are chavs worthy of a joke ?

**Zippeyrude** · 20th January 2005

Ok some are oldies but chav bashing is always good fun

1. What do you call a chav in a vault?

Safe

2. What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet?

Sorted

3. What do you call a chav in a box?

Innit

4. What do you call an Eskimo Chav?

Innuinnit.

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

6. What do you call a Chavette in a white tracksuit?

The bride.

7. If you see a Chav on a bike, why should you try not to hit him?

It might be your bike.

8. What's the difference between a Chav and a coconut?

One's thick and hairy, the other's a coconut.

9. What's the first question at a Chav quiz night?

"What you lookin' at?"

10. How do you get 100 Chavs into a phone box?

Paint three stripes on it.

11. Two Chavs in a car without any music. Who's driving?

The police.

12. A chav walks into the local job centre, marches straight up to the counter and said "Hi, I'm looking for a job". The man behind the counter replies "Your timing is amazing. We've just got one in from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymph0maniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes and wear the uniform provided. The hours are a bit long but the meals are provided. You also have to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The Salary package is #200,000 a year".

The chav says "You're having me on!"

The man behind the counter says "Well you started it!"

13. A housing officer is helping a chavette fill in a form and asks for the name of her children. "Hmmmm Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and Wayne".
The housing officer questions the practicalities of calling all your children by the same name.
The chavette replies "It's great. If I want them to come in I just have to shout Wayne, your tea's ready and they all come together".
The housing officer says "yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak
to one of them?"
"Easy, I call him by his surname."

14. What's the difference between an Essex girl and a Walrus?
One's got a moustache and stinks of fish... and the other one's...

(All together now)

...A WALRUS!

15. What's the difference between an Essex girl and a fridge?

A fridge don't fart when you pull your meat out

**chevyuk** · 20th January 2005

The housing officer says "yes, I see, but what if you only wanted to speak
to one of them?"
"Easy, I call him by his surname."

spot on! class.

**Tasseltine** · 20th January 2005

5. Why are Chavs like slinkies?

They have no real use but it's great to watch one fall down a flight of
stairs.

I like that one. :thumbs

Nicely done.

**{{909}}** · 22nd January 2005

"12. A chav walks into the local job centre,.... "

fantastic!

**jonesybones** · 8th March 2005

Sawted!

**CzarJunkie** · 8th March 2005

moved to jokes section...........

**wtaylor** · 8th March 2005

Makes a change from the same jokes being about scousers ......he he

**ryeski** · 8th March 2005

Alrite jokes yeah, but the word Chav, was originated when football hooliganism was around and it was used because of the burberry and stone island clothing. so i dont understand why people are calling rude boys chavs, when clearly they aint! but nice post neway.

**Lighty** · 9th March 2005

Originally Posted by wtaylor

Makes a change from the same jokes being about scousers ......he he

I was gonna say actually its normally substituted for "Scouser" where i come from
let me paraphrase

What do you call a scouser in a suit?
The Accused

What do you call a scouser in a mansion?
A burgalar

Whats the difference between a scouse bird and the titanic?
Only 1500 men went down on the titanic

Whats the difference between a scouse bird and a shopping trolley?
A shopping trolley has a mind of its own

What do a scouse bird and a computer have in common?
You dont appreciate em until they go down on you

lastly my fave

Whats teh difference between a scouse bird and a boeing 747?
a boeing 747 only has 1 cockpit!

That sort of thing you know................. :whistle

**Epiphany** · 9th March 2005

Originally Posted by ryeski

Alrite jokes yeah, but the word Chav, was originated when football hooliganism was around and it was used because of the burberry and stone island clothing. so i dont understand why people are calling rude boys chavs, when clearly they aint! but nice post neway.

Its because they all wear the cheap knock off burberry clothing, especially the caps. Just like in who ever has the '****er lights' signature.

**Sharpy** · 9th March 2005

Originally Posted by Epiphany

Its because they all wear the cheap knock off burberry clothing, especially the caps. Just like in who ever has the '****er lights' signature.

Isnt chav short for charver? "Cooshty bardy charvers" have been around for at least 30 years that i know of in the north east so burbury/berghaus may have made them more recognisable now but they've been around a lot longer.

Karma for the jokes though - Especialy like the charver lass at the council.