job application
Apparently this is an actual job application that a 17 year old submitted at a McDonalds in Florida.
Name: Greg Bulmash.
Sex: Not yet- waiting for the right person.
Desired Position: Company President or Vice President. If not, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldnt be applying here.
Desired Salary: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.
Education: Yes.
Last Position Held: Target for middle management hostility.
Salary: Less than I'm worth.
Most Notable Achievement: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.
Reason For Leaving: It sucked.
Available For Work: Of course. That's why I'm applying.
Preferred Hours: 1:30-3:30pm, Monday to Thursday.
Do You Have Any Special Skills: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.
May We Contact Your Current Employer: If I had one, would I be here?
Do You Have A Car?: I think the appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"
Have You Received Any Special Awards Or Recognition?: I may already be the winner of the Publishers Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.
Do You Smoke?: On the job, no. On my breaks, yes.
What Would You Like To Be Doing In Five Years?: Living in the Bhamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb blonde who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.
Do You Certify That The Above Is True And Complete To The Best Of Your Knowledge?: Yes. Absolutely.
Sign Here: Aries.
Based on the above CV, they hired him for his honesty and humour.
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