A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
She went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "nothing but the best for my little kitten on christmas".
The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying it for your cat."
The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
The next day, the little old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies- one for each day of christmas.
The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that sometimes old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought her dog. She was then given the cookies.
The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
The cashier said, "NO, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap!"
The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
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