The Monkey
This is great!!!!!
A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and
while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place.
The monkey grabs some Olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs
some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table,
grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to
everyone's amazement, somehow swallows it whole.
The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just
did?"
The guy says "No, what?"
The bartender screams "He just ate the cue ball off my pool
table-whole!"
"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats
everything in sight, the little b*stard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue
ball and
stuff."
He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey
ate, then leaves.
Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him.
He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar
again.
While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino
cherry on the bar.
He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then
the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it
out, and eats it.
The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now?"
he asks.
"No, what?" replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and
a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.
Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats
everything in sight, but ever since he had to sh*t out that cue
ball, he measures everything first."
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