**Breaking news** Hurricane in Basildon
A major Hurricane (Shazza) ravaged Basildon, Essex in the early hours of
Monday morning. Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering
"faaackin ell" ...
The hurricane decimated the area causing approximately £30 worth of
damage.
Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish
Costas were damaged beyond repair.
Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed. Many locals were
woken well before their giros arrived.
Essex FM (County Radio Station) reported that hundreds of residents were
confused and bewildered, still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Basildon.
One resident - Tracy Sharon Smith, a 15-year-old mother of 5 said "It was
such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes came running into my bedroom
crying. My youngest two Tyler-Morgan and Megan-Storm slept through it all.
I was still shaking when I was watching Trisha the next morning."
Apparently though, looting, muggings and car crime did carry on as normal.
The British Red Cross has so far managed to ship 4,000 crates of Sunny
Delight to the area to help the stricken locals. Rescue workers are still
searching th rough the rubble and have found large quantities of personal
belongings, including benefit books, jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos
and Bone China from Poundland.
HOW CAN YOU HELP?
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after, items most needed include:
-- Fila or Burberry baseball caps
-- Kappa tracksuit tops (his and hers)
-- Shell suits (female)
-- White sport socks
-- Rockport boots
-- Any other items usually sold in Primark.
Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs include:
-- Microwave meals
-- Tins of baked beans
-- Ice cream
Cash Donations can help
22p buys a biro for filling in the compensation forms
£2 buys chips, crisps and blue fizzy drinks for a family of 9
£5 will pay for a packet of B&H and a lighter to calm the nerves of those affected.
**Breaking news**
Rescue workers found a girl in the rubble smothered in claret -
'Where are you bleeding from?' they asked - "ROMFORD" said the girl, "woss
that got to do wiv it?"
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Originally Posted by shangrula
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