punctuation, u sad little man.

    I do not want 2 hear another word out of u, go and stand in the corner.

    DUNCE!!!!!

  13. #13
    DF VIP Member maverick_15's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    they were posting a revised version because they thought people were abusing the original poster because of his punctuation- they werent, they were abusing him because the joke was shit. why are you bringing up a thread from last december?

  14. #14
    DF Probation Porthos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    shit is shit

  15. #15
    DF VIP Member wizard1974uk's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    Crap joke and yes, why drag up a dead 3 month old thread??

  16. #16
    DF VIP Member Shotgunjim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    HOS for the joke and stupid replies!!! :tongue
    - Plan for Tomorrow - Live for today - Hail to the King Baby -

  17. #17
    DF VIP Member SoundOfFaz's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    lol

  18. #18
    DF VIP Member MaxP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    Oi Oi.....

    all gather round for a group hug and a verse of "she be comming round the mountain"
    far too much bad vibes going down....

  19. #19
    DF VIP Member Morph's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    ffs come on lads, either do better or shut the **** up!

    simple, mediocre joke end of. mods ??? please move, ban, close or somehting! :-)
    .

  20. #20
    DF MaSter aramis's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jesus In Job Center

    ur redecorating an already bad joke

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