Puns

**Q-Ball** · 23rd August 2005

I found these so bad that they made me smile!

1)A raccoon boards an airplane, carrying two dead vultures. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."
2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to

the other and says, "Dam!"

3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they

lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank,

proving once again that you can't have your kayak and

heat it too.

4 Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says "I've lost my

electron." The other says "Are you sure?" The first

replies "Yes, I'm positive."

5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused

Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend

dental medication.

6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel

and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent

tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager

came out of the office and

asked them to disperse. "But why?" they asked, as they

moved off. "Because", he said, "I can't stand

chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."

7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named

"Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain; they

name him "Juan" Years later, Juan sends a picture of

himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the

picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she

also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds,

"They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen

Ahmal."

8. Three friars were behind on their belfry payments,

so they opened up a small florist shop to raise funds.

Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of

God, a rival florist across town thought the

competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to

close down, but they would not.

He went back and begged the friars to close. They

ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh

MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town

to "persuade" them to close. Hugh beat up the friars

and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they

didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby

proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most

of the time, which produced an impressive set of

calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which

made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he

suffered from bad breath. This made him .(Oh, man,

this is so bad, it's good)..... A super calloused

fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

10. And finally, there was the person who sent ten

different puns to his friends, with the hope that at

least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun

in ten did.