Excerpt from pets' diaries
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DAILY DIARY
07:00 am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
09:30 am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVOURITE!
10:30 am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVOURITE!
12:30 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
01:00 pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVOURITE!
04:00 pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVOURITE!
05:00 pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVOURITE!
07:00 pm - OH BOY! PLAYING BALL! MY FAVOURITE!
09:30 pm - OH BOY! SLEEPING ON MASTER'S BED! MY FAVOURITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DAILY DIARY
DAY 183 OF MY CAPTIVITY
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal.
The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild
satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.
Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
Today my attempt to kill my captors, by weaving around their feet while
they were walking, almost succeeded; must try this at the top of the stairs
next time.
In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile creatures, I again induced
myself to vomit on their favourite chair.
Note - to - self: I think I'll try crapping under their bed, too.
Wonder how long it'll take them to find it?
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Damn!
Not working according to plan. There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I
could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my
confinement was due to MY power of "allergeez". Must learn what the Hell
this is and how to use it to my advantage.
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.
The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is
obviously a bloody half-wit.
The bird, on the other hand, appears to have become an informant, and
speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his
current placement in the metal room, his safety is preserved, but I can
wait; it's only a matter of time...little b.......
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by RhinoBanga
Social Networking Bookmarks