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Thread: Little Old Lady

  1. #1
    DF VIP Member iqrali's Avatar
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    Default Little Old Lady

    A little old lady went to the grocery store and put the most expensive cat food in her basket.
    She went to the check out counter where she told the check out girl, "nothing but the best for my little kitten on christmas".
    The girl at the cash register said, "I'm sorry but we can't sell you cat food without proof that you have a cat. A lot of old people buy cat food to eat, and the management wants proof that you are buying it for your cat."
    The little old lady went home, picked up her cat and brought it back to the store. They sold her the cat food.
    The next day, the little old lady went to the store and bought 12 of the most expensive dog cookies- one for each day of christmas.
    The cashier this time demanded proof that she now had a dog, claiming that sometimes old people sometimes eat dog food. Frustrated she went home, came back and brought her dog. She was then given the cookies.
    The next day she brought in a box with a hole in the lid. The little old lady asked the cashier to stick her finger in the hole.
    The cashier said, "NO, you might have a snake in there." The little old lady assured her that there was nothing in the box that would bite her. So the cashier put her finger into the box and pulled it out and told the little old lady, "That smells like crap!"
    The little old lady grinned from ear to ear, "Now, my dear, can I please buy three rolls of toilet paper?"
    Keep smiling :)
    It makes people wonder what you're up to

  2. #2
    Argyll's Apprentice TwoPlAnKs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    what sorta stupid fucking situation is that

    when the hell is that ever gonna happen

    what sort of retard manager would impose a rule that you had to bring in your cat to buy the fucking food for it, and what sorta retard old person would eat cat food?

    would you have to bring every single woman in the world to tell the cashier that they were in fact NOT your girlfriend just to buy a porno mag?

    uselessly engineered joke, obviously someone just wanted to make a joke and started typing

    that was the worst joke ever, you've ruined my entire week.
    "The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore

  3. #3
    DF VIP Member Spennyboy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    damn TwoPlAnKs you seem pissed.

  4. #4
    Argyll's Apprentice TwoPlAnKs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    well i am cos of my cunting physics teacher who blatantly changed a deadline to fit with his personal holidays and is now trying to cover for it by saying the deadline has always been today, even though that is a complete lie and we all know it

    i was starting to feel happy again, reading all the other good jokes in this section then read this

    nearing a fucking breakdown now.
    "The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore

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    DF VIP Member BertRoot's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by TwoPlAnKs
    nearing a fucking breakdown now.
    The last track you listened to was Survivor - Eye of the Tiger according to your sig. How the feck do you expect to feel?


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    DF VIP Member Shambles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by TwoPlAnKs
    uselessly engineered joke, obviously someone just wanted to make a joke and started typing.
    Remind me to introduce you to iqrali at the next DF meet :tongue

  7. #7
    Argyll's Apprentice TwoPlAnKs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by bertroot
    The last track you listened to was Survivor - Eye of the Tiger according to your sig. How the feck do you expect to feel?
    that was last night - not affecting me now

    plus that song is ace
    "The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore

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    DF VIP Member danthescan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by Shambles
    Remind me to introduce you to iqrali at the next DF meet :tongue
    I wouldnt do that to my worst enemy shambles, 2planks may go over the edge

  9. #9
    DF VIP Member GameKing's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    ho hum, back to the joke, not bad iqrali, it made me chuckle :thumbs

  10. #10
    DF VIP Member iqrali's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by danthescan
    I wouldnt do that to my worst enemy shambles, 2planks may go over the edge
    Keep smiling :)
    It makes people wonder what you're up to

  11. #11
    DF VIP Member iqrali's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Quote Originally Posted by gameking48
    ho hum, back to the joke, not bad iqrali, it made me chuckle :thumbs
    ok at least somebody chuckled
    Keep smiling :)
    It makes people wonder what you're up to

  12. #12
    DF VIP Member ryeski's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    lol. it did make me chuckle. but then reading the quotes after i understand about it being shit, lol. but i cant say i didnt laugh when i read it the first time! nice one
    LoOk ArOuNd Il Be ThErE tO lIfT yOu OfF tHe GrOuNd WhEn YoUr FeElInG dOwN, fEeLiNg DoWn!

  13. #13
    DF VIP Member Soulassassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    Didnt think the joke was very funny but twoPlanks reply was fooking hilarious...
    In fact have some karma.....lol
    If nature always takes the easiest route, what's easier...?
    The creation of billions of galaxies each containing trillions of stars each with their own solar systems, some with planets that have evolved civilisations with billions of different life forms. OR The creation of just your imagination?

  14. #14
    Argyll's Apprentice TwoPlAnKs's Avatar
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    Default Re: Little Old Lady

    cheers mate
    "The Net interprets censorship as damage and routes around it." - John Gilmore

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