Stopping them knocking

[lin]

I am sick to the back teeth of people knocking at the door trying to sell me stuff, talk about religion or generally bore me to death. I want to be able to have my blinds open, let what little light we get into the room without having to pretend I'm not in. We're a bit remote where we are so I'm wary of opening the door anyway.

I want to make a notice for the front door that isn't rude but covers all the pestering sods that call and I am looking for (useable) suggestions please.

No obscenities please but as effective as possible.

[whatnow]

lin, use a webcam on the door if you can, it's what we used to do in student accommodation to stop things like this, people we didn't wanna see and other random annoyances

it can be annoying to check the pc before you check the door but it doubles up as a sensitivity timer which will snap anyone or anything at the door (plus upload to the internet or email etc...)

really a great little feature, everyone should do it if not for security alone

[Mule]

"No unsolicited callers, thankyou."

- The dog eats people it doesn't know

[BertRoot]

Satanists - Disturb at you peril.

Deaf folk indoors. Do not use the bell unless you can sign.

Got windows, got a vacuum, got a kitchen, got a phone service, happy with my utility suppliers so thanks but no thanks. I wouldn't waste your time.

and as I have to

Fuck off you Jakey cunts and get a job that keeps you indoors like cold phone calling you worthless dreg of society.

[CzarJunkie]

Build a wickerman on your front lawn and have a menacing cardboard cut-out of Christopher Lee peering out from your front room.

[Lighty]

First thing is cut them off before they know your there, a lot of these companies get your info from marketing distributors etc so be sure that you have opted out of all that shit more info HERE(Look under preference services) and also just be generally careful when signing up for accounts on amazon, tescos online etc etc I know you prolly are careful but be more careful watch out for the little tick boxes when you sign for stuff and make sure you opt out of it, also if you get a lot of utility companies i.e. British Gas United Utilities, Powergen things like that then you can ring the company and demand that they remove your details from their systems, its the Law.
Other than that personally I have my own ways of dealing with people, I did once have a really persistent guy who at first I just fobbed off with "Oh the wife deals with the electrtic bill mate you'll have to see her" did this three times thinking he wouldnt bother but he did in the end I said no not interested so he turns up again and again and again trying to convince me in the end I just said "Look mate im not a nasty person as such and im sure your a nice guy but your really annoying me now so now Im ganna tell you this....if you come round tomorrow I WILL punch you right in the fucking Jaw and knock you the fuck down those steps. So I suggest we leave it at that and both be happy with what we got!"
He never came back.

[bigdave007]

Get ya stereo set up with a chainsaw sound effect! See how fast they fall over themselves trying to get away! .....it worked for me!

[AJ_007]

"Look mate im not a nasty person as such and im sure your a nice guy but your really annoying me now so now Im ganna tell you this....if you come round tomorrow I WILL punch you right in the fucking Jaw and knock you the fuck down those steps. So I suggest we leave it at that and both be happy with what we got!"
He never came back.

Magic mate, cheeky Jehova witnesses came round on christmas day I politely told them that I was busy celebrating the birth of Jesus Chris plus stuffing my face with turkey breast and cranbury sauce and are very welcome to join us, they soon f*cked off

"You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to Lighty again." gutted

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[burner1]

Print this out and stick it on your door:

[GameKing]

you used to be able to get "no hawkers or circulars" signs that you could put on your door, a bit like this...




failing that just tell them to **** off

[bigdave007]

you used to be able to get "no hawkers or circulars" signs that you could put on your door, a bit like this...




failing that just tell them to **** off

All I need now is for a salesman to knock on my door and sell me one!

[Soulassassin]

My mother has a simple A4 printout of 'No Canvassers' on the inside of the window next to the front door. A lot of people come to the door then just walk away, the ones that don't she just says "can you not read?" and points at the sign. I wouldnt say that was too offensive...

[Shambles]

Just hide your door

[wonkyfox]

Just leave a big scary dog in your front garden!!

[sssammm]

LEPERS SANCTUARY
EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS
DO NOT KNOCK HERE

[TheFincher]

I find that the best thing to do when you get that oh so unexpected knock on the front door is quickly whip off all your clothes and answer it bollock naked (doesnt apply in your case lin )

After your initial embaressment of doing it the first couple of times they will soon become far more embaressed that you and hopefully tell their cold calling arseholes of friends

This idea is great apaert from when your Mother In Law turns up for a "surprise............ bitch "

TheFincher

Dramatisation......... May not have happened

[Nikki]

last time i had some cnut knock at my door, i stood at the window and said go away and poitned to the gate, they realised after the 5th attempt when i was ranting and raving pointing to the gate including the v sign and the window steaming up.

I think he was trying to sell me windows too, i have fckin double glzing cnt u fckin see

[Pongo]

Just hide your door

Wouldn't it be simpler to replace it with a rubber one ?

[Shambles]

maybe

[Nikki]

Wouldn't it be simpler to replace it with a rubber one ?

hide your door buhahahah fckin class.

although i think ppl who ring you up trying to sell youstuff over the phone is worse IMO, i think it sbecause we cant see who they are