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Thread: Apologies

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member
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    Default Apologies

    I confess I watched 'This Morning' this morning, however, it did lead me on to quite an amusing website

    http://www.the-apologist.co.uk/apologies/index.php

    Its a place where you can apologise for anything and everything and some of them are damn funny, here's an example.

    'During the late seventies I worked for a fruit & veg supply company. One day I was given a special order to make up. It was for a dinner that evening and Margaret Thatcher, then PM, was guest of honour.
    Part of the order was a box of button mushrooms. I picked up a mushroom, rolled up a ball of snot, slid it up the mushroom's stem and under the cap. I did another, then another, then another. I just couldn't stop myself. By the time the order was despatched I'd done more than half the box. So, Baroness Thatcher, I'm sorry you ate my bogies.'

    :thumbs

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    DF VIP Member DaveTheRave's Avatar
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    Default Re: Apologies

    quality site

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    Default Re: Apologies

    another;

    I wish to apologise to the owner of a plastic molding company I worked for twenty two years ago.
    I apologise for returning from our Christmas break a day late after a misunderstanding on my part of the return to work date after our ten day break.
    I apologise for getting angry when you informed me my Christmas holiday pay would be forfeit and that I would have to work the first two weeks back for zero pay.
    I apologise for telling you that working a sixty hour week (eight hours a day plus four hours compulsory overtime at flat rate) for ninety five pounds was hardly encouraging people to return to work.
    I apologise for telling you to stick your job and your sweatshop up your pampered oversized backside.
    I apologise for going to the warehouse, grabbing a fishing tackle box from the Woolworths order, taking it to the toilets and taking a huge dump in it,then returning it to its packaging and putting it back in the Woolworths order.
    I apologise for laughing myself sick when two weeks later I heard you had lost all your Woolworths contracts and were being personally sued by an irate Woolworths customer.

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    DF VIP Member VeRbIeR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Apologies

    Good site m8.

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    DF VIP Member GameKing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Apologies

    nice link, but 'Mule' why oh why did you confess to watching 'this morning', could you not just have said "I came across it whilst browsing the Web" :|

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    DF VIP Member psibob84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Apologies

    ROFL I LOVE THIS SITE
    But there is no excuse for watching this morning

    I would like to apologise to a previous employer where I worked part-time during one long hot summer when I was at College. I didn't mean to set fire to the rubbish compactor and cause the whole warehouse to be evacuated with the subsequent loss of customers and goods.

    I would also like to apologise to the firemen who had to attend to put out the fire in the container which, by this time, was a roaring inferno.

    I would also like to apologise to the MD of the company for lying to him when he had me up against the wall by my throat accusing me of dropping a discarded cigarette into the rubbish ... I didn't mean to lie and say I had just returned from lunch and 'found' the fire.

    I would also like to apologise to the fireman who saved my miserable neck by convincing the MD that there had been a lot of spontaneous combustion that year

    And last but not least, I would like to apologise to all the management and staff who presented me with a bravery award for attempting to combat the fire single-handedly. I would return the cheque but I foolishly spent the money down the pub.

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    DF VIP Member tam9's Avatar
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    Default Re: Apologies

    An even better site is grouphug.us fscking funny as shit.

    Tam.

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    DF VIP Member
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    Default Re: Apologies

    Quote Originally Posted by gameking48
    nice link, but 'Mule' why oh why did you confess to watching 'this morning', could you not just have said "I came across it whilst browsing the Web" :|
    Oh yeah...:oops

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